"But he's friendly"

[Sayhellotothethings]

Sorry but it's a rant.

Was out with my dog, DH, and pram. Strange dog runs up to ddog several times and starts growling. Ddog was on a lead because the area was busy with children.

After the third time, I shouted to the owner to call their dog away please, because I don't want growling dogs running up to him and also didn't know if he was growling at him or the pram.

Owner was unable to recall their dog and said "but he's friendly, not vicious or I wouldn't let him off. He is asking to play" (he wasn't, he was actually guarding something that was in his mouth). Got a bit funny with me for requesting that her dog leaves us alone.

1. Why let your dog run up to a leashed dog?
   
2. Why not just apologise? It may have been out of character for her dog, but that's fine. It actually ran over again later without the thing in its mouth and was ok.
   
3. Why let your dog off in a busy area if it won't come back? Ours bas solid recall but as a rule, he stays on lead around areas busy with children, because it's not fair to the DC if they are scared of dogs.
   

My dog doesn't even like dogs rushing up to him asking him to play. He will play with other dogs, but if they rush over impolitely, he will make it clear he would prefer his own company.

As a dog lover and owner, why is it out of order to ask somebody not to let their dog approach yours in these circumstances?

[Flurgle]

Yup.
My dog is reactive. Always on a lead. Loose dogs scare him so he will snap.
Your dog shouldn’t be off lead unless they have excellent recall and you’re prepared to stop them approaching strangers and strange dogs. Some people are scared too.

[Sayhellotothethings]

Flurgle exactly. I was scared of dogs until I was 16 as I was attacked by a GSD as a child. I work with dogs now so have gone the other way, but I'll never forget how scared I was when a strange dog approached me, and try to be considerate to anyone else who could feel the same way.

The people who allow their dogs to approach yours when on a lead will probably be the first to moan when it does snap, too!

[pigsDOfly]

I think the fact that the dog is off the lead and has no recall answers all your questions.

Unfortunately, you've happened across a member of 'the stupid dog owners club'. In addition to that she's one of the 'he's friendly' brigade'.

The two things often go hand in hand.

All very frustrating.

[doginthemanger]

I sympathise, OP. Unfortunately there seem to be quite a few owners like this.

[Walney]

I've had the opposite today. I put my dog back on her lead when I saw an on lead dog approaching. Owner then called me rude because they thought I was reacting to their dog.

[Dontgiveamonkeys1350]

The ‘it’s okay he’s friendly’ brigade was one of the massive reasons my reactive dog got worse and worse.
How can it not occur to these idiots with their friendly dogs....... that not all dogs are friendly and not all people like dogs. Idiots.

[Whitney168]

I am pulling my hair out at the moment with owners who are unable to recognise the simplest of dog body language and maintain that their patently not friendly dogs are all sweetness and light.

One of my dogs IS very friendly, but because he thinks the world loves him and doesn't wait to find out if that's true - to ensure that he doesn't a) scare other dogs or b) get attacked, I keep him on a lead unless we are in a place where he is manageable.

Everyone else just seems to let their dogs stalk up to my lot and are incapable of recognising the dominant or aggressive body language. Luckily mine are all very nice, but it's very irritating to have to try and calmly extract yourself from situations just in case something kicks off, while the owner chuckles at how 'cute' their git of a dog is.

[MissShapesMissStakes]

Completely with you on this. My mini poodle got attacked last week. Dh put him on his lead as he saw two dogs approaching looking very energetic. Ddog is still young and goes deaf when other dogs are around so recall is terrible when ‘fun’ dogs are around.
The dogs ran over to ddog on his lead (the women had seen dh put ddog on his lead so shouldn’t have let them approach anyway).
Our dog in VERY submissive. So immediately rolled on his back. Both dogs went for him - snarling and growling. Dh shouted for the women to come over. They got the dogs but then let go a few steps away. Dogs came back even more hyped up and aggressive so dh lifted ddog and the dogs were jumping up at him trying to get to ddog. Apparently the dogs ‘have never done that before’. Not the point. They shouldn’t have let their dogs approach mine. He was on a lead.

