How can I be more assertive with the vet? Re: dog pts

(21 Posts)
Horcrux Sun 26-Jan-20 09:24:04

I have been to the vet twice now to arrange for my dog to be pts. He is old and sore, suffering from seizures, incontinence and just generally miserable.
But each time I explain this to the vet she just suggests blood tests, pain killer and hydrotherapy.
How can I be more assertive with her?

OP’s posts: |
Raindancer411 Sun 26-Jan-20 09:27:12

If you are sure it's for the best why not try a different vet and see is they agree? You don't have to stick with the same vets.

It's never a nice thing to have to do, I am sorry sad

Horcrux Sun 26-Jan-20 09:29:13

Do they have to agree? Or do they just take your word for it? I’m worried they don’t agree as he is happy when he sees the vet

OP’s posts: |
BiteyShark Sun 26-Jan-20 09:37:22

Move vets.

I have taken mine when he has been very ill, young dog so different circumstances but they always listen to me when I say he isn't himself and the wagging and looking happy is him trying to appease them. They totally get it and even say to me they are good at masking how they really feel when they are at the vets.

You know your dog the best. You are their advocate and if you feel he is suffering then you know it's the right thing. Please see another vet or maybe contact a practice that will come out to you anyway to PTS.

thanksfor you as this is hard enough without having to try and justify it sad

frostedviolets Sun 26-Jan-20 11:31:00

Different vet.
Don't even bother trying with this one.

BronteSisters Sun 26-Jan-20 11:38:30

I'd change vets too. Some will drag it out and you'll be paying obscene amounts of money to them. It's uncommon but not unheard of. Most good vets have the animal's welfare and quality of life as top priority.

A friend's pet was kept going for a long time living a sad, half life because it was insured. The moment the insurance ran out or stopped for whatever reason the vet suddenly recommended it was PTS even though they didn't know my friend could easily afford to keep the "treatments" going herself.

Change vets and get another opinion.

Crispaficionado Sun 26-Jan-20 18:13:00

yes definitely change vets, you know your dog best. You need to because even if you got this one to agree she may make you feel bad when you are trying to do the right thing.

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Hovverry Mon 27-Jan-20 19:47:01

It’s a sad fact that some vets are more interested in their income than an old pet’s quality of life. It’s incredibly hard to say you want your old friend pts when the vet wants to do tests and treatment. Just say that you know it’s time.

Twooter Mon 27-Jan-20 22:16:57

Hovverry - most vets have No financial incentive for individual cases. It’s not fun putting animals to sleep, even more so if they come in wagging their tails and looking happy, and you think there is medication that could improve their life quality.

OP - either change vets if you’re not happy, or phone and explain that you have made up your mind, your dog is definitely in need of euthanasia, no matter how he presents himself, that you are finding it hard enough so don’t want your decision questioned further.

Patchworksack Mon 27-Jan-20 22:27:12

How are you phrasing it? If you say 'I want my dog PTS' then I'm unlikely to argue with you unless the dog is 2 yrs old and the picture of health. If you say 'I'm worried about his quality of life' then I will assess what the issues are and what available treatments could potentially help. Did you already try anti-epileptic meds or painkillers? If you don't want to try the suggested treatment that's entirely your call but in that case you need to own the decision to PTS, not ask the vet what they think is best.

DramaAlpaca Mon 27-Jan-20 22:35:36

You need to be clear & assertive with the vet and tell them you are sure your dog has reached the end of the road, that you don't want to put him through any more treatment and that it's time to let him go.

From your description I think you are right, and are being brave and caring enough to put the welfare of your dog before your own feelings. In your situation I'd be telling the vet that I felt my dog has had enough. I have done this myself a couple of times now, it's not easy but necessary. You know your old boy best flowers

Floralnomad Mon 27-Jan-20 22:41:43

She probably thinks she’s helping by making alternative suggestions , why when she made the suggestions didn’t you just say no , we feel that it’s not fair to put him through anymore treatment and we want him pts .

frostedviolets Mon 27-Jan-20 22:41:57

most vets have No financial incentive for individual cases. It’s not fun putting animals to sleep, even more so if they come in wagging their tails and looking happy, and you think there is medication that could improve their life quality

Some vets are awful and absolutely do not act in the animals best interest.

DMs very elderly cat being a good example.
Almost 20 years old, struggling to toilet properly, constantly thirsty, constantly hungry to the point of all day crying and attacking people, super thin.

We all knew it should be PTS, the vet insisted on monthly blood tests and expensive medication which made no difference whatsoever.

DM was vulnerable as her husband had just died, the vet made her feel terrible and cruel when she tried to explain that she couldn't really afford the blood tests and medication on a widows pension.

The poor sod was kept alive, suffering, until it had some sort of stroke or neurological event and couldn't walk when the vet finally PTS.

Garyrvn1 Tue 28-Jan-20 09:16:04

This is a very sad time for you and letting go isn't easy. Your vet would want to give you all the options. At the end of the day he is your dog and therefore take responsibility for the decision of this nature. Therefore you should say to your vet that you think its time and tell them what you want for the best interest of your dog as you know them better. Euthanasia is especially hard on vets who are often left with the emotional guilt from owners for making this decision. Hence the highest suicide rate of any profession and vastly underpaid compared to their human counterparts. There is no need to be forceful just have an open conversation with your vet at tell them of you and your families decision.

Crispaficionado Tue 28-Jan-20 11:26:14

Dog insurance needs to improve really, so much of the vet/owner friction is because of people having to pay out of pocket for un-budgeted-for expenses.

FoamingAtTheUterus Tue 28-Jan-20 11:29:59

Move vets. My auntie had this with her poor old dog. The poor thing had no quality of life, but of course the never ending treatment was money on tap for the vet.

bengalcat Tue 28-Jan-20 11:32:44

Seek a second opinion from a different vet at the same surgery or try another surgery . Good luck with your doggie .

Horcrux Fri 31-Jan-20 22:30:52

Thank you for your replies. I am confident that the vet practice is good, it has a great reputation. It’ll be me most likely not being assertive enough. I will try your take @Twooter, thankyou.

He’s had two seizures today, which has only ever happened once. He’s been feeling woozy ever since, unsteady on his feet...
He’s a tall dog (deerhound), and very clingy. I’m feeling really sorry for him tonight, he’s sleeping with me (squashing me!)
They’ve not put him on seizure meds but gave us diazepam for during/after.

OP’s posts: |
Theresahairbrushinthefridge Fri 31-Jan-20 22:37:19

With me it helped to phone them. Have the conversation over the phone. Then bring the pet in to be PTS.

I was able to be more assertive that way.

Twooter Fri 31-Jan-20 23:16:30

So sorry that you’re going through this Horcrux. It’s such a hard decision to make.

Nearlyoldenoughtowearpurple Fri 31-Jan-20 23:24:12

When you phone to make the appointment, tell the receptionist that you want to have him put to sleep. They will make you a longer appointment at a quiet time ( hopefully) , plus the vet will know your wishes in advance and be ready to help you with your decision.
I suspect it is just a communication issue and because he looks perkier there, which they often do, your vet isn’t thinking along those lines and is trying to improve his quality of life , thinking that’s what you want.
Horrible time for you, hope it all goes well and sounds like you are making the right decision x

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