Should I re home our lovely dog?

(18 Posts)
milkysmum Sun 10-Nov-19 11:11:11

We have a 5 year old pug cross shittzu. We have had her 4 years when we took her in following her previous owner sadly dyeing.
At that time I was still with my husband and he took responsibility for most of the walks etc.
Fast forward to now and I am now separated and trying to continue caring for our dog alongside having two primary school aged children and working full time. I have a cat flap in the back door so she can come in and out but I am feeling increasingly sad about how much time she is having to spend alone during the day. We leave the house at 8.30 and are not back in till 5.30. Several evenings the children have hobbies, same on weekends.
I have had a friend of a friend say she could take her in, give her a good home, be in during the day with her etc.. I have talked to the children and they got upset and started crying, said I could not possibly give our dog away. I feel so torn, we love her so much but would she be happier somewhere else? Any advice welcome

OP’s posts: |
nethunsinthatway Sun 10-Nov-19 11:16:11

I have a Shih tzu cross and the thing is, they love company - so it would be better if your friend can take her. Sad situation though and appreciate it must be really difficult.

Bunnybigears Sun 10-Nov-19 11:18:04

Can the friend not doggy sit during the day rather than actually take the dog as her own.

hairyheadphones Sun 10-Nov-19 11:18:06

It’s really unfair for her to be in her own for so many hours. I would either rehome if you trust the person who has offered to take her on and believe she will have a better life there or look at dog daycare (which will be expensive).

msmith501 Sun 10-Nov-19 11:18:55

I understand your children will be upset but it's a gentle lesson in doing the right thing and they will be still be able to visit and see the dog I suspect 😀

milkysmum Sun 10-Nov-19 11:19:00

She really really loves company yes. All she ever wants to do is curl up on someone's lap for a cuddle. I feel so sad thinking of her on her own all day, but then will the children get over me giving their pet away? sad

OP’s posts: |
FreeBedForFlys Sun 10-Nov-19 11:20:28

Do the right thing by the dog. The children will suffer less than the dog is suffering now.


Costacoffeeplease Sun 10-Nov-19 11:21:12

It’s a life lesson for them, in doing the right thing

nethunsinthatway Sun 10-Nov-19 11:22:54

The only other thing is - how old are your children? Old enough to take her out and spend time with her on their own? Old enough to choose between their hobbies and taking the dog out?

Mrsjayy Sun 10-Nov-19 11:23:54

Could you ask your friend to dog sit then transition to her keeping the dog ? Then your kids won't be too upset then they will see how happy dog is at friends as you realise it isn't fair to keep her for a few hours in the evening.

Sistercharlie Sun 10-Nov-19 11:26:23

Oh what an awful dilemma op. Sorry you are in this situation flowers

Ultimately, you have to do what is best for the dog. It will be very hard for your dc but I am sure they will understand in the future that you are putting the animal's welfare first and that that's the right thing to do. It's a good life lesson actually. Would the potential new owner be willing to let the dc visit the dog occasionally?

I am assuming that a daily dog walker is not possible right now? Even then it's a long time for the dog to be alone.

milkysmum Sun 10-Nov-19 16:39:48

No dog walker is not an option, I just couldn't afford that unfortunately.
I know I need to prioritise my dogs happiness here, and I agree an important life lesson for all.

OP’s posts: |
Maneandfeathers Sun 10-Nov-19 17:14:36

Yes i would rehome in this situation without a doubt. It happened to me as a child actually, my grandmother took our dog as he was so sad alone. He had a much better life and i can see that now but was upset as a child.

It must be sad for the poor dog being alone for most of her life. The children will understand one day.

Nettleskeins Sun 10-Nov-19 17:35:13

what about asking the children if they want to reduce their hobbies? And save the cost from that to pay for dog walker 3 times a week? Or ask a teenager to come in and take dog after school for two hours (a teen that lives nearby and has school till 3pm)

There are solutions that involve paying small amounts of money and solutions that involve doing less with the children in eves and weekends. A dog is a hobby and a very valuable one, gets them outdoors etc.

I think you need to discuss it with the children.

I would be worried that the friend of a friend might not know as much about dog ownership as she thinks, and then pass dog on again. Whereas if you stay the owner and can in some way tailor her care you are looking after her better.

Motorina Sun 10-Nov-19 17:41:03

Nettleskeins says what I was thinking. If the kids are bereft at losing the dog are they prepared to sacrifice their hobbies to improve her quality of life?

Nettleskeins Sun 10-Nov-19 17:42:33

It just concerns me that you have no idea what is going to happen in the friend of a friend's life. For all you know she may not be at home all day in a year's time, and your dog will be back in where he started, alone all day.

simplekindoflife Sun 10-Nov-19 18:05:28

Could you not dog share? Friend has dog in the week, with you at the weekend?

rookiemere Mon 11-Nov-19 22:27:23

I think rehoming is best for your dog - I'd want to spend some time with the potential new owner and see how she is with ddog and make sure it's as solid an option as it can be.

Yes the DCs will be sad, but I don't think it's right or realistic to expect them to give up their hobbies to pay for a dog walker.

Would it be possible to stay in touch and see ddog sometimes and perhaps cover for holidays?

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