New cockapoo puppy

(30 Posts)
Firgoodnesssake Tue 06-Aug-19 07:25:31

Hi all, I’m hoping for some advice. First time puppy own to a 10 week old cockapoo. We’ve had him one week. He’s loving his crate, will go in to it himself and is sleeping at night with one or two times needing out to pee. He is (mostly) using the back garden to toilet and knows to come for a reward when he does that. I’m loving him but nervous as I am clueless about what to do. He hasn’t spent any time to speak of alone so I want to build on that as from September he’s goig to have to be alone during the day (I’ll be able to pop home at lunchtime a couple times a week). How can I teach him to be ok to amuse himself for a period of time, knowing I’ll have to start small and build on that?

OP’s posts: |
delilahbucket Tue 06-Aug-19 07:35:13

Just start small, with five minutes, and build on it. Please be aware though, Cockapoos like to chew when they are bored/anxious/out of routine. I would be getting someone to come in every day and take him out/play with him/let him out.

Girlintheframe Tue 06-Aug-19 07:40:27

Good luck! Our pup is 14 months old and no way would he be happy being left alone for hours at a time. It's only really been the last month that he has settled enough for me to leave him for up to 3 hours.
You really need to build up the time slowly. Just leave him for a minute or two and gradually build the time up. Having things that will entertain him will help. Ours has a kong, snuffle mat and lick mat.
Think the trick is to go back to him before he gets upset. He needs to build his confidence that he is fine and you will return.
I think it must really depend on breed, ours goes to doggy day care when we are at work as he is very much a 'people' dog and would be very unhappy being left alone on a regular basis

Girlintheframe Tue 06-Aug-19 07:40:34

Good luck! Our pup is 14 months old and no way would he be happy being left alone for hours at a time. It's only really been the last month that he has settled enough for me to leave him for up to 3 hours.
You really need to build up the time slowly. Just leave him for a minute or two and gradually build the time up. Having things that will entertain him will help. Ours has a kong, snuffle mat and lick mat.
Think the trick is to go back to him before he gets upset. He needs to build his confidence that he is fine and you will return.
I think it must really depend on breed, ours goes to doggy day care when we are at work as he is very much a 'people' dog and would be very unhappy being left alone on a regular basis

Girlintheframe Tue 06-Aug-19 07:40:40

Good luck! Our pup is 14 months old and no way would he be happy being left alone for hours at a time. It's only really been the last month that he has settled enough for me to leave him for up to 3 hours.
You really need to build up the time slowly. Just leave him for a minute or two and gradually build the time up. Having things that will entertain him will help. Ours has a kong, snuffle mat and lick mat.
Think the trick is to go back to him before he gets upset. He needs to build his confidence that he is fine and you will return.
I think it must really depend on breed, ours goes to doggy day care when we are at work as he is very much a 'people' dog and would be very unhappy being left alone on a regular basis

StillMedusa Tue 06-Aug-19 07:41:37

14 weeks is going to be too young to leave him all day even with a lunch time visit, unless you want a stressed puppy!
I'm in the same position..I work in school, so not overlong hours but mine is 12 weeks currently and while I can go to the loo without her..and I managed a shower yesterday, there is NO way she will be able to cope alone in a month's time..she's a baby..I wouldn't leave a 4 month old child alone, and the puppy has many more skills!

Join the FB ' Dog Training Advice and Support Group' and read the Puppy Units. They make it very clear that leaving a dog that young is not ok if you want a happy well adjusted puppy, but also have great tips (which I'm following) for helping a puppy learn to be ok..in very very small increments.

I'm meeting a professional dog carer who will have my puppy at her home for some days and having a friend come in (paid) and be here with her all day other days... and if that falls through I'm going supply only at work until she is older...yes it's going to be expensive but it's necessary. I'm hoping she will learn to trust several key people in her life not just our immediate family, but it will take a lot more time than 4 weeks!

Girlintheframe Tue 06-Aug-19 07:41:52

Ah sorry, no idea why it's posted multiple times!

