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Jack Russell puppy and ds

(29 Posts)
ememem84 Mon 08-Jul-19 06:45:05

Hoping for some advice here.

Fil and his gf have just brought home an 11 week old jack Russell puppy. It is super cute and very small.

Ds is 22 months. We met the puppy on Saturday.

Puppy jumped up at ds a lot, has really sharp claws and is incredibly excitable. Ds didn’t like it.

Dh sat ds in his lap so puppy couldn’t jump at him and I sat puppy on mine. He calmed down and ds patted him. All good.

Except everytime puppy was let down he jumped at ds. No one else.

I’m assuming it’s because ds is smaller but not really sure.

Fil and his gf shouted at ds for chasing the puppy (he ran away from it), the. Laughed when he was scared “no no no no mummy daddy” when the puppy was chasing him and jumping. Luckily dh was able to sweep him up (ds not puppy). I’m 37 weeks pregnant and not as mobile as I was!

Fils gf have puppy treats when it jumped up. Because it was playing and being good 🤔 and has made comments about how ds is obviously scared of dogs and needs to toughen up.

We’ve said that it’s not fair on him. He doesn’t like the dog jumping and asked them to control it, which at 11 weeks old, being in a new home and meeting lots of new people on your second day there is probably easier said than done. But ds was scared. We’ve said the dog is not allowed in our house (we have a cat) which was met with huffs and eye rolling.

Has anyone got any advice on how we can help ds? Apparently puppy isn’t going to be trained not to jump as “that’s what JR’s do” and if ds is scared of dogs it’s our fault.

Ironically we were at a bbq with Fil and gf on Saturday evening and there were a few dogs there. One of which was an adult JR. Ds was fine with it. It didn’t jump. It came to him he didn’t chase it. He had a pat and was very calm. Other dogs there were much bigger - couple of labs a boxer and a springy spaniel. All of which he was fine with.

We also didn’t realise that Saturday was the puppy’s second day in its new home. We knew they were getting him they just hadn’t told anyone when. So when we went round it was there. If we’d known he’s just arrived we’d have held off visiting as I think maybe he should have been allowed to settle in a bit first.

Dh is of the opinion that if they continue to laugh at ds and not help us on this they won’t see ds. I personally think this should be a last resort. But am also inclined to agree with him.

So. Any ideas to help us?

OP’s posts: |
IceRebel Mon 08-Jul-19 06:56:11

Apparently puppy isn’t going to be trained not to jump as “that’s what JR’s do”

Jumping up is a bad habit in dogs, and lack of training in this area would make me nervous about what other behaviours are going to be ignored or encouraged.

I think your DH has got the right idea, in saying they won't see your son. I would certainly be limiting time with the puppy, as their reaction to a scared child shows the type of dog owners they're going to be. Dog comes first, and your DS ends up getting hurt then you can bet they won't blame the dog.

ememem84 Mon 08-Jul-19 07:43:15

That’s what I was afraid of.

We’re aware that they will bring dog to our house despite our requests not to. And us making the dog stay outside will be an issue. It was yesterday when they came round. Eyes were rolled. They were huffy and reluctantly let dog run in our garden (which isn’t puppy proofed so he almost got out the back gate by crawling under it...).

I don’t want ds to be scared. But at the same time Im not going to force him to be around something he doesn’t like to desensitise him (as I expect Fil and gf are expecting “he’ll get used to it....” Dhs response to that was that he shouldn’t have to)

OP’s posts: |
Floralnomad Mon 08-Jul-19 08:24:29

They will have to visit you / your family at your house until they train their dog and tell them they cannot bring it with them - problem solved .

ememem84 Mon 08-Jul-19 11:19:54

Sadly we did tell them not to bring it. And they did anyway. Apparently it can’t be left alone. I understand maybe not leaving it all day. But for an hour or so?

I insisted it stayed outside. they were not happy.

Dh is going to have to have words. Again.

It’s a shame because it’s absolutely not the dogs fault. And he is such a cutie. Pic attached.

At least I don’t have a dh problem on this!!!

OP’s posts: |
Fucksandflowers Mon 08-Jul-19 11:25:52

THats a funny looking jack Russell....?
Are you sure that is what it is? hmm

The dog will grow up to be an absolute menace, that is clear from their ridiculous 'were not going to stop it jumping' and their comments about DS needing to toughen up.

