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so knackered with my new puppy

(46 Posts)
SophyStantonLacy Fri 24-May-19 09:39:22

We brought home a 9 week old lab/pointer exactly a week ago. He is obviously adorable & bringing lots of joy, but also a lot of work! My main struggle with with the nights. I am concerned about seperation anxiety etc so really don't want to cry it out with him, but I've been sleeping on a camp bed in the kitchen next to his crate for the last week, getting up every 2 hours & I am not happy! I did this with my babies for years & I'm feeling really stressed being in this position again. He is happy with his crate during the day, he just wants to check in several times during the night - I've managed to move my camp bed from right beside him to the other side of the kitchen, so we are making progress... I know it is to be expected but argh!

Happy to take advice/commiseration!

OP’s posts: |
Chipsnchampagne Fri 24-May-19 12:36:53

Can you put the crate next to your bed in the bedroom for now so at least you are on a proper bed? Is he waking you up every two hours or are you getting up to take him to the toilet every two hours?

SophyStantonLacy Fri 24-May-19 12:40:03

I could, but for long & boring reasons it can’t go anywhere else eg on the landing upstairs, so not sure how we would then get him out of the room!

He wakes up every 2 hours & I take him to the toilet as he’s awake!

OP’s posts: |
Pipandmum Fri 24-May-19 12:49:30

I can’t believe you are doing that! I crate trained my dogs. Last trip outside before I went to bed then crate. Left them in the kitchen (not at the same time they weren’t puppies together). Then up early (say 6) to take them out immediately. Routine was key and rarely did they mess the crate. They must have cried a bit initially but I never went down unless there was some commotion after being quiet for some time but that rarely happened. They wee only crated during the day if I had to go out or there was a lot going on and needed to keep them out of the way. Didn’t need the crate after they were house trained but kept it as their little den for a while. They’re dogs. Not babies.

Costacoffeeplease Fri 24-May-19 12:53:30

I’m not sure what you expected? He’s a baby and been with you a week? It won’t last forever

I’m bottle feeding 2 newborn abandoned pups, so up every 3 hours - you do what you have to do

SophyStantonLacy Fri 24-May-19 13:03:25

Truthfully Costa, I didn’t expect to be up every 2 hours with him. Maybe I was naive. Friends all claimed they never had sleepless nights with their puppies so I thought maybe I would be up once or twice. I know it’s temporary but it’s still been a bit of an unpleasant surprise!

OP’s posts: |
BiteyShark Fri 24-May-19 13:14:44

Friends all claimed they never had sleepless nights with their puppies
Ah yes I remember people saying that their puppy was easy and they breezed through and loved it. Just makes you feel even worse as you think wtf am I doing wrong shock.

There are lots of different things you can do for night but I think you just have to find the right one for you.

I didn't sleep in the same room but I did have a baby monitor to watch him. When mine cried I did take him outside in case he wanted a toilet break but I did it with no interaction and very quickly so if he didn't pee he went back in his crate and I walked away (again with no interaction). If he cried again he was left a little bit to see if he settled as I could watch him on the monitor. He did soon get the message that at night it was pee or sleep but no play.

Good luck, it won't last forever but yes it's very tiring at the beginning.

CMOTDibbler Fri 24-May-19 13:24:37

I foster puppies, so have had a lot of experience in the last few years. They are all different, and people have very short memories of what their puppy was like in the first couple of weeks.
Things change very quickly, and if you make your pup confident, then it will be better in the long term. Just keep moving your bed away - 7 nights ago he was cuddled up with his siblings and mum so it is a huge change.

Summerorjustmaybe Fri 24-May-19 13:28:31

Mm dpuppy indeed. .... Pics or we don't believe you...

Costacoffeeplease Fri 24-May-19 14:41:36

Yes very easy to forget the hell of a new puppy. I do it every time and I’ve lost count of how many I’ve had

QueenOfDarts Fri 24-May-19 14:47:48

My puppy is 10 weeks on Monday and has been with us for just under 2 weeks. Do you fancy forming a puppy support thread together OP? I’d looked for one but there isn’t one currently active.

