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The doghouse

Right time for a dog now? Can't conceive.

21 replies

potentialdogowner · 04/05/2020 14:44

Seeking some advice/thoughts please on whether it's the right time for us to get a dog. Name changed as I don't want it linked to my TTC posts!

We have been married 5 years and own a house in a town, with a small garden, but close to countryside. Husband works mon-fri 9-5 and I work 24 hours per week but across 2 days (shifts). We've always wanted a dog but until recently both worked full time so it wasn't possible. I grew up with them but my husband didn't, and I've done lots of reading in the last couple weeks about what to expect.

Now, we've been trying for a baby for over a year and literally nothing has come of it. Theoretically it could still happen soon, but I feel if it's not happened now it won't happen without help, and thanks to coronavirus that won't be possible any time soon, it could be years before we start a family. Obviously very down about that but have this overwhelming desire to love/look after something, so we've now thought about getting a dog in the next 6 months or so.

Plan would be to get a dog sitter/walker the days I'm at work, or best case scenario my husband would be able to work from home 2-3 days a week after lockdown. We could easily afforded a dog including grooming/food/cost of pedigree/dog walker if needed. My parents have a dog and could dog-sit if we go on holiday.

My question is, do you think this could work at a time we're trying to have a baby? I'm well aware that I may be blinded by my need to care for something, but at the same time owning a dog was always something we wanted. If it matters, my brief research led me to consider a miniature poodle due to the no-shedding and their intelligence. Appreciate any words of wisdom!

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potentialdogowner · 04/05/2020 14:46

(We're late twenties if it makes a difference)

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Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 04/05/2020 14:56

It sounds like you've done all the research and have seriously considered how to care for a dog.
Personally I say go for it!

Thinking towards the future:
DH and I took almost 4 years to conceive DC1 without intervention so it is possible. With that in mind, do you have friends/family with small children. It helped our dog (chihuahua cross) socialise and get used to being around children, so that when your day comes a new baby isn't such a huge culture shock to the dog?

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Ihaveamind · 04/05/2020 15:06

I know more than one couple who got a puppy shortly after marrying and had their first baby two to three years later.
It seems to work out well as the puppy has time to be trained and calm down before a baby is born.
Just remember when training that you will probably have a baby and won't want to change routines when it comes along.
So maybe don't start letting the dog in the bed Smile

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okiedokieme · 04/05/2020 15:16

You have your eyes open to the needs so you seem like great dog owners. Just think carefully about breeds if you will be leaving it sometimes, some are better than others (mine is happy being left alone, in fact isn't keen on this lockdown lark as house is noisier!)

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potentialdogowner · 04/05/2020 15:49

Thanks so much for your replies everyone, wasn't expecting some so soon! We really have been thinking a lot about it. Main concerns are that my husband wouldn't be granted work-from-home so the dog would need a walker/sitter 2 days a week, and the dilemma about which breed to go for.

Any suggestions on dogs which are more able to tolerate time alone, as a pp suggested?

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Elieza · 04/05/2020 21:25

Go for it.

Be careful not to love bomb the dog too much though, my neighbours did this after she was at home I’m sick leave. It constantly has company, so much like corona times!
Then she went back to work and it can’t cope and freaked out, howling and barking all day with separation anxiety.
So factor in some time when the dog is alone with a kong or whatever so it can learn that being alone is fine and the dog walker/one of you will be back in due course.

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Goldenhedgehogs · 05/05/2020 09:19

13 years ago I was in similar situation. We got a rescue lurcher dog who was about a year old. He was lovely, and we had no puppy teething or house training to worry about. He was so gentle he used to turn his head away and hide from our neighbours cat. We continued to try but not loads and two months later I was pregnant. He was a lovely dog and great with the babies and the children growing up, but what I am saying is factor in the possibility of being pregnant with a puppy or young dog. A slightly older dog maybe easier, but we were very lucky.

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MiniChoc · 05/05/2020 15:16

We're getting a miniature poodle next month! There's a great facebook group called 'toy and miniature poodle owners' if you fancy joining. We're also getting a puppy due to my need to love something as TTC is out the window for now.

The advice about doing now what you'd do when you have a baby is a good one, so I'd keep the dog downstairs if I were you.

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MiniChoc · 05/05/2020 15:21
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potentialdogowner · 05/05/2020 15:49

Great advice everyone thank you! Just waiting on some more info from husbands work about working from home after lockdown.

@minichoc thanks for the link! Can I ask how you found your breeder - was it through this group or through Kennel Club or something?

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MiniChoc · 05/05/2020 19:29

I found my breeder on Pets4homes, which I'd been told is the work of the devil on here. However, I found her by contacting breeders through the Kennel Club and two of them emailed me back with Pets4homes listings. So, even the 'good' breeders from KC advertise on P4H.

Just be careful and ask lots of questions.

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MiniChoc · 05/05/2020 19:29

If you're anywhere near Essex let me know and I'll PM you my breeders details!

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Wolfiefan · 05/05/2020 19:32

Just because they are KC registered it doesn’t mean they are “good”
And I wouldn’t get a pup if it was going to be alone two days a week. They can’t be left to start with. At all. My youngest is nearly 7 months. She can manage a couple of hours but that’s it.

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MiniChoc · 05/05/2020 21:04

Ok, wolfie. If not the KC. Where does one find one of these mythical amazing breeders?

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potentialdogowner · 05/05/2020 22:14

@minichoc thanks for your help that's great! I guess if/when we decide to go ahead I'll just start emailing and calling lots of people and breeders to find the best one.

@wolfiefan thanks for your comments, I'm really hoping that my parter will be able to work from home when I work weekdays (but let's face it, thanks to my work I usually do nights and weekends so he'd be home then anyway!). I think realistically I wouldn't feel comfortable getting a puppy if there wasn't someone home for them all the time.

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Witchgonebad · 06/05/2020 00:01

The best way to find a good breeder is via the breed club.
They will arm you with all the info you need about health tests and issues you should know about.

You should expect a grilling when you first contact a breeder and they will want to meet you and the family living with you before you see any puppies.
You should also expect to have to wait. A good breeder will usually have a list of suitable owners on a waiting list before the pups are born.

KC registered is fine, but means nothing on its own

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Wolfiefan · 06/05/2020 09:07

Yes the breed club.
KC just means pedigree. They don’t check up on breeders in any meaningful way.
Good luck OP.

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potentialdogowner · 06/05/2020 09:30

@witchgonebad and @wolfiefan thanks for the pointers! I've found this national club for miniature poodles (miniaturepoodleclub.weebly.com) - so I'd just email them with an intro to us and they'd be happy to help? A lot of the clubs looks like they mostly deal with showing.

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Witchgonebad · 06/05/2020 11:02

Breed clubs deal with everything. Showing, working, breeding, rescue and the health of the breed. They will be concerned with the protection and betterment of the breed and members will have to adhere to strict guidelines.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
If a breeder produces a litter for showing there will always be some that go to pet homes.

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Wolfiefan · 06/05/2020 11:20

It really doesn’t matter if they run shows. They will know different breeders and all about the health tests the parents should have before breeding. Our breed club has been my source of info about grooming and puppies and all sorts of things. And people who show and breed often like pups to go to pet homes who just want to enjoy their dogs.

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potentialdogowner · 06/05/2020 21:12

Thank you for the info! Think we need to do some serious thinking now.

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