Will a week ruin toilet training?

(53 Posts)
Nobhobs Mon 15-Jul-19 04:15:00

Ddog is going to stay with my mum for 6 nights, so that I can have my csection and settle back in afterwards. He's 14 months and we only cracked toilet training a few months ago. It's not an ideal situation as I'm always at home, but my mum works 9-5 so for four days out of the six he's there he's going to be left alone (well, with her other dog who he gets on great with). He's stayed there before and been ok, but she has sometimes come home to pee and poop, which is fair enough after such a long time. They can't be left with access to garden and there's no one to go check in on them.

My question is, will six days of just peeing and pooping wherever he wants ruin him being toilet trained in our house when he comes home? I don't know if I can deal with our house being used as a toilet when we have a newborn on our hands. If it's going to be a problem I might just send DH to pick the dog up as soon as we're home from hospital

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newmomof1 Mon 15-Jul-19 04:42:17

Our little boy is toilet trained (and he's fantastic with it) but sometimes he'll have an accident if we're out for a while, and that's ok.

As long as your mom is consistent with encouraging him to go outside when she's there, you should be ok.

Is he also pad trained? If so, she could always leave a pad when she's out to avoid too much mess.

BiteyShark Mon 15-Jul-19 05:40:05

I would be worried about the time he is going to be left alone causing him stress as well as the peeing and pooing. And yes you may end up having to reinforce toilet training again but you won't know how it will affect him until afterwards when it's too late and I wouldn't want to be dealing with that and recovering from a csection.

Personally I would look for a proper dog boarder to take the dog so he wouldn't be left 8 hours without any stimulation and opportunity to pee/poo.

Nobhobs Mon 15-Jul-19 05:46:54

Thanks both. @BiteyShark He's stayed at my mums before and is fine, as she has another dog they just play together all day. It's just never been for longer than a day or two. The plan was always for a friend to pop in and let him out a few times whilst I was in labour but it's all changed to a section at the last minute and I've been unable to find any better option than my mums house, I've rang around a couple of dog sitters but we live very rurally and there's just not those sort of options, and he would be far worse off in a kennel environment than with a dog on a sofa. I'm not happy about it but stuck for a better option. He's pretty much just slept 9-5 these last few months whilst I've been too heavily pregnant to walk him (DH has been doing that when he gets home) so if anything he'll be more stimulated with her dog then he has been with me. I'm trying to not stress over what I can't help, but sounds like a better option will be to pack DH off to pick the dog up early rather than waiting for my mum to drop him back. Only reason dog is away so long was it was the only dates my mum could get off work to make the trip as she lives a few hours away.

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TakeOneForTheBreem Mon 15-Jul-19 05:56:13

I'd be far more worried at being alone for eight hours than toilet training regression. He'll get stressed trying to hold in his pee for that long, he's not going to suddenly just start peeing inside.

Is there someone who can check in and let him out after a few hours? Walkmydoggy? A neighbour?

I'm happy to leave my dog for six but not more than that and he's quite a bit older and a very independent type. For me, it's not so much about him being without his owner, it's the stress of not being allowed to pee when he wants.

Nobhobs Mon 15-Jul-19 05:59:18

Thanks @TakeOneForTheBreem . Gah really not what I want to hear. I have no other options bar kennels. He's a tiny little cavalier pup who's petrified of other dogs (was attacked by an Alsatian as a pup) the only dog he's ok with is my mums as he sees her so often (and she's tiny and non threatening!) We live so rurally there's only 2 dog sitters in a 2 hour radius that have dogs in their own houses but they both have big breeds in at the time and I know he won't cope with that, he's so scared of big dogs. My mum is a few hours away so I don't know anyone who can pop in and check on him there and she doesn't either. I literally have no other option.

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Nobhobs Mon 15-Jul-19 06:02:04

A few times at my mums even with me there he's still peed and pooped in the house, he seems far more toilet trained in our house than he is elsewhere. He gets so over excited there I think he just forgets. So hopefully it won't be that traumatic for him? He does get on so well with her dog as well, I'm sure he'd be ok. God I'm going to spend the entire time I'm with my newborn stressing about ddog until he's home. This is so crap sad

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PenelopeFlintstone Mon 15-Jul-19 06:07:52

I know you said they can't have access to the garden but does that mean from the house, or is the garden not secure? If it is, can they both just be left in the garden together? Not sure whether you meant the back door couldn't be left open or whether they couldn't be left outside full-stop.

Nobhobs Mon 15-Jul-19 06:11:51

@PenelopeFlintstone The garden is practically a field. It's absolutely huge and surrounded by other fields with cows in and only a small wire fence. I'm sure he could get through it if he tried hard enough. It's also got a very deep pond and I'd worry sick with him out there all day sad

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Teacakeandalatte Mon 15-Jul-19 06:20:50

Obviously it's not ideal and would be better if someone could let them out at lunchtime but in an emergency at least you know he is happy there so just work on the toilet training after.
Is there a local person who might pop in to let them out in the garden at lunchtime, it wouldn't have to be a proper dog walker for that esp if they are just small friendly dogs.

