Why are there so many wankers on this board?

(261 Posts)
Ocre373 Sat 25-Apr-20 12:15:48

They’re on every thread. I’ve never known a board like it. People come on asking for advice and you can guarantee within a couple of replies someone will jump on something in the OP, often something completely irrelevant to what is being asked. They’re judgemental, condescending, rude and often just plain nasty.

It’s happened to me time and time again and it’s stopped me asking for advice which is such a shame because there’s so many people on here with so much knowledge and experience.

It’s made this a horrible place to be.

OP’s posts: |
GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman Sat 25-Apr-20 13:50:24

I hope I'm not one of the wankers!

There is a lot of judgement on this board. I do sometimes get judgmental, but so often people make mistakes out of ignorance or optimism. And in any case, jumping down someone's throat is not how you make them listen.

It can also be very narrow minded: there is apparently One Right Way to:
Get a dog
Train a dog
Handle a dog
Well, NO, actually: dogs differ, people differ, circumstances differ.

So yeah, some people need to chill.
And I hope I'm not one of them.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 25-Apr-20 13:54:15

I agree. It’s not a chat topic. It’s the chance to attack topic.

Stellaris22 Sat 25-Apr-20 14:06:01

I would never ask for advice here because I'd be scared of the judgemental attitudes.

I understand it probably does come from a place of care for the welfare of animals but it isn't expressed in a nice way.

Main one being purchase of puppies and there only being ONE way to purchase a puppy.

I agree puppies need to be bought with care, but it's no wonder puppy farmers do so well compared to 'proper' breeders who refuse to advertise and can be scary to approach.

A lot of people looking for advice and help just want/have a family pet and aren't interested in kennel club status and just want a healthy and happy pet from responsible breeders.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman Sat 25-Apr-20 14:17:00

Main one being purchase of puppies and there only being ONE way to purchase a puppy.

I put up a long post recently about the different sorts of breeder, and how a caring pet owner who thoughtfully breeds a bitch isn't actually the devil. I was sick of the prescriptive advice which I honestly think has increased the role of puppy farms because people hardly ever breed their pets these days so finding a decent puppy locally has become much harder.

And I feel compelled to specify that by 'breed their pets' I don't mean 'stick two random dogs together without thought or health testing'.

difficulttod Sat 25-Apr-20 14:20:36

I used to be on a forum specifically for small pets and it was exactly the same there. It always felt like if you were new to being a pet owner you were automatically stupid.

Ughmaybenot Sat 25-Apr-20 14:25:22

I don’t know, but I often think the same. It’s depressing, this need to be the most knowledgable while also making everyone else feel as stupid as is possible.
I mean, I’m the devil incarnate, I have a cockapoo and I call him a cockapoo because it’s quicker than working cocker spaniel cross miniature poodle even tho he’s not a REAL breed 😂

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justasking111 Sat 25-Apr-20 14:28:29

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

justasking111 Sat 25-Apr-20 14:29:27

hey cockapoo owner, I have a sprocker, us cross breed owners rock...

MortyFide Sat 25-Apr-20 14:34:00

Hmm I thought exactly this recently having read through another post - it wasn't in the doghouse specifically though, I think it was AIBU. I read the OP, thought she was being entirely reasonable, but within a few posts her dog ownership skills were ripped to shreds based on absolutely nothing she had written but pure conjecture.

I'm convinced people just enjoy being arseholes for fun.

Twenty2 Sat 25-Apr-20 14:40:30

Bloody hell, MN were quick to remove that bit of unpleasant ageism! 👏🏻

PestymcPestFace Sat 25-Apr-20 14:43:11

I always thought this was one of the tamer, nicer sections grin

Quitthat Sat 25-Apr-20 14:45:59

My husband would like us to get a dog. He's had dogs his whole life. I would consider it, but when I first started reading these boards I decided I didn't want to become an arsehole dog owner, which seems almost inevitable reading the topics on here! So many unpleasant dog owners! All putting everyone else down, thinking they're the only person who could ever properly own a dog...

Plus the fact most real life dog owners either don't pick up after their dog, or think everyone just loves being jumped all over by their "friendly" pooch... I'm now determined not to become a dog owner, just because they seem so utterly irrational in so many ways! Owning a dog seems to addle the brain.

