Not wanting to play

(34 Posts)
doggydramas Sun 07-Jul-19 21:37:15

So from a young age I’ve been training my springer that I’m the most exciting thing to play with, not other dogs! Apparently this is what you are meant to do.
She’s 10 months now, and pretty much ignores all dogs. She’s happy just sniffing around or playing ball with me.
So many times this week other owners have let their dogs bound over to her, and pin her down, jump on her, harass her and she just ignores them.
Today 2 dog owners told me that I should be teaching her to play with their dogs.
The dogs today were not engaging in 50/50 play with her, they were just bowling her over and pinning her down.
She goes to dog daycare once a week and socialises beautifully. They tell me she doesn’t pester other dogs and her manners are lovely and she takes cues well from the other dogs when they don’t want her approaching them.
Should I really be encouraging her to rough house with other dogs when she’s not interested?

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OverFedStanley Sun 07-Jul-19 22:03:44

No your are right do not be swayed by others who do not know your dog. Just give them a very wide berth to allow your dog a peaceful walk

doggydramas Sun 07-Jul-19 22:06:24

They act like it’s weird that my puppy doesn’t want to play. She’s not aggressive in any way, just wants to play catch and sniff the floor in peace!

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Dodahdodah Sun 07-Jul-19 22:08:25

This really annoys me. My dog only wants to play with me, which is fine with me. I hate it when other dogs pounce on her and when she obviously doesn’t want to play, the owners get arsey. I’ve been sworn and shouted at but what can you do? It’s no wonder some dogs have no manners....

pigsDOfly Sun 07-Jul-19 23:37:52

My dog's the same. Just wants to do her own thing and play games with me.

Very occasionally a dog will approach her and she'll be willing to engage with them, but it's only ever dog's who approach in a polite manner that she'll be okay with, and preferably those of her, own small size; with polite big dogs she tends to go into submissive mode and lies down for them to sniff her.

Those dogs that fly at her and want to rough house she will want nothing to do with.

Those owners are idiots. There's nothing praise worthy or desirable about having a dog that has no manners.

BiteyShark Mon 08-Jul-19 05:46:55

My cocker is the same. He only wants to play with me when we are out but he is happy to play with other dogs at daycare.

Ignore the other owners. They are just projecting their teaching onto you. I was told by a gundog trainer that the dogs should be focused on you and not other dogs. You are doing the right thing.

I have met similar owners and their dogs either have sketchy recall or they use other dogs to exercise their own by 'playing'.

newmomof1 Mon 08-Jul-19 05:52:20

My dog is massively nervous and people always let their dogs come over and try to play with him and find it funny when he tries to run away.

There are a couple of dogs his size that he's got braver with, so he no longer runs away and instead fronts it out and plays with them.

He's only 2.5kg but very agile, so ends up overpowering them.
The owners don't find it funny anymore!

You're doing the right thing. Ignore the idiots.


doggydramas Mon 08-Jul-19 08:39:03

I’m glad I’m not the only one!
Now to think of what to say to the owners when they allow their dogs to repeatedly harass mine and pin her down.

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BiteyShark Mon 08-Jul-19 08:52:14

* Now to think of what to say to the owners when they allow their dogs to repeatedly harass mine and pin her down.*

I honestly think you have two choices.

Develop a thick skin and tell them to recall their dog. However, I have found that the owners that allow their dogs to do that get all defensive so it's pointless as they think it's perfect behaviour and you should toughen up your dog angry.

Simply walk off calling your dog and if their dog follows ignore it or occasionally turn round and say an assertive NO to it. I tend to do this because often their dog has poor recall and they then panic that their dog will follow you and get lost and then will give you a wide birth.

dottiedodah Mon 08-Jul-19 09:00:43

All you need to do is smile and say ,shes not very keen on other dogs really ,just wants her ball!.Say she is ball obsessed.Many dogs esp Collies are like this a lot.My dog likes to play ,but doesnt like being pinned down !.This is a dominance issue where the bigger dog will try to exert its power !.Shes having fun in Doggy Day Care where she is playing with other well trained dogs!.Can you vary your walks to a different place sometimes?.Relax you are doing really well its they who have the problems !

SophyStantonLacy Mon 08-Jul-19 09:05:10

What should you do with a young puppy who wants to greet every dog he sees? We were on the beach yesterday & it was SO busy with holidaymakers etc as well - I kept him on the lead so he didn't get to greet everybody, but of course sometimes he did. I say "he's a puppy, he hasn't got any manners but would like to say hello"? Is this okay? Always worried I am breaking dog owning rules!

BiteyShark Mon 08-Jul-19 09:15:57

Sophy do you want him to greet other dogs or think he can? Because I would be trying to train him to focus on you and reward that behaviour when out and about. I prefer my dog to play and greet other dogs in appropriate situations such as daycare or training classes (and then it's a quick greeting then we get on with it).

SophyStantonLacy Mon 08-Jul-19 09:26:07

I don't know, I thought he was supposed to learn he couldn't necessarily greet other dogs but that sometimes he could? Should he never be socialising with other dogs?

doggydramas Mon 08-Jul-19 09:31:11

We were told the 3 second rule. Let your dog greet every 1 in 5 dogs as long as both dogs are happy with this, and only for 3 seconds and move on.

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doggydramas Mon 08-Jul-19 09:31:51

And all play off the lead should be 50/50.
If one dog is dominating or the other doesn’t want to play then remove the dog immediately.

