Dog has gone for my daughter

(76 Posts)
Lovemusic33 Thu 22-Aug-19 19:57:56

I'm sat here crying. Some of you may recognise me as I have posted about ddog (rescue dog) a lot.

We are currently camping, only been here a few hours. My dd2 is 13 and has severe ASD, she flaps and makes random noises, the dog has growlled at her a few times at home. We were in the tent and we walked past the dog and he growlled and lunged at her, luckily he was on a line and I grabbed him but of I hadn't have been quick enough he would have had her. He has since lunged several times and keeps growling every time we moved, I have him tied to me so.he can't get her but it's making things difficult. I have contacted the rescue and they have offered to put me in touch with a behaviourest but I can't risk it can I? We is often alone with the dog as is my other dd.

I am totally gutted. I'm trying to get hold of my mum to see of she can come and collect the dog so we can continue with our holiday, either that of the rescue will have to come and get him 😭

OP’s posts: |
OctoberLovers Thu 22-Aug-19 20:02:00

100% give to the rescue!

Josieannathe2nd Thu 22-Aug-19 20:05:05

A child with autism and a rescue dog doesn’t seem like a natural fit? It really sounds like you can’t keep your dog any longer.

If you’d still like a dog I think you need one can can train from a puppy with a temperament that works with your family.

missbattenburg Thu 22-Aug-19 20:05:40

@Lovemusic33 it sounds like a rubbish situation. I feel for you and am not going to try to convince you to keep a dog you are not happy with because that's not right for any of you.

However, a couple of things that stood out to me:

- if this is the first time you have been away with your dog or if he is generally nervous then just being outside his home environment may be too stressful for him. This will then reduce dramatically how much else he can cope with, whilst also coping with being away.
- I am not sure how long you have had your dog? If it's not been very long, as I suspect, this could also be a factor.
- Lunging for your DD is not the same as biting her and you would never know whether or not he would have. It's within canine behaviour to lunge and touch teeth against someone without ever intending to do actual harm. An extreme warning, if you will.

Having someone come to collect the dog sounds very sensible to me.

Ultimately, you and your children need to feel safe and relaxed at home and the dog deserves a home where he also feels safe and relaxed. If this isn't a realistic possiblity then returning him to the rescue is the next best thing.

Maybe worth speaking to the rescue's behaviourist (assuming they will pay) to talk it over?

Sickoffamilydrama Thu 22-Aug-19 20:17:40

I'm so sorry we had a rescue before kids that growled a couple of times eventually it bit my husband on the face he had to have lots of stitches 😕 we kept him my because my DH wanted to, when we had DC my mum persuaded us to let her have him, he bit her and was a constant source of worry that he'd hurt her or the DCs when we visited.

I was so glad when he died.

Unfortunately some dogs can't be helped and the kindest thing is to put them to sleep. With a DD with HFA myself I know you already have your hands full do you have the emotional energy to give to the dog?

Lovemusic33 Thu 22-Aug-19 20:19:02

I can't stop crying. My mum's comming to collect the dog so we can continue camping, at the moment he won't stop lunging at dd. Mum will take him back to mine which will give the rescue time to find a foster carer. I love ddog so much but we has to come first .

OP’s posts: |
Sickoffamilydrama Thu 22-Aug-19 20:21:12

Argh I missed the sentence if the dogs home won't take it back then the kindest thing may be PTS.

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BiteyShark Thu 22-Aug-19 20:21:49

The dog sounds like a very poor fit for your household tbh.

june2007 Thu 22-Aug-19 20:26:13

Sounds like rehoming is the best situation. If this is camping then dog may be feel nervouse. If 13 year old is acting out of character or more excited. (Mine do when I camp.) Then Dog will be more on edge. But probably best to give dog a new home perhaps he needs a calmer environment.

Zakana Thu 22-Aug-19 20:32:12

I feel for you but your daughter must come first, I wish I could have your DDogs (my DH said five dogs is enough because I have a habit of collecting them) and he won’t let me have any more sad

crazycrazyworld Thu 22-Aug-19 20:34:34

I honesty thought you were going to say you're so upset because you brought an unpredictable animal into your family and were almost responsible for a dog biting and injuring your dd. Can't believe you're more worried about the bloody dog. Get a grip and protect your daughter fgs

missbattenburg Thu 22-Aug-19 20:40:34

In what way is...

- physically restraining the dog
- arranging for someone to come and collect him asap
- speaking to the rescue to take him back

NOT protecting her daughter?

Besides, the OP didn't actually say specifically what she found most upsetting.