TakeOneForTheBreem Mon 15-Jul-19 06:25:54

I'd definitely have a look on some dog walking websites near your mum's place.

Have you tried calling any boarding places to see if they can accommodate a nervous dog? I know one by my parents had a quiet area with more space away from other dogs and only let the dogs out separately.

I can understand your frustration, it's really hard for us to find suitable cover for our dog too as we're abroad and their places for dog boarding are subpar.

I doubt he'd be traumatised by a few days of less than ideal circumstances. If it's all that's available, that's just how it goes sometimes.

Put some pee on a pee pad and he'll understand that that is the place to go and hopefully not be tempted to hold it.

There are people on here who'll make you feel guilty if you don't spend all day at home, refilling multiple kongs and going on 10 mile hikes daily. Most of us cannot do that but our dogs still have a happy, comfortable life. Don't ruin your child coming into the world feeling bad about this. He'll be fine, especially with a doggy friend.

Once he gets back, get right onto the toilet training again so he remembers what he's supposed to be doing.

Nobhobs Mon 15-Jul-19 06:26:32

I'd go pick him back up myself once we were home from hospital if I could but I obviously can't drive after section sad DH doesn't like the idea of leaving me and newborn for a 4 hour round trip to pick up dog after I have surgery. Mums first day off is the day when she's bringing him back to us and coming to meet the baby which unfortunately is 6 days later. Oh I could cry. DH surprised me with a 'baby moon' a few weeks ago, only for two nights and ddog stayed with my mum and she worked both days and I spent the entire time worrying about him. It was fine, they'd obviously spent all day playing as they were both exhausted both nights when she got home ( that never happens ) so I thought it would be ok. Now I'm just going to worry. I don't know what to do. Mum is insistent she doesn't know anyone who can check on them and they'll be fine sad

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Nobhobs Mon 15-Jul-19 06:28:40

Other option is DH doesn't stay in hospital with me after section and stays home with dog.. he says that feels like he's having his first moments with his son taken away from him though. Oh this is so hard

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Bookworm4 Mon 15-Jul-19 06:30:25

I’d look for a dog walker at your mums, plenty do one to one walks.

Nobhobs Mon 15-Jul-19 06:33:15

Dog walkers not available in my mums area. Extremely rural, nothing but farms around for miles. Nearest town over an hour away. There's nothing near her. A few house based dog sitters near us but all have big dogs in at the time. Not willing to put him in kennels. I've looked into everything possible sad

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Nobhobs Mon 15-Jul-19 06:35:47

DH has agreed to stay home after section and watch him. Not very happily though. I can't win either way I'm either going to feel guilty about dh or guilty about ddog. I'm not even excited for this section anymore I just feel in despair over this situation.

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Bookworm4 Mon 15-Jul-19 06:37:07

Is there no dog walkers near you?

SavoyCabbage Mon 15-Jul-19 06:38:04

Is it going to be the school holidays? Does one of the farms have a teenager who could walk him?

TakeOneForTheBreem Mon 15-Jul-19 06:41:40

Maybe make a last ditch effort by advertising on fb or craigslist, both near you and near your mum's.

If not, I wouldn't feel too bad about leaving him for two or so days. Your husband can still see the baby and go and pick up the dog and still go in to see you daily, right?

Nobhobs Mon 15-Jul-19 06:41:47

He never has a midday walk, he always goes for a walk around 6 which mum was going to be able to do. He was going to have company in her dog. I've been crap for months as had HG so he's spent his days sleeping until DH comes home anyway. He only usually goes out for one wee during mums working hours. Am I really being more cruel to him leaving him without a wee than I am stopping DH being in hospital with us? I'm so torn.

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Nobhobs Mon 15-Jul-19 06:44:33

DH saying I'm being ridiculous and that he wees in mums house anyway and is only toilet trained here. He's annoyed that I've posted 'on this bloody website for reassurance as all it ever does is make you feel worse".. he's got a point blush

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Booboostwo Mon 15-Jul-19 06:45:26

He’ll be fine. He has another dog and it is just for a few days. It’s not your long term plan, it’s your emergency solution in unavoidable circumstances. Send the dog to your mum, enjoy the birth of your baby.

flowery Mon 15-Jul-19 06:46:28

Surely you only need someone local to pop in a couple of times/walk him the actual day of your section? Then DH will be able to do it.

There must be a neighbour/dog walker/local teenager/borrow my doggy person near you who can be in charge of the dog for one day?

OliviaBenson Mon 15-Jul-19 06:46:34

Will your H be allowed to stay over in the hospital anyway? Every father I know gets sent home!

Can you get a dog walker at your house while you are in hosp just so your H can be with you in the day without worrying about the dog?

Nobhobs Mon 15-Jul-19 06:49:06

DH is allowed to stay in hospital. We've got a double room, I have to be in for three days due to certain circumstances so he wanted to spend the entire time with us and baby. Couldn't leave dog at home as hospital is 40 mins away so not easy for DH to pop in as such. If dog stays home then so does DH besides maybe 6 hours or we have the same problem as leaving him at mums.

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