My advice:

- stick to no dog at your property rule.
If they turn up with dog you don't let them in.
- don't visit them

If they want to prioritise the dog more fool them.

Nesssie Mon 08-Jul-19 11:34:08

Op that's not a JR.
That puppy has a typical staffie cross look - the rounded face and brindle colouring. Most likely a Jack Russell x staffie.
Not a problem per se but the dog will grow bigger than they expect.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone Mon 08-Jul-19 11:34:54

Thats a funny looking jack Russell....?
Are you sure that is what it is?

I was just about to post the same thing. It looks nothing like any Jack Russell puppy I've ever seen...

Dh is of the opinion that if they continue to laugh at ds and not help us on this they won’t see ds. I personally think this should be a last resort. But am also inclined to agree with him.

Absolutely the most sensible suggestion. If they find your sons discomfort amusing why would you want to continually put your sin in that position. Your husband is correct to say they wont see him if they think their puppy jumping up is more important than their own grandsons emotional and potentially physical wellbing.

Nesssie Mon 08-Jul-19 11:36:28

All Brindle JRT/Staffs

Nesssie Mon 08-Jul-19 11:37:11

Pics

Feelingwalkedover Mon 08-Jul-19 11:41:20

Definitely not a JR pup...
Staffie cross jr I expect

ememem84 Mon 08-Jul-19 11:44:55

I did have to ask what it was. We knew they were getting a JR (although didn’t know when) and I thought it was not a “normal” looking one (ie white with tan patches - that’s normal to me as that’s all I’ve ever seen!)

Apparently it’s a brindle one. It’s dad was brown.

Although. I have just done a google and yeah. A brindle Jr puppy does look slightly different. I did a search for jr puppy crosses. Looks very similar to a jr staffy cross.

Fil got it from Dhs half sister who has dogs and she bred this one.

But yeah. We’ll have to stick to our guns on this. Until dog is trained not to jump. No visits to their house for ds. And dog does not come to ours. My other issue is in 37 weeks pregnant and don’t want it anywhere near the new baby. Dh is backing me on this one.

At the weekend ds was around much bigger dogs and was fine. But they were family pets so used to kids, were properly trained etc. And the owners were very aware that ds is little. And kept the dogs in check. I obviously had to keep ds in check too as he’s not the most gentle so always have to show him how to pat them nicely etc. He’s still learning.

OP’s posts: |
IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere Mon 08-Jul-19 11:48:34

That's not a Jack Russell - no such thing as a brindle JR. But those JRT/Staff pups are adorable.

But that aside, your inlaws are making a rod for their own backs. I have a small JR and a husky. We don't tolerate anything from the JR that we wouldn't tolerate from the big dog. Manners are the same regardless of the size/character of the dog.

Your little one is obviously not frightened of dogs so I would support him when the puppy is after him - pick him up, let him play on your knee or at the table and let him and the puppy take turns at playing on the floor.

I

Summertimeatthebeach Mon 08-Jul-19 11:55:06

Could you put a baby gate at your kitchen door and have it in there? Then it looks like you are willing to compromise - stick to not visiting them if they won't comply though. Your dc's safety comes first obviously but dc and ddogs can have amazing relationships so don't dismiss that as an option - if the ddog sees ds even small amounts they can begin one which when ds /dpup are older can benefit them both! Imo!
The jumping up is normal is nearly as bonkers as that being a jrt!!

FranklySonImTheGaffer Mon 08-Jul-19 11:57:35

I like your DHs stance on this. If they bring the dog to your house, none of them come in. You don't have to explain why, they already know the puppy isn't welcome.

BTW, when my nephew was around 18month we had a JRT / Staffie cross and JRT puppy, as well as another mongrel terrier.
The 2 older ones were brilliant with nephew but the puppy just wanted to jump all over him. I think he recognised another 'baby' and playing with other puppies is how they learn.
We kept puppy on a lead around nephew and managed him that way. It's not a puppies fault that they don't know not to jump etc BUT as the owner, we were 100% responsible for making sure nephew didn't get hurt.

