please someone comfort me.

(26 Posts)
trimtops Fri 27-Mar-20 18:14:39

Hi, I have been here for years, but never posted, my dog and I have always been ok, until now.

She had to be put to sleep just 2 Fridays ago, I am just devastated, I miss her so much, especially as now I have to isolate myself for the the next 12 weeks. Even tho she was the stroppiest dog in the world, I loved her so.

This is what I am trying to get to grips with.
She was put to sleep on Friday March 13th

And I got her ashes back today March 27th
The card with her ashes read that she was cremated on March 25th. Which is only 2 days ago. I specifically asked that she would be cremated on her own, which the card said she was.

But I live in the west midlands. The card and her box of ashes came from hertfordshire
In 2 days, how can these ashes be hers?

Do you understand what I'm asking?

Are these ashes really hers? I can't get to grips with the time line.

OP’s posts: |
pontiouspilates Fri 27-Mar-20 18:18:57

I am so sorry for your loss, we lost our dog a year ago and it is devestating. I don't know the answer to your question, but I am sure that these places have good, respectful practices in place. flowers

BiteyShark Fri 27-Mar-20 18:26:57

Op I am so sorry thanks

I can't answer your specific question as I don't know but there may be a perfectly good reason for the timeline. Would phoning the crematorium help put your fears at rest?.

They bring so much joy to your life that it also means they leave a large dog shaped hole in your heart thanks

TemoraryUsername Fri 27-Mar-20 18:30:53

So sorry for your loss flowers

Cremated 25th, posted 26th arrived 27th. The timeline works as far as I'm concerned.

Pet crematoriums are few and far between, the waiting period until she was cremated isn't a concern either imo. 2 weeks is quite a short lead time, If my memory serves me well 6-8 weeks was how long we waited for ours who died a year ago.

TimeIhadaNameChange Fri 27-Mar-20 18:37:35

She will have been cremated in her own, it will be illegal for them to have done otherwise. I know because I took two rabbits at the same time and I asked that they be cremated individually and this was the answer, that even if I asked for them to be done together they couldn't be.

And she'll have been frozen in the meantime.

If you have any questions I can pass them on to the people who run the one I use. I've become good friends with them, strangely enough!

Topseyt Fri 27-Mar-20 18:42:20

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

I had to have my elderly labrador put to sleep last November and it is still very painful. I am only now starting to accept it a bit. I understand your devastation. They are family members.

I am no expert on cremation, but I think the timeline you describe sounds plausible. Call the crematorium if you need to.

Perhaps some pet crematoria are short staffed or shut down due to the current coronavirus crisis, so fewer operating and therefore the cremation was done at one further afield.

If a courier or volunteer driver was used to return the ashes to you then I would think it fairly possible that the timeline fits.

I am just suggesting possibilities though. I am no expert.

trimtops Fri 27-Mar-20 18:43:45

BiteyShark I can't call the crematorium as I can barely say her name without the tears. they might think I'm an idiot.

TemoraryUsername I know I sound insane, but wouldn't she be still warm?

sorry, I sound bonkers don't I?

OP’s posts: |


Floralnomad Fri 27-Mar-20 18:46:45

At the pet crem we use ( Kent) the ashes are back next day or the day after for individual cremations . Was yours arranged through the vet OP if so perhaps you could start by asking them . Sorry for your loss .

TimeIhadaNameChange Fri 27-Mar-20 18:47:15

You don't sound bookers OP, just very sad and stressed.

The place I go to have offered that I pick up the remains a few hours later, so it's quite feasible that they could have been picked up by the courier either on the 25th or the 26th.

Hotwaterbottlelove Fri 27-Mar-20 18:47:23

They won't think you are an idiot. They will be kind.

I think the timeline sounds possible.

Topseyt Fri 27-Mar-20 18:48:13

No, I don't think she would still have been warm. I think the timeline fits.

trimtops Fri 27-Mar-20 18:48:39

here she is , an hour before

OP’s posts: |
BiteyShark Fri 27-Mar-20 18:51:09

Totally understand you not feeling up to calling. Do you have any friends or family that could do that for you? Or maybe an email as you could take your time to compose it. I think if you are worrying about it then getting answers will help a bit with that so you can grieve knowing that she is with you.

