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Dog behaving badly with new baby(20 Posts)
I am at a total loss of what to do...
We got our Frenchie a year and a half ago (puppy) and found out I was pregnant about 4 months after (not planned and in hindsight would have waited to get a dog if I knew there would be a pregnancy)
Our frenchie generally was really well behaved, slightly stubborn - it's a character trait and to be expected but generally he was well trained and listened to our commands.
Since baby has come along - she is 3 months now, dog has had a complete personality transplant. Not just with baby but with us aswell - no longer listens to our commands that he once obeyed, started nipping our feet and zips on trousers/laces on shoes if he is doing something he shouldn't, chewing things he shouldn't, running off when off the lead...the list goes on.
With the baby he generally shows no interest unless he is in his hyper mood (witching hour I swear dogs get it too) and he has on multiple occasions tried to jump on her when she is lying on the sofa next to us - there have been two near misses which have resulted in me hyperventilating - as a new mum it's just your worst nightmare thinking you're putting your baby in harms way. He likes to lick her feet and we allow that but sometimes he goes to nip her feet and I can't help but freak out. Where do I draw the line on what is acceptable behaviour and what do I do to improve things.
I am in tears a lot over this issue and I don't really want to consider rehoming but obviously I would never forgive myself if anything were to happen.
Does anyone have any advice for a guilt ridden dog mum and baby mum? I feel like I'm losing my mind and finding this new adjustment so stressful
None of it is acceptable behaviour! Please separate them at all times!
Are you keeping to the normal routine of exercise and training etc?
You need to invest in room dividers or some other means of separating them.
Your dog needs training
Sorry, dog and baby need to be separated. Licking, nipping and trying to jump on aren't ok. Sorry, probably need to rehome.
I wouldn't allow the dog anywhere near the baby. I can only imagine how stressful this is, but your baby's safety has to come first.
You need to keep your dog busy with a chew or something when you have the baby on the settee, behind a safety gate or in a crate/playpen. So he doesn’t get the chance to get near. Difficult now but when the baby is mobile it’ll be harder. If you have insurance would that cover advice from behaviourist?
What is your dogs daily routine? Is it still being walked daily and being adequately stimulated? What has changed for dog since baby came along?
I wouldn’t keep them in separate rooms, as you need your dog to get used to the baby, but I would get a baby gate room divider and never leave your baby unsupervised, even with the dog on the other side, in case he gets over.
You need to double down on the dog training. Is the dog getting out for walks?
He trying to show you something is wrong. Whether he feels jealous or what. We don't know. But those are behaviours of a not happy dog
I wouldn't ever leave them alone together. Never ever. Not even for a second.
Something is wrong. But what. I don't know.
He’s not happy. You need to consult a dog behaviourist.
Thank you for all your responses.
A quick note, I NEVER leave the two in a room unsupervised, I have a baby gate to separate the two and a high chair I can put her in out today the way.
The only time I feel he is athank you so much for all of your responses.
Just to respond back to a few concerns, I never ever leave the baby and dog alone together, we have a baby gate and I can shut him in the kitchen/garden when needed.
Daily routine is roughly this:
Partner leave for work early (6am) feeds dog and leaves
Dog comes up to the bedroom whilst I'm feeding DD, he normally falls back to sleep and chills with us
Get up, eat and take dog for a walk (10-11am)
Chill until partner is home at 4pm
Another walk for dog around 6-7pm
I personally feel I haven't been able to give him the attention he was getting before baby arrives, he was a well trained dog but it seems to have gone out the window. My gut is telling me he may be a little bit stressed/anxious? No signs of aggression from him just not acting like himself at all - it's like he has regressed to being a puppy again.
With the current situation we find ourselves in my partner is home a lot more now I think we must take this opportunity to clamp down on training.
The thought of rehoming breaks my heart so I want to know I've tried everything first but no doubt my baby girls safety is number 1
You need to dedicate more time to the dog. Training and brain games and attention and grooming.
You need to separate the dog and the baby. Completely.
You have an adolescent young dog who’s being ignored for much of the day.
Adolescence can be a challenging time with dogs anyway. Unfortunately this is also coinciding with his life having changed, and no longer being the focus of attention.
You do need to work with him daily, more training and stimulation. I would talk to your vet and ask them to recommend a behaviourist.
He sounds frustrated and bored, does he get to play with other dogs and get properly tired out ?
Is the walk just a trot alongside you/the pram? He sounds incredibly bored and understimulated and certainly doesn't appreciate the 5 hour 'chill'. Do you play games indoors? Work on mental stimulation? Does he mix with other dogs/socialise?
Your dog is a teenager and will be testing his boundaries just like a human one, especially with such a huge change in the house. He will be anxious and uncertain and needs support, consistency and mental stimulation and physical stimulation, again, just like a human teenager.
It is a difficult age to be dealing with a dog and a baby but it will get easier, especially if you put some effort into training and keeping him stimulated, there is no reason you won't have a well behaved dog for the rest of his years as an adult.
Adolescence is really hard anyway, add a newborn to the mix and you have your work cut out for you - I really sympathise.
My dog had me in tears numerous times when he was going through adolescence, and we had no children in the house!
It will get better. Consistency with training is a must and you need to make sure you give the dog plenty of attention. Good walks are a must too - not just the dog trotting along next to the pram - dogs need to run and explore. Put baby in a sling or get an off-road buggy and go to the beach or woods or fields and let your dog run and play for a good hour or so.
Honestly can't thank you all enough for your advice & reassurance
I admit with the new baby taking up most of my attention the dog has fallen by the way side a little.
It's a combination of bad timing
-dog hitting adolescence
- new baby
- coronavirus which means less socialising with friends who have dogs, not taking him further afield to better walks.
I am going to make a conscious effort to play with him and train him whilst baby naps despite my exhaustion & ive just ordered him lots of new toys to play with 😅
Thank you all again, i need to think about this logically not emotionally x
Imo it's not going to get better or easier for you for absolutely ages.
Your baby will soon be crawling, reaching out, trying to interact more, then up on her unsteady feet and away she goes. You're going to need eyes in back of your head for about four years.
I have toddler twins, a four year old and a very mellow dog and equally relaxed cat. I watch them, separate them, protect them and explain to them, exercise them and honestly you do occasionally turn your back. You just do. If I couldn't to an extent trust my kids' and animals' innate gentleness, I would not have the animals.
A consultation or series of consultations with a very wise behaviourist when you can, and a hard-eyed assessment of the situation is needed.
In the meantime total separation.
You're all adjusting to a whole new life - at three months you're still very new to being a mum at all.
I'd suggest upping the training/interaction time with your dog whilst baby is sleeping. Basic obedience, puzzle toys or hide kibble/treats in cardboard boxes, sniffing games in the garden, another short lunchtime walk - do you have a sling or carrier? I found it quite difficult to walk a young dog and a pram.
Also concentrate on training him to chill/relax on his own, with a kong or chew or antler or something - build up the time he is happy being left on his own so it's not just him being physically separated, it is a part of your routine.