Since then I’ve started shouting that ddog has kennel cough and may be contagious. People make much more effort then!

I like to choose which dogs I leave ddog off his lead for. His recall depends on their energy levels and how focussed he has been on me on the walk. Also I don’t like him racing about if there are other people around or we are closer to a road than I would like.

One woman yesterday shouted from a distance ‘I’m afraid my dogs are coming to say hello to yours, whether he wants to or not’. She had made no attempt to shout them. They looked harmless. But my dog was on a lead and that’s the point. So I shouted that he was contagious. Turned out her dogs had great recall, and she could run fast!

[BiteyShark]

I have seen dogs interacting and my gut feeling is that the interaction wasn't good. Googling dog signals confirmed my instinct and that it was rude behaviour from the 'friendly brigade' so it doesn't surprise me at all that a lot of friendly dogs are actually not playing nicely at all.

I also think some owners project their own feelings on dogs and if you reject letting your dog play with theirs they view it as a direct slur on them and get arsey.

The best owners I find recognise that dogs are unpredictive and apologise if theirs doesn't recall as a one off or acknowledges that dogs are individual and respects owners and dogs that want to be left alone.

[Walney]

I have had very rude responses from owners of on lead dog in the past, there is a park I avoid because dog owners keep to themselves and avoid everyone else.

I've put my dog on a lead around others, asked politely before allowing mine near a new dog, and still get very rude responses from other dog owners who just aren't approachable. I get dogs can have issues, it's why I keep a distance, ask permission before getting closer. One person completely ignored my direct request to say hello, then as I walked away shouted at me. The idea of another dog wanting to be sociable seems to be the worst thing you can do.

[AsahiGo]

Ahhh, I was just going to start a thread on this type of thing - free range dogs running up to leashed dogs!

I would've done the same OP. I get your frustration. I've never, ever encouraged any of my dogs to run over to a leashed dog. It's bad manners, stupid, and potentially dangerous. Not to mention you had a little one in a pram!

If a dog's on a lead, it's for a reason.

We recently adopted a Labsky, who is very much an adolescent! And whilst I'm sure he's 'friendly' and a 'goodboyreally' and 'just wants to play', he will stay on his lead until I am 100% sure he will not go for any human or dog and will come back to me when called. Last Sunday we were walking him, and some stupid b!tch (had run ins with her before, similar stuff) ACTIVELY ENCOURAGED i.e, launched her dogs' tennis ball in our direction for her dog to fetch. Obviously, her dog ran over to ours 'wanted to play', and we had to restrain our dog as he started getting incredibly excited, jumpy etc. she was walking a tiny Pomeranian; ours is a 50kg bruiser. Dh shouted at her to call her dog, and got the same response as you!

grinds teeth

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

'Friendly' dogs were the reason my 8yoDD was terrified of dogs. Taken a few years to get her happy around dogs (and she still doesn't like anything bigger than a spaniel unless she's met him/her a few times). She was knocked flying when walking along the pavement, knocked off her bike, had dogs jumping at her. Only apology I've ever heard, not the excuse, was the bike incident and that dog had escaped from a garden.

[AsahiGo]

@Aroundtheworldin80moves poor kid, that's enough to scare anyone. What did the other owners say (if anything) if it weren't offering an apology?

My dog jumps (he's in training), and when he's on his back legs he's level with me, and I'm 6ft tall. Whenever we come across people and they make a bee-line for him, or if we're waiting somewhere in public, I try and keep him away from them and they're warned that he does jump and we don't know what he's like. Tbf he's been fine with everyone, including a group of kids who ambushed us! There was one idiot trying to impress his idiot friends who, when told, our boy was jumpy and excitable, trying to wind him up and was gesturing for the dog to jump up him.