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I think today is the day. Worried I'm not making the right choice.

(56 Posts)
Carrotcakeforbreakfast Fri 03-Jan-20 08:43:38

I am torn at the moment. And I feel horrendous.

I have a 16 year old Staffie who was in the summer diagnosed with kidney disease. She was stage 2/3 and the first thing we noticed was that she was drinking a lot which we put down to the heat we had over the summer.
We have done everything the vets have suggested.
She is on fortekor, I cook her a renal diet and give her supplements.

She was doing okay not as sprightly as she once was but not surprising considering her age.
Despite everything we have been doing her bloods keep showing progression and no stabilising the disease. In fact her last bloods showed that she now also has potential problems with her liver and a increased calcium which the vet says could be an underlying malignancy. We refused any further tests and decided just to keep her comfortable at home.

The past few days she has been quiet, she has loose bowels and just sleeps all of the time. We are having to tempt her to eat and she is drinking so much water.
When she goes outside to the garden she stands looking lost and forlorn. She always used to be a run out, wee and back in as quick as she could kind of girl.
She sleeps with me and last night she wet the bed and was lay in her own wee sad
This has happened before but something just seems different this time and I think she is going downhill.

I've called into work and was about to call the vets and ask for a home visit to let her go and she wont get better, she is terminal and I don't want her to suffer. Despite all that I have written I do not think she is suffering.

However what I'm finding really conflicting and is making me think im doing the wrong thing is that she still gets so excited to see us.
Yesterday my eldest dc came home and she was like a puppy again. Running all over the place and jumping.
It is short lived and she was back on her bed but I just hate to think she is still happy and I'm calling it. I'm dreading the vet getting her and her jumping up to greet her.

What can I do? I am upset, yet resigned, frightened yet relieved, heartbroken but proud and honoured that I have had her so long.
I don't want it to be a second too late
But equally I don't want it to be a second too early.

OP’s posts: |
xoxoluna Fri 03-Jan-20 08:48:07

I'm so sorry. Seeing a pet failing is so heartbreaking. I had to put my dog down a few years ago and it was the most difficult thing I had to go through. What got me through is acknowledging that his quality of life is deteriorating and not improving.

Ask yourself this question: how is her quality of life right now?

It's not an easy choice, but just know that your pup has lived a lovely long life with you and your family and you did all you could to give her a happy life. flowers

Carrotcakeforbreakfast Fri 03-Jan-20 08:55:07

Her quality of life is getting worse and will continue to do so
I lost a cat to the same disease and know how horrific and fast the end can be. I don't want that to happen to her.

I'm scared to pick the phone up and call because what if I am wrong.
The bad days are more than the good days now and while she isnt suffering. Her zest for life isn't there. She just sleeps really.

I don't know what has changed as she has been like this for a couple of weeks now but something with me has changed. I just feel like I've suddenly gone no. That is it now and I don't know why I suddenly think that and I'm worried as to why I suddenly think that.

OP’s posts: |
Screamqueenz Fri 03-Jan-20 08:59:01

I'm sorry you are going through this, but you are doing what is right for her.
It sounds like you know in your heart of hearts but it's such a difficult thing to so that you are questioning yourself.
Be strong for her, it does sound like it's time.

feliciabirthgiver Fri 03-Jan-20 09:05:35

When you know you know and the fact that you have written this post means in your heart of hearts you know. Repay all those years of kindness and loyalty and do the one thing you can for your DDog. It's heartbreaking I know thanks

Chelonia Fri 03-Jan-20 09:06:39

Vet nurse here. Over the years I have seen many many people regret leaving making this decision too late, and look back knowing they kept their dear friend hanging on for too long because they were so scared to go through the awful pain of losing them. I've recently had to make this decision for my own beloved pet and I won't lie, the grief is horrendous and almost overwhelming. I'm so sorry that you have to do this. Personally one of my "cut off" points is if they become incontinent, not only is it wet smelly and sore for them but our good boys and girls are so ashamed of having wet themselves inside, they know they mustn't toilet inside and they can get quite distressed knowing that they have, so for me if they're distressed by it then the decision to let them keep their dignity should be made soon.
As a rule I would say that if you're considering putting a pet to sleep and worried about whether it's the right thing to do then it probably is - only loving devoted owners would be losing sleep over this decision. How lovely that you have such a nice memory of her with your DC to keep flowers

BiteyShark Fri 03-Jan-20 09:07:01

So sorry OP, it does sound like it's time thanks

Carrotcakeforbreakfast Fri 03-Jan-20 09:18:53

Thank you for your replies.