Get back in your barrel.

Wolfiefan Thu 22-Aug-19 20:42:41

Yep OP is protecting her daughter. Understandably the whole situation is upsetting but she’s getting the dog removed and carrying on with the holiday. How isn’t that putting the child first.
OP I’m sorry this is happening.

Floralnomad Thu 22-Aug-19 20:45:42

I’m sorry but it’s totally unrealistic to have tried to take this dog camping so soon after rehoming him . You’ve only had him a matter of weeks and have started a few threads about issues with him so it’s not as if this wasn’t even predictable . I’m sorry if it seems like I’m putting the boot in but it’s not right that posters that are unfamiliar with your posting history are coming along saying pts . Personally , from reading your threads over the last few years I think your family set up is not suitable for having any dog - sorry .

CokeZeroHero Thu 22-Aug-19 20:49:02

Aren't you the poster who got this dog on a whim, meaning your poor cat then spent weeks outside as he was frightened of it? Last I read he still wasn't back in his home.

Just re home it and don't get another dog

Raphael34 Thu 22-Aug-19 20:54:11

Get the dog away from your pets and children who are suffering the consequences of your poor decisions, before they get ripped apart. Don’t get another dog

KT2019 Thu 22-Aug-19 21:13:13

Sorry but you need to rehome it to someone who understands the dogs needs, and is able to give it the home it deserves. Do not get another dog, puppy or rescue unless you are willing to put the time and effort in.

Cabezona Thu 22-Aug-19 21:36:19

thanks horrible situation. Hope you're all ok. You're doing the right thing, the dog isn't comfortable for whatever reason and will be happier somewhere else. thanks

Elieza Thu 22-Aug-19 21:44:06

People in this situation always seem to think that if the dog doesn’t remain in THEIR household that the dog will never be happy ever again. That they are a failure if they have to give the dog back. That it’s bad for the dog to be returned.

That’s not the case. The dog is just not a good fit for your family. There are plenty more families and single people/couples etc out there. It will be fine.

Adults or children who behave in unexpected ways, with sudden outbursts or sudden movements, can be a bit disconcerting for pets. The rescue centre should see you and your child together when assessing your suitability to take on a particular one of their rescue dogs and watch your child on their worst behaviour and see how the dog reacts. Choose carefully. And think what’s best for the dog too. If your child is OTT it may be too much for a pet to handle.

Don’t get wrapped up in doing a good thing that turns into a total nightmare for some poor dog that would be better with a quieter family.

And if you are the person who posted about having a cat that was so scared it ran away it would be better to refrain from getting a dog. Your loyalty should lie with the poor long suffering cat. Apologies if that’s nothing to do with you.

NoSquirrels Thu 22-Aug-19 21:49:47

Camping sounds like a stressful situation for a nervous dog.

A family member who stims or makes unpredictable movements sounds like a stressful situation for a nervous dog.

Together it’s no wonder he’s in fear aggressive mode.

You’re not the right family for him.

Lovemusic33 Thu 22-Aug-19 22:00:19

Thank you for all your posts. Obviously I am protecting my daughter which is why I contacted the rescue and why the dog is going. I am upset because the dog is unlikely to be rehomed as he can now not be homed with kids of cats.

This is his 2nd camping trip, we are camping close to home and my mum has now collected the dog. He has shown no signs of aggression towards anyone other than dd.

I am upset but obviously as comes first. I now have the problem that the rescue has no foster places to take him back but I will insist they take him ASAP as I can't take my dd home where there a dog that may attack her.

Just to confirm, the dog did not hurt dd as he was on a long line and I managed to grab his harness before he got her (he was close and would have bitten her), I kept dd away from him until he was collected.

Thank you every one for your kind (and not so kind) messages.

OP’s posts: |
Littlechocola Thu 22-Aug-19 22:05:16

You’ve done the right thing op.
I understand the upset.

YouJustDoYou Thu 22-Aug-19 22:07:48

You've done the right thing, op. Other people will be better placed to help him. You're both just not the right fit for each other, and that's ok.

Lovemusic33 Thu 22-Aug-19 22:08:44

And I was the poster her posted about the cat running away, the dog has chased the cat a number of times. We won't be getting another, I want my cat to feel safe and for my dd to feel safe. Chances are my dd will now be scared of dogs so it would be silly to get another ☹

OP’s posts: |
Floralnomad Thu 22-Aug-19 22:32:23

That sounds like a sensible decision , best wishes and I hope your dd manages to enjoy the rest of your trip , perhaps when things settle down you could get a second cat .

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