How long until you were ready for another dog?

(25 Posts)
Ifeel1000yearsold Mon 24-Feb-20 22:42:44

Our beautiful 14 year old girl passed away this month. She was my first dog and I adored her. My children would like another dog and I love dogs myself but I don’t feel ready and am not sure I ever will be. I feel like a new dog just won’t be the same and I’ll compare her with our old dog which wouldn’t be fair.
I’d love to hear other experiences of how long people waited and whether they got the same type or dog.

OP’s posts: |
Motorina Mon 24-Feb-20 22:59:46

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My old girl died 6th Feb 2019. The new pup came home April 19th. She was born just over two weeks after my old girl died.

To be honest, it was far sooner than I would have done on my own, but my other dog was in total meltdown as a sole dog. But once she was home it felt right.

She's very definitely her own character. She's the same breed and colour-way as my old girl, and also quite closely related (KC registered so I know). I can see resemblances, which is comforting rather than jarring. I certainly don't compare them in the way you're worried about.

I did struggle sometimes with the bittersweetness of it. New girl is awesome and I love her, but she wouldn't be mine if my old girl hadn't of died. That's emotionally tough. We've had some tearful moments. But she's still awesome.

My experience is that hearts are elastic. They can stretch to make room for a new love, without compromising the old. But there's no right or wrong for when you're ready.

DramaAlpaca Mon 24-Feb-20 23:06:00

I'm sorry about your lovely old girl flowers

My experience is very similar to Motorina. Lost our old lady in April and the new pup, same breed but male, came home in July. Funnily enough, new pup was born just a couple of weeks after old girl died too.

We started looking very soon because our other dog was bereft. New pup slotted right in and other dog was happy to have a companion again.

We have no regrets at all.

Katypyee Mon 24-Feb-20 23:38:05

I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved girl. Dogs leave such a huge hole in our hearts when they go.

I totally understand your pain. We said goodbye to our 16 year old boy in August. It was truly devastating and I miss him so much every day.

However, I also missed having a dog. We waited 3 months and adopted a rescue (our old boy was a rescue too). It is different and not the same. It took me a while to warm to her even though it was me who instigated the adoption. I felt guilt.

Now I love her dearly and accept she is a completely different dog and not the same but that is okay and we love having a dog in our household again.

You will know when it feels right for you to welcome another dog into your heart.

TheoneandObi Mon 24-Feb-20 23:48:36

We lost our dearest darlingest dog in August 2018. He was our first and was honestly my shadow and third child after the actual children left home. Heartbroken doesn't even get close. I still come across photos of him and my heart skips and my eyes well up. But I also smile.
We did get another dog, a pup On Xmas eve that year. It was just the way the dates fell with the litter. The children were home for Xmas, and our family somehow felt complete again.
New pup is still shaping up, and I often tell him he's still
Working towards being the great dog his predecessor was. But no regrets

Jenda Mon 24-Feb-20 23:57:22

our girl died in the December and we were matched with a rescue in February. we didn't expect to get another one but our younger dog had never lived without a friend and she was bereft. New dog is totally different to old so we never really felt like we were filling a gap. She is very lovely and has fitted in beautifully.

Fuppy Tue 25-Feb-20 00:32:26

My old boy died in September 2016. I'm still heart broken and haven't got another one.

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MovinOnUp Tue 25-Feb-20 00:53:30

My darling GSD died in May 2018.
We had rescued a dog from Spain a few months beforehand and she was distraught after my old girl went and we decided to re-home her (to a family that had multiple dogs) as I was adamant that I would never, ever put myself through the heartbreak of another dog.

Almost two years on and I am now in a place where I am hoping to get another dog this year.
I think it really depends on the individual, Some need to fill that void immediately while others need more time.

annonymousse Tue 25-Feb-20 01:17:58

Lost my old girl in jan 2011 and found my new girl April 2013. Totally different breeds. Absolutely besotted with my lovely girl but will always miss my old lady.

Girlintheframe Tue 25-Feb-20 05:59:08

We lost our lab in January 2018. Didn't think we wanted another dog either. We decided to wait 6 months before even thinking about another. By the June of that year we decided we definitely did want another dog and by end of August we got our pup. Completely different breed. Its only now, 18 months later that I would consider another lab if we were to get a 2nd dog. I felt our lab was so perfect I would always be comparing the new lab to him.

Ifeel1000yearsold Tue 25-Feb-20 07:36:51

Thanks for sharing your experiences. I think I’ll give myself more time to grieve for my girl and put off a decision until later in the year.

OP’s posts: |
TooTrueToBeGood Tue 25-Feb-20 07:44:54

My last dog's passing broke my heart. It hurt more than I could have imagined and I swore I would never go through that again. It also felt that getting another dog would have been some kind of betrayal. About a year later though and my wife and daughter started pushing for another dog. I held out for a few months but eventually caved. He's 4 in 2 weeks. He is my absolute world. My wee brother, best mate and counsellor all rolled into one.