She has just had some breakfast and seemed to enjoy it.
Vets have been called and they're calling me back in an hour. They've left space in the diary for later.

I think because she isn't suffering or at least I don't think she is it is making it harder. But I don't want to see her suffer at all, and she definitely has gone downhill this last couple of weeks.

OP’s posts: |
Sooverthemill Fri 03-Jan-20 09:25:56

@carrotcake I'm so sorry. Horrendous decision to have to make but I think you know it's the right one.
We put to sleep our first dog aged 5 as he had terminal cancer and once he started taking himself away from the kids and was grumpy and sad we knew it was time. We held him and told him how much we loved him. It's all you can do. I am dreading the decision for our current dog aged 11 who is showing signs ( weeping and pooing overnight and this week in the sitting room in day time, he looked so upset) but is still very much enjoying walks and cuddles

Huge huge hugs . You love him. You are a good owner

Carrotcakeforbreakfast Fri 03-Jan-20 09:29:15

She still loves her cuddles too

Vets have called they can't do a home visit until Tuesday. We can take her there at 11 but that seems too soon. And she hates going to the vet.

She just came in and lay under the Christmas tree. She just looks fed up.

OP’s posts: |
bluerad Fri 03-Jan-20 09:48:36

When I was in this position I was comforted by my vet who said 'better a few days early than a few days too late' ie don't wait until they are in horrendous pain. Such a difficult decision though.

AllTheUserNamesAreTaken Fri 03-Jan-20 09:49:54

I’m so sorry op, it must be an horrendous decision to make. DDog is almost 11 and was really stiff after a day playing on the beach last week - really brought it home that he’s getting older now

There is a vet company who specialise in home visits so they may be able to come sooner but it depends if you would prefer your known vet

AllTheUserNamesAreTaken Fri 03-Jan-20 09:52:59

This is the company op


Carrotcakeforbreakfast Fri 03-Jan-20 09:53:05

We are taking her there.
I don't want to as she doesn't like going
But she seems fed up and weak I cannot leave it until Tuesday as she deserves more than that.

OP’s posts: |
Carrotcakeforbreakfast Fri 03-Jan-20 09:54:19

I think it would be best there as despite not liking it.
The vet knows her and she knows the vet.

OP’s posts: |
velocitygirl7 Fri 03-Jan-20 09:56:16

You've made the right decision, however heartbreaking it is.
Thinking of you thanks

Fishflame Fri 03-Jan-20 09:58:30

So sorry.. thanks

AllTheUserNamesAreTaken Fri 03-Jan-20 09:59:46

You are doing the right thing for your beloved dog. Huge hugs op.

LanternLighter Fri 03-Jan-20 10:00:27

It is the most horrendous thing you will have to do but it’s also the last thing you need to do for her as her loving mum and friend.
You will have done so much for her in her long life and this is the final her peace and rest. Sending you hugs flowers

Fleetheart Fri 03-Jan-20 10:01:13

Very sad for you. Sounds like the right thing though. Better a day too early than a day too late. It shows how much you love her flowers

Sooverthemill Fri 03-Jan-20 11:09:41

I'm sorry.

MrsPMT Fri 03-Jan-20 11:14:58

Sorry flowers
From what you've said you are doing the right thing, it's very hard.

FrangipaniBlue Fri 03-Jan-20 11:18:47

OP you're doing the right thing.

I lost my old girl coming up 2 years ago and if I'm honest we left it a week too long. She was like yours - occasional bursts of excitement but more bad days than good and truthfully the outbursts I always felt were "to please us".

DH wouldn't take her so we waited but she went downhill fast (literally less that 12hrs) and I spent her last night sitting up with her because she couldn't get up anymore.

The vet came out in the morning and while I don't believe she suffered in pain she had definitely had enough.


Carrotcakeforbreakfast Fri 03-Jan-20 13:19:32

She has gone.

I stayed with her and lay next to her.

She wanted to leave the vets when we got there was was jumping up me and the door
And now that is all I can think.

At home she was barely moving and fed up but just the occasional excitable outburst
I feel hurt and I've cried a lot
But I feel a strange sense of calm too.

OP’s posts: |
Carrotcakeforbreakfast Fri 03-Jan-20 13:20:09

Which in turn is making me feel guilty too.

OP’s posts: |

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