This thread has given me a slight glimmer of hope that there might be some normal people in the world owning dogs... ;)

heatseeker14 Sat 25-Apr-20 15:40:31

I’m a first time dog owner and think some of the owners on this board are judgmental and out of touch with the real world. It comes across like they want to start an argument.
Thankfully, I haven’t met a dog owner in RL with the same attitude. People I have met remember the struggles of raising a puppy and are kind about it.
@GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman, you have been the voice of reason on so many threads lately. Please don’t ever leave this place!
I hope anyone new to the Doghouse hasn’t been put off from posting on here. There are lots of friendly, experienced owners on here.

Stellaris22 Sat 25-Apr-20 15:52:25

If I was new to dog ownership then the advice by @GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman recently on purchasing puppies would be really useful.

As the owner of a dog from what is called 'back yard breeding' I don't see the harm as long as it's done with care.

BiteyShark Sat 25-Apr-20 16:00:02

I don't have children but sometimes lurk on parenting threads and see the same type of bun fights over there so I think it's a general thing rather than just this board.

There are a million ways to bring up a dog and it's easy to forget that we are all just trying to do the right thing.

Ocre373 Sat 25-Apr-20 16:01:28

I’ve certainly been put off posting. In fact, this board has made my experience with my puppy far far worse than it would have been without because it’s made me feel completely incompetent.

As an example, I had an experience where we were on a walk and a walker coming in the other direction told me their dog wasn’t friendly but didn’t move so I had to take puppy into the road. I mentioned that puppy had pulled to the end of the lead as we approached this dog (who was at least 40ft away). Dear god I had my arse handed to me because I ‘didn’t have control of my dog’.

My confidence is actually shot because I imagine every dog owner I come across has the attitude of the wankers on here and I’m waiting for a confrontation if my pup doesn’t recall immediately or pulls or is wearing the wrong harness etc. The truth thankfully is that everyone I’ve ever met has been absolutely lovely.

I had another thread very recently (i think I’ve name changes since then) and I mentioned that our pups mum is 10years old. Well you’d have thought I’d murdered someone.

I’d love to name and shame the repeat offenders, I’m sure they know who they are. It’s fine to offer advice, it’s fine to have a difference in option but some replies are just horrible and so unnecessary. It spoils the whole board. Wouldn’t it be lovely if people coming here for advice went away feeling confident, having gained the knowledge they needed instead of feeling belittled and judged. Awful.

OP’s posts: |
RedRed9 Sat 25-Apr-20 16:05:40

I’ve always found it really helpful.

But I’m not saying that abuse doesn’t happen.

People are incredibly passionate about animal welfare and emotions sometimes run overboard.

Ocre373 Sat 25-Apr-20 16:09:57

The puppy thread was great actually, I did get some great support on there.

OP’s posts: |
Smellbellina Sat 25-Apr-20 16:14:08

People can claim they are incredibly passionate about animal welfare and emotions sometimes run overboard , but the level of vitriol on here is more than that, it’s ridiculous

tabulahrasa Sat 25-Apr-20 16:17:11

See, this board is pretty restrained compared to forums that are just for dog owners as opposed to being a sub section on a parenting board...

Ocre373 Sat 25-Apr-20 16:20:30

Really?! Christ, I’m so glad I’ve never ventured into any of those!

OP’s posts: |
RemotelessControl Sat 25-Apr-20 16:23:03

Yes there are some definite repeat offenders.

They trot out the same prescriptive advice and can't offer compassion and discussion.

The greyhound in a flat one was really interesting.

Everyone of us who had a greyhound posted with thoughts on the matter about how it could be workable.

But then the dog police come on flapping their aprons about not having a garden etc. So unhelpful.

fivedogstofeed Sat 25-Apr-20 16:25:39

I'm probably falling into your wanker camp, but I won't stop calling out people who buy from puppy farms.

OTOH more than happy to give friendly advice where I have knowledge or experience.

vanillandhoney Sat 25-Apr-20 16:30:48

I agree that the doghouse can be a harsh place, but I do think most people are coming from a good place. We all love our pets and want to do what's best for them.

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