I had a few sleepless nights with mine, although a lot of that was I wasn’t comfortably sleeping on the sofa near her crate, and it was taking me a while to settle back to sleep after being up with her. I slept downstairs with her for 4 nights. The breakthrough happened when I put the crate next to my bed in our bedroom (and DH slept on the sofa as he doesn’t want to sleep with a dog in the bedroom). She settled so well that first night. Repeat of the same the next two nights. Meanwhile, I trained her to be comfortable in her crate during the day by leaving the door open and putting treats in there, and sitting beside her while she had a nap in her crate.

After those 3 nights in my room, we put the crate back down in the living room. She goes in herself now or allows me to put her in there when she’s sleepy around 10:30pmish, after a last wee. I wait until she’s asleep then go to bed upstairs. She’s sleeping in without soiling her crate until between 5:45-6:45am.

QueenOfDarts Fri 24-May-19 14:51:16

Should add that another breakthrough was when I moved the downstairs location of her crate from the kitchen to the living room. I think she just prefers it in there, so if you have the option, maybe try moving her crate to your living room?

Aquilla Fri 24-May-19 14:58:11

Stop it. Stop it now!

mydogisthebest Fri 24-May-19 14:58:23

Me and DH took it in turns to sleep downstairs on the settee with our puppy in his crate next to us. We gradually moved the crate away from the settee. Think it took about two and a half weeks before we left him alone downstairs.

I am a bit surprised that you are needing to get up to him every 2 hours. What we did was if pup woke and cried we would speak softly to him and stroke him. Most of the time he went back to sleep. If he didn't we would take him the garden to see if he needed to pee or poo.

Even as young as 9 weeks I don't think he should need to toilet every 2 hours. I know my puppy definitely didn't. At the beginning we probably got up twice in the night but it quickly became once. Our puppy was house trained in just over a week though so we knew if he cried he needed to do something

OverFedStanley Fri 24-May-19 16:08:03

Why are you getting up every two hours?

If he is asleep let him sleep do not wake him up to go out. If he is waking every two hours encourage him back to sleep dont take him out each time

Usually with puppies I aim for last wee 11.00ish then let them sleep until about if you are lucky 6.00ish.

Do not teach them to wake to wee at regular intervals.

You are super human to have survived this for a week - respect!

QueenOfDarts Fri 24-May-19 16:39:57

Yes those sort of hours OverFedStanley described are what my puppy has been doing wee-free for the last week (she’s 10 weeks on Monday).

lorisparkle Fri 24-May-19 17:17:41

My best advice is to join the Facebook group 'dog training advice and support '. I wish I had known about it when we bought home our lab puppy. We had a week of unsettled nights and did what you are doing and then one night he slept through and has been fine since. The other website I would recommend is The Labrador Site. I have found it really interesting and useful. Puppies are hard work and we went through 'the puppy blues' soon after getting ours but whilst still hard work things are much better now.

MarleyMooChick Fri 24-May-19 21:33:13

Try putting something in the crate that smells of you. I used to sleep in old t-shirts to put in with my puppy.

MultipleMum5 Fri 24-May-19 21:59:25

It’s not a baby op wink

We have a 5 month pup. I left her to cry... she was let out for a wee before midnight, I got up with her at 6 to let her out. She did mess the crate sometimes. BUT she got used to the routine and gradually I moved bedtime earlier and morning time later- she will happily sleep 10-7 now. She did cry but I didn’t go to her. Sometimes I stayed with her till dropped to sleep then crept out. But she got used to being left alone. Many people on this thread will disagree with this advice and advise you to stick to her like Velcro, but this was the advice from my very experienced breeder and it worked. It’s hard but pays off in the end.

mydogisthebest Fri 24-May-19 22:13:09

I don't agree with letting a puppy cry at all. Most people would not leave a baby to cry so why a puppy? They are in a strange place having left their mum and siblings. I think it's cruel.

The breeder of my puppy would be horrified if any new owner left one of her puppies to cry and I don't know of any reputable trainer that would advise it either

Mnbb Fri 24-May-19 22:