And none of us think you are bonkers thanks

Topseyt Fri 27-Mar-20 18:52:45

You are definitely NOT bonkers though.

Never underestimate the strength of feelings that you get when a much loved dog died. I literally felt it as a physical pain and thought at times that I would go mad. It is normal to feel like that.

Topseyt Fri 27-Mar-20 18:54:05

I love the picture. She was a lovely girl.

billhubbard Fri 27-Mar-20 18:54:31

She's beautiful op
I'm so sorry for your loss , it's so bloody hard .
Sorry but I can't say it gets any easier., I desperately miss our boy that was pts 6 years ago . I believe in the rainbow bridge and pray I will meet him again .
In answer to your question we picked up boys ashes from vets and it said he was cremated 2 days before so same timeline as your girl 💐

OnceUponAMidnightBeery Fri 27-Mar-20 18:55:41

Oh sweetheart, I understand. Will be facing the same thing with my beloved ‘soul dog’ (to steal another posters phrase) very soon.

If the cremation was arranged through your vets, I would contact them first, maybe by email if you’re like me and unable to talk properly about something like this by phone. They should be able to advise you on the timeline or refer you to the cremationers, again, contact them by email.

Again, so very sorry flowers

wheresthehope Fri 27-Mar-20 18:59:01

I am so sorry for your loss especially at this time.
I had a young dog get salmonella a few years ago and had to be pts. I was beyond devastated like had very bad thoughts, couldn’t sleep or eat for many weeks. I knew I was being completely irrational but I missed her so so much.
Please know it does get easier and you will feel like yourself again. Allow yourself to grieve and people do and will understand flowers

OnceUponAMidnightBeery Fri 27-Mar-20 18:59:08

You are NOT bonkers, we all understand. Such a beautiful girl ❤️

ALovelyBitOfSquirrel Fri 27-Mar-20 19:03:51

Oh my love I’m so sorry. I know how it feels, happened to one of ours a couple of months ago. Every time we lose it hits me incredibly hard. It’s devastating. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to cry and grieve in your own way and in your own time. It’s an extreme loss. Never let anyone tell you different.

Scattyhattie Fri 27-Mar-20 19:08:58

My vets used a cremation company that collected once a fortnight and the deceased were kept in cold storage/freezer till then much as would be humans. I ended up taking my dogs to a local crematorium instead and the ashes were ready to collect following day, so the timeline seems OK.
You could ask your vets if it was a service they offered.

Kordelia Fri 27-Mar-20 19:09:08

What a very beautiful girl.

It will get better, honestly. Give yourself time to grieve for her.

Scattyhattie Fri 27-Mar-20 19:22:53

I somehow deleted part of my post

I'm so sorry for your loss, Its really hard & not all understand how important animals can be or the void they leave behind. I think part of the grief process is to have various 'what if's?' as you try to get your mind round it, I've had it after each dog I've lost.

trimtops Sat 28-Mar-20 20:22:20

Hi, here I am again, may I just say thank you to you all that messaged me. I truly appreciate your kindness.

After a sleepless night worrying about this, I am going to accept that these are Bugs ashes. She is not really called Bug, it was her nickname because she was a Little Bugger. I had a friend who called her flatcoat Nora, as in Bloody Nora.

Anyway, tomorrow I am going to open the box and let her go. Into the wind and set her free. With her bunny hop way of trundling round the land, her cocker yips and skips and whoo hoos, I'll miss her so, but I will let her go.

Leaving The Doghouse now, give your dogs a hug from us. x

OP’s posts: |
TemoraryUsername Sun 29-Mar-20 20:41:14

Big love to you. Sorry I didn't see your reply question to me, but I see somebody else has answered - I agree with them, I think the timeline still works.

Big hugs - she looks like a gorgeous fluffy soul flowers

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