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Pipandmum Tue 06-Aug-19 07:46:34

Oh I think you’re going to get into trouble for getting a puppy at if you’re out every day!
But I trained my dogs by leaving them in the crate and going to another room for a bit. If you’re already doing this, then you can start leaving the house for increasing amounts of time. But what you don’t want is for the pup to associate you putting him in the crate and leaving. So pop him in, potter about s while so he can hear you, then leave. When you return, do the same (don’t instantly rush in and make a fuss). Then it’s just a matter of working it up to four hours (or whatever).
Your puppy will still be very young when you start leaving him, but my life outside my house didn’t stop when I got a puppy (two school age kids and 30 minute return school run for example). You are going to have to get up early to make sure he has a decent walk before you leave and then he may sleep for most of the time. Kong stuffed with food (make sure you take that into account for his daily food). Radio on sometimes helps.
Mine don’t use a crate anymore but I think you will have to until he’s out of the chewing phase!

MissShapesMissStakes Tue 06-Aug-19 07:47:14

How many days a week and for how many hours are you planning to leave him for?
At that age I would only leave my pup for 20-30 minutes. And he would need to be in his puppy pen or crate for that time or he would have toiletted in the house and eaten something he shouldn’t.
He’s now just over one year old and occasionally is left for 3 hours with no trouble. But only after a walk/long play with someone in the garden.

Daisydoesnt Tue 06-Aug-19 07:52:39

OP how on earth do you think a four month old puppy (if he's 10 weeks now, and presumably mid September you are going back to work, about 6 weeks time) is going to be OK left for what, eight hours a day? Even if you come back to let him out at lunchtime, you can't leave a puppy alone for hours and hours each day. That is just cruel.

You might be able to build up to it but that will be when the dog is an adult, not a young puppy. Jeez

YouJustDoYou Tue 06-Aug-19 07:55:06

You can't leave a dog on its own all day, assuming you'll be gone for hours. Popping back only a couple times isn't acceptable, and isn't fair to the dog (unless of course you've not mentioned dog walkers etc you'll be getting in).

rookiemere Tue 06-Aug-19 07:56:40

You need a dog walker. Although at that age they cannot do long walks our dog walkers kept Ddog in the house with them in between walks for the company. Dogs are social creatures, it's very unfair on them to expect them to be on their own all the time.

Cyberworrier Tue 06-Aug-19 07:57:48

Just to add another voice saying that you really can’t leave such a young puppy for three hours twice a day every day. It’s a baby, only away from it’s mum for a couple of months by itself, it would probably end up having accidents and in distress. There’s just no fair or reasonable way you can expect to train such a young puppy to be ok with that. Even if magically the dog doesn’t have accidents, it is still so wrong. If you’re out all the time it means you aren’t training him, socialising him, creating a bond. Really not setting up your puppy for the best start.
Are you implying you’d be able to pop back a couple of times a week that’s theres a day or two the puppy would be left all day?! I seriously hope not. Find puppy daycare or a good dog walker.

BiteyShark Tue 06-Aug-19 08:26:24

A small puppy alone is going to struggle.

At that age they can't even hold their pee/poo for long so expect many accidents when you get home to clean up.

Yes people leave their dogs alone all day with the odd short visit but I know my puppy couldn't cope with that and we sourced daycare when he was coming up to about 13 weeks old.

missbattenburg Tue 06-Aug-19 10:06:24

You teach a dog to be left by leaving them alone for very short amounts of time, multiple times over. The aim is to return to them before they get upset.

If your dog gets distressed while you are away then you've left it too long and need to reduce it back down to shorter time periods.

In reality, this probably means starting at a very short time indeed - one or two minutes - and building up from there over multiple of repetitions. It's usually the kind of training that will take several weeks/months to do it right.

Like others have said, I would expect a 14-18 week old puppy to be extremely distressed and upset at being left for the day, even with someone popping in at lunch time. At best this means that for most of your puppy's life he will be upset/unhappy. At worst this could create behavioural/psychological issues in the adult dog - a fairly likely outcome.

I am fairly sure that if I'd asked that of Battendog at that age, he would have developed a full on phobia of being left. He didn't really develop his confidence to be alone until about 18 months.

fivedogstofeed Tue 06-Aug-19 10:13:13

Just to be clear - you're intending to leave a 4 month old puppy on his own all day? You really won't get any advice telling you this is feasible I'm a afraid. sad

fivedogstofeed Tue 06-Aug-19 10:13:20

Just to be clear - you're intending to leave a 4 month old puppy on his own all day? You really won't get any advice telling you this is feasible I'm a afraid. sad

Nesssie Tue 06-Aug-19 10:19:45

Op, all puppies/dogs are different, some can't be left alone for any amount of time, some are happy being left during the day. It is a combination of breed/training and individual personality.

