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How to get puppy to sleep without me?

(9 Posts)
Mostlydrinkingtea Wed 22-Apr-20 13:45:32

Puppy sleeps at night in a crate happily but only if I'm in the same room. He's in the playroom/spare room so there's a bed in there which I started sleeping in on the first week we got him. He settled in really well to the household generally and is confident. Could already go through the night at 9 weeks. I tried leaving the room after a week but he cried for about 3 hours. I tried a second night and again he was crying and howling. I then went back to sleeping with him. Now it's been a month and I really need to get him happy on his own. Any advice? I've been variously advised not to leave him as it makes him stressed and to leave him as he won't learn to sleep alone otherwise. Worried I've got him into a routine that I can't get out of. I tried sleeping there for a few hours and creeping out but he wakes anyway in the night now and again and realises I'm not there so starts to cry.

OP’s posts: |
moobar Wed 22-Apr-20 15:20:32

Scoop him up and take him to bed???

Nah seriously, I don't know how I did it. What's he like in day time? Do you put him in same place to sleep then?

I had a pen then a crate and I just popped them in when they were tired, be it day or night and they slept. During night first week I let them out once, second early morning but I'm up early anyway.

I would start leaving him in day in crate for periods while you are about, and while you are not. They sleep a lot. I suppose the downside of lockdown is almost to much people time.

scochran Fri 24-Apr-20 05:49:31

I've been having this. Am really aware pup, 3 months, needs to learn to be alone. After a walk I can close crate and leave and it's fine but other times not. If she cries when I leave I go back but just sit away from her snd read or something so she can see me but no attention. I keep going in and out snd she eventually settles without being upset.
Just had our best night. I had been on sofa and let her out whenever she whined, sometimes every 2 or 3 hours. I have retreated to another room, because she snores, and I went in at 5 today because hadn't heard from her all night! That's taken me 5 weeks though. I cover crate with blanket at night only to make it different to day time. Night toilet breaks were silent and straight back to bed, no fun or treats.
I put her in playpen in garden till she peed so there was no option for running about too much. I did think some wakeup she wasn't desperate but would rather that than make her pee in crate. I know lots of people and puppies get there quicker than us but as I'm stuck at home I don't mind slow progress.

Mostlydrinkingtea Fri 24-Apr-20 15:35:58

I’ve been trying to get him settled in crate in the day, I put him in when he’s asleep and he stays if I am in the kitchen pottering about. I can sometimes briefly pop to another room if he’s really tired. If not he’ll get up to see where I am. At night I know he doesn’t need a wee but if he’s stressed because he’s alone he might wee in his crate. He did that in one of the nights I left him. I guess I could just keep getting him out for silent toilet trip and putting him back. Have a feeling he’ll cry all night if I do that. He is incredibly persistent about everything - including getting on the sofa and dive bombing the plants in the garden.

I did try a blanket over the crate but he spent ages pulling it through the bars. When he wakes in the morning (with me present) he will sit quietly and chew his toy for a while until asking to go out so I know he can settle it’s just that he won’t let me out of his sight:

I’m seriously wondering if I can deal with this. With home schooling 2 kids and being stuck in the kitchen with a dog that won’t let me out of his sight I’m going a bit mad!

OP’s posts: |
scochran Fri 24-Apr-20 17:03:40

First few nights I slept by the crate open door so I could feel when she was sneaking out. Just kept pushing her back in and patting.
Is it really important the dog sleeps in the kitchen? Move the crate to your room ?

Mostlydrinkingtea Fri 24-Apr-20 17:31:02

@scochran thanks, that's a good tip. I was wondering if I should put the crate in the hall with the door open so he can come in and out. It's a bit dull there though, just a tiled hallway with nothing in it. I really don't want him to sleep in our bedroom as we'll never get him out of there. My husband is slightly allergic, he's fine with a dog in the house but not to sleep in the same room with him. Also I grew up with dogs and we never let them in the bedrooms, they always slept downstairs so that seems like the right thing to me. I don't mind where he sleeps as long as it's downstairs! He's currently sleeping in the basement playroom/living room. It's nice and quiet and not too light in the morning. In the day I bring the crate up to the kitchen as that's where I am so he can nap with me nearby. He's currently crashed out after a long play with the hose in the garden!

OP’s posts: |
Mostlydrinkingtea Fri 24-Apr-20 17:32:52

Also I realised I did a lot of crate training when we got him but I haven't kept it up and he's been sleeping anywhere he crashes so I am going back to offering treats and meals in the crate and putting him in there for all his sleeps.

OP’s posts: |
Girlintheframe Sat 25-Apr-20 05:50:49

We put pup in a crate next to our bed then gradually moved the crate towards to door over a period of about 3 weeks. So pup would be in your room but only temporarily.
Pup then got moved to Dh office and has slept there alone since.

whereiwanttobe Sat 25-Apr-20 06:38:14

We did the same as Girlinaframe. He started in his crate in our room, with one of us getting up for a silent loo break with him, and we would shush him if he cried. He only did that for a few days though. We then moved his crate just out of our room after about a week, then gradually further away and down to the kitchen.

When he was very little we would put him in there for daytime naps too, otherwise he'd just keep going and getting overtired.

Now it's just at night, because he's a velcro dog (spaniel) and would probably lay outside our bedroom door all night - I can't have a bath or visit the loo without stepping over him on the way out!

It's also great if we go away that he still uses his crate at night, especially if he has to sleep in our room at friends' as he'd be jumping on and off the bed all night.

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