Now (9 years later), the 'puppy' and nephew get on well. But we've worked with both - nephew knows how to give proper instructions to the dog and the dog knows he has to listen to nephew.

Your FIL isn't going to do any of that therefore the dog isn't going to be safe around your dc.

LimpidPools Mon 08-Jul-19 12:02:48

Your in-laws sound like terrible dog owners - Jack Russells can be stubborn, but they need anti-social habits training out of them just as much as any other dog. And Jack Russell puppies do like to jump. They also like to bite things like sleeves and dangle off them with their little needle teeth grin That's more fun for adults than toddlers!

And I'm afraid your DH's half sister sounds like a terrible backstreet breeder. Although the puppy is completely adorable, it's also a mongrel, bred from breeds that people have prejudices against. Nobody should be breeding more of those on purpose, it's not fair on the dogs.

Fucksandflowers Mon 08-Jul-19 12:52:23

The breed is irrelevant really, it wouldn't matter what breed it was if your in laws have that awful attitude the dog will grow up to a boisterous, jumpy, bitey menace regardless.

DH half sister is, i think, an absolute liar.

I have seen plenty of jacks, there is a lot of variation in looks granted but as someone else said, they don't come in brindle so that alone points to a cross.

Staffies on the other hand absolutely do come in brindle and the pup certainly does have a staffy look about him.

Very cute.

Until he matures and your in laws find him uncontrollable (due to poor training) and rehome him that is.

joystir59 Mon 08-Jul-19 12:58:25

It isn't a pure JRT, and let's hope it grows up unlike a JRT and soft and silly. Wouldn't let our JRT any where near a baby. JRT is the breed most likely to bite a human.

Fucksandflowers Mon 08-Jul-19 13:02:44

JRT is the breed most likely to bite a human

It's actually the Dachshund.
Or at least it was in the most recent survey.

ememem84 Mon 08-Jul-19 13:14:50

I’m glad to know other people think the same as me.

If I’m honest I was almost hoping puppy would take a good bite of either me or dh and we’d have even more of an excuse not to go round!

I know any dog can be badly behaved if not trained. But I’ve no doubt it’ll be a molly coddled spoiled one. If it does wrong it won’t be it’s fault. It’ll be whoever’s there.

But ds’ (and new baby’s) safety and well-being is paramount on this.

OP’s posts: |
joystir59 Mon 08-Jul-19 13:15:36

I read it was the JRT but I do know daschunds are well known biters.

ememem84 Mon 08-Jul-19 13:21:05

Also thanks to you all for the advice.

I’m not a dog owner so haven’t had to deal with puppies or training or anything really. Would love one but working full time almost 2 kids etc not fair on dog. Maybe one day of circumstances change.

I’ll work on training ds not to be afraid. And to respect all dogs (and all animals come to that) And to come to dh or me if he feels scared (which he does). And we just need to remove him from the situation.

OP’s posts: |
FranklySonImTheGaffer Mon 08-Jul-19 13:30:15

Can you ensure your DS spends time around calm dogs who have responsible owners? Get them to help him understand more about them and what they are like.
Also, being afraid of one untrained, jumpy, nippy dog is not the same as being scared of dogs! I was bitten by a collie. I was afraid of that dog, not all dogs or collies.

All DS needs to know is not hurt dogs, not to approach dogs, especially if he doesn't know them, or run from them and To call you / DH loudly and firmly if he needs help.

Would also say here - breed doesn't generally matter. The owners matter. A well trained pit bull is always going to be better around people than an untrained poodle for example.

bellinisurge Mon 08-Jul-19 13:38:00

My in-laws got a JR puppy just before dd was born. Apart from a silent WTAF I didn't make any negative comments to them. They are also crap at training him and need training themselves. BUT .... dd and JR are now 12. They love each other and JR has always been clear that he is the junior member of the pack. In short, his behaviour outside my in-laws home is terrible- barking aggressively at every dog - but inside and with dd it's great.
I have told dh that I maintain a careful eye on the dog's behaviour and if I am concerned, we will stay away.

Floralnomad Mon 08-Jul-19 13:45:20

Why should the OP compromise , I’m a dog owner and I don’t take my dog visiting unless he has been specifically invited , I wouldn’t dream of taking him into a dog free household without asking first .

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