Keep him in his safe space, either in his crate, or in a downstairs room with a baby gate across the door.
Start small, walk out the room, return. Go upstairs, come back down.
Go outside, immediately come back in. Each time, don't make a big deal, just go about some everyday chores. In and out constantly. After a while he should stop getting up/excited every time you appear. After about 30 minutes of this, go and say hello, give him some cuddles, do a toilet break. Repeat this every day if possible

You can give him a chew or kong to amuse himself. Build up the time depending on how he reacts.

adaline Tue 06-Aug-19 10:19:53

I'm really sorry OP but you can't leave a three month old puppy on it's own all day - it's cruel and not fair on the dog at all. Mine couldn't hold his bladder any longer than a couple of hours at that age (during the day that is).

You need to sort out a different plan for your dog - either daycare or have someone come into your house and sit with him. It's too long to leave him on his own. He's young and needs pretty much constant entertainment and stimulation when awake, plus regular toilet breaks and interaction from you or another person.

When mine was 12-14 weeks old he needed letting out every hour or two. We did training with him several times though the day. Even if we weren't actively playing with him, he didn't want to be on his own for extended periods. He wanted cuddles on the sofa, or just to be by our feet. We gave him kongs and chews and things, which occupied him - but not for much longer than 20-30 minutes before he either got bored or needed the toilet or went to find his own entertainment (chewing the sofa, scratching at the carpet....)

Please don't leave your tiny puppy on its own like that - a couple of hours should be the maximum at that age.

NotAgainKen Tue 06-Aug-19 10:32:27

If you're coming home at lunch time 'a couple of times a week' how many hours is he going to be on his own for the other three days?

Firgoodnesssake Tue 06-Aug-19 12:19:16

Thanks all, I’m already in love with this puppy and wouldn’t do anything to distress it! Of course I’ll be putting arrangements in place to ensure it’s happy. At the minute he has someone with him all day, happy to sleep in the crate alone at night. I would like to get to the stage where he can play / be content to be alone in the room or garden for a few minutes and gradually build that up. It’s that area I wanted advice for - sorry if I wasn’t clear enough.
I wasn’t after any meanness however and at least I am interested enough to want to try to do the right thing.

OP’s posts: |
Cyberworrier Tue 06-Aug-19 13:21:58

That’s good to hear, but I think it’s a little off to interpret posters advice as meanness when you’re post stated you were planning on leaving puppy in a month just with lunchtime pop in some days and seemed to suggest he may be left all day on others. People were just responding to what you had said 🤷‍♀️

EnidPrunehat Tue 06-Aug-19 13:27:10

I think you are going to be very lucky if you manage to leave a small puppy for most of the working day by September without consequences.

However, moving on from that, my advice (as the human to a 7 month old huge, hairy hooligan) is to start leaving your pup for very small periods of time as soon as he is settled with you. 15 minutes, half an hour and then a little longer and so on. But really, these increases in time have to be minute. You can't go from an hour of happily being left to an entire working day. Only now - at 7 months and a very confident chap - would I leave dPup for up to 3 hours and that only after a good walk first. I also only leave him for this amount of time occasionally. Not every day.

longearedbat Tue 06-Aug-19 14:51:35

OP, I am not being mean, but you said yourself that the puppy will be alone all day from september, apart from a couple of days a week when you can pop home, which is far from satisfactory. You are going to need doggy day care I would have thought. There is no way you should crate a puppy and then go out for 8 hours or so.
As for the crate, start with a few minutes at a time and build on it. Our current dog was only crated for safety reasons (like when I was cooking for example), and left secure but free in the kitchen when we went out. Does depend though on whether your dog is destructive though (which she wasnt).

Firgoodnesssake Tue 06-Aug-19 15:25:38

Thanks everyone, I will take all of the advice on board as I do want a happy dog that I look after well. Just to reassure you all that I wouldn’t dream of leaving it crated while I’m out. I clearly have w lot of research and thinking to do prior to making plans

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