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Alwaysgrey Mon 08-Jul-19 09:34:50

Oh my god how do you teach your dog they just want to play with you? My 7 month old poodle wants to play with dogs over me every time.

BiteyShark Mon 08-Jul-19 09:58:06

I used to get my dog on a lead if I saw other dogs in the distance.

I then would walk away from them and get him to sit whilst the other dog passed us. He then got a praise and off lead once they had passed. This required me to walk in places that allowed this so the other dog naturally followed the path whilst we waited off the path a reasonable distance away. I found after a while (we are talking months of training) if he spotted an off lead dog he would naturally run back to me and when he did this I would sometimes walk away with him but other times allow us to walk past off lead but then call him away so he knew to follow me. It taught him to check with me about approaching other dogs when we were walking and now he doesn't even want to approach them.

Sophy it depends on what you want from your dog. I wanted one that wouldn't run away hunting and playing unless it was in the right circumstances. I never want him to play with strangers dogs as I have no idea of their training or temperament. He gets to play with known dogs only. I have seen too many dogs coming into the vets attacked by other dogs when out 'playing' or walking.

Alwaysgrey you have to find out what motivates your dog. In the teenage phase that's bloody hard as they don't want to be with you anyway but I found hunting and chasing balls was much more fun for my dog than treats or other dogs. During the teenage phase I used to walk in remote places to avoid other dogs so he didn't get rewarded with running off.

Dodahdodah Mon 08-Jul-19 13:18:57

I asked a guy to stop his dog harassing mine and his response was "he only wants to play, that's what dogs do, you silly little woman".

I responded with, "mine doesn't want to play, you silly little man".

Another thing, what if your dog is elderly or arthritic or something? Some people are just so inconsiderate allowing their dogs to harass other dogs. angry

pigsDOfly Mon 08-Jul-19 14:07:38

Alwaysgrey You need to make yourself the most exciting thing in the park so your dog finds you more interesting than other dogs.

Lots of games and training, with toys and without, hiding and letting your dog find you games, lots of excitement and treats when he recalls well. Use a high pitched excited voice and don't worry about other park users thinking you're weird.

I walk away if another dog is overwhelming mine, and I have had dogs follow us almost to the other side of a good sized park.

I find telling them to 'go away' every so often does work eventually, even with one very determined large dog who seemed to be more interested in me than my dog, and no I don't have treats on me.

I don't understand owners who stand and watch while their dog bothers another dog and owner.

Having said that when I walk away calling my dog, the owner of the other dog will usually start to call their dog back eventually, but funnily enough the dog almost always ignores them until it gets bored with us ignoring it and decides to go back.

missbattenburg Mon 08-Jul-19 16:57:30

Now to think of what to say to the owners when they allow their dogs to repeatedly harass mine and pin her down.

I'll admit to using the old classic a few times which I cottoned onto when Battendog was ill a while back. I point at him and yell "He's has conjunctivitis and it's very contagious!!"

Other dog is recalled instantly grin

I still use this when I'm just not in the mood to bother explaining, asking nicely, getting grumpy etc.

doggydramas Mon 08-Jul-19 18:52:48

About to take her out for a walk so I’ll try the contagious line!

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Walney Tue 09-Jul-19 11:22:55

I let mine play with other dogs as it brings her enjoyment, but always in an environment where I can quickly recall her or put her on a lead. Unfortunately in the doggy social group I am in the minority of recognising not all dogs want to play, so i'll be the only one putting my dog back on lead or keeping an eye out. Other members of the group complain about dog owners not letting their dogs play, which is not the right attitude as some dogs are nervous, reactive and there will be a reason why they aren't being socialised.

My dog is also nearly constantly harassed by male un neutered dogs (she's getting spayed at the beginning of August) to the point where a couple of male dogs have hurt her. So I can fully understand these views, as an owner who likes my dog to socialise, even we get harassed by other dogs while the owners seem to think the humping and pinning my dog down is funny. Its really unfair that my dog can't play and be relaxed, shes always on alert for a dog trying to sniff her and hump her just because very few people neuter their dogs (it is primarily un neutered ones, neutered males show no interest in her).

doggydramas Wed 10-Jul-19 07:06:57

I wonder if that’s why she gets harassed more?
She’s not had her first season so can’t be spayed yet.
And yes it’s unneutered dogs thar harass her the most.
Never thought that could be why.
Always had boy dogs before.

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Walney Wed 10-Jul-19 07:46:36

She has had a season (as recommended by breeder) and is due to be spayed beginning of August. I was just mentioning about responsible dog ownership which seems to be the aim of this thread (not letting your dog play with on lead dogs or ones that don't want to play) and that my experience is that I am personally fed up of dogs leaping on, scaring and upsetting my dog, it happens even when she is on lead and 2 1/2 months after her season finished, I kept her away the entire time she was in season and a bit before/after. I know un neutered dogs can also do it, but it is very noticeably un neutered males that are horrible to her when they are definitely old enough to be neutered. One particularly big (off lead, no collar) male pinned her down and tried biting her neck and nearly bit me when rescuing her, all while the owner laughed and found it funny.

doggydramas Wed 10-Jul-19 08:26:24

It’s horrible isn’t it.
Our main problem is a lovely old man, he’s very friendly, but he has mobility issues and walks with 2 sticks.
He’s just bought a boy Labrador puppy and has absolutely no recall for him whatsoever!
He’s usually a field or 2 behind while my dog is getting pinned down by his chunky 8 month old lab!
And he’s of the school of “take her ball away so she plays with other dogs”
Going to avoid where he walks for a while I think!

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