Sorry for your loss. Get another dog when you feel ready. There are no rules.

makingmyway10 Tue 25-Feb-20 08:03:00

So sorry for your loss, it is truly heartbreaking when you lose your soulmate.
I lost my old girl in the Summer of 2018 she was 10 and had cancer but the end was sudden and shocking. I grieved like I never had before, I stayed in the house for two weeks, I did not sleep or eat. I was truly heartbroken. For the first few months I said I could never have another dog, it would feel like a betrayal and I would never find a dog as good as my old girl.
After about four months, I began to think about another dog, it still felt a little bit wrong but my house was not a home without a dog and I really missed having a dog. I could never replace her but I had a dog shaped hole to fill.

We waited a year in the end as I work in a school and decided that I needed the long Summer break to stay home with a new puppy, house train, and bond together. Could not contemplate getting a puppy and going straight to work (albeit part time).

We met our new girl in May at four weeks old and it was love at first sight. She cam home at the beginning of the school holidays. She is now 10 months old and I can not imagine life without her! She could not ever fill my old girls paws but we love her for her.

You do need some time to grieve I think and you will know when the time is right for your family. For some people that is weeks and others months for us it was a year. smile

loveliesbleeding1 Tue 25-Feb-20 10:34:16

We lost our old girl aged 17 in May 2019, we felt lost without a dog in the house.Our new girl pup came to us in September 2019,she’s a different breed,size and colour and I think that helps.

MasakaBuzz Tue 25-Feb-20 10:44:29

I lost my cat to cancer in October. I still miss her. However the opportunity came up in November for a Bengal, and so Lucifer joined the household.

I still miss Buzz, and always will. I frequently say to Lucifer that he is my favourite living cat, but not my favourite cat ever. It makes me feel good to acknowledge Buzz, and I know Lucifer hasn’t got a clue what I am saying, so it doesn’t matter to him.

He is a very different cat, but still has that “up yours“ arrogance of cats, which I love.

I dread the day the dog goes, but in her case she is a Romanian Rescue. Her years with me have been a bonus for her. I don’t doubt the vacancy that will be generated by her, will be filled.

PrincessHoneysuckle Tue 25-Feb-20 10:53:39

Less than a week.I was devastated and I hated the house being so "quiet" iykwim.We got another dog of a totally different breed so we wouldnt compare it to our beloved dog that had passed.It gave me something to focus on although this approach isnt for everyone.

HarrietBasset Tue 25-Feb-20 12:55:02

I'm so sorry sad
I lost my 13 year old girl on Christmas eve 2018....we bought our puppy home in November 2019. I definitely needed some time to really grieve. New pup is a very different dog and I chose a different breed with that in mind and I've bonded with her totally though of course miss my old dog and occasionally have pangs of guilt. You'll know when the time is right but give yourself a little time to work through your loss x

Imonaplane Wed 26-Feb-20 13:39:27

I lost my beautiful girl in 2013. I lasted a week with the house feeling empty before I started to look for another. I managed to find a pup that had become available and she was home with us 11 days after my girl died. Same breed. I really think it helped me with. my grief but I understand that everyone is different.

Catsrus Wed 26-Feb-20 14:02:07

longest I've managed without one (in 30+ yrs) is two weeks.

They are all different, they don't replace the dog that dies, but they fill a dog shaped hole in your life. Some are very special and it's OK to acknowledge that I think - I lost a dog 20yrs ago that no other dog has got close to replacing - but I've loved them and each has brought it's own joys.

Grieve yes, but allow yourself the joy of another dog.

Wincarnis Wed 26-Feb-20 15:09:51

Mine died in June last year, I started looking for another dog around Christmas. I thought I wanted the same breed, but then saw something completely different (and twice the size) in the local shelter.....he really took my fancy, and I picked him up yesterday!

Pringlesonthetable Wed 26-Feb-20 15:48:48

We lost our old boy in Oct 2017, we got our beautiful girl a year ago an 8 week old pup from a rescue shelter. After our boy passed away we swore never again, it was heart wrenching. In time though we found we missed having a dog around. We both adore our girl and don't find ourselves comparing them. Different breeds, both were crosses but different.

fluffysocksgoodbookwine Fri 28-Feb-20 17:52:12

We waited a year before we felt ready. Our old dog died young (aged 6yrs) of lymphoma, and we were really upset by his rapid deterioration and death.
Our current dog is old dog's great niece. She's lovely, and a wonderful part of the family, but I couldn't have coped with a new puppy when I was still missing my old boy so much!
Whenever feels right for you is the right time. There's no rush!

Abraid2 Fri 28-Feb-20 17:54:43

On one occasion, three days. Didn’t replace the pup we lost and never will but we have loved her very much in her own right.

littleMillie Wed 11-Mar-20 10:49:25

Hi
How about fostering a dog? Although you have to say goodbye to them and it can be hard work, it might help you decide whether you’re ready to have another permanently and it’s so rewarding, plus if you become attached to the dog you’ll have first refusal of a forever home.

VetOnCall Wed 11-Mar-20 12:32:49

Everyone is different, some people have to fill the dog-shaped hole in their homes the next day and others take years. I lost my own boy 4 years ago and still don't feel ready to replace him with another boy; I don't know if I ever will. I have other, female dogs (who I utterly adore) but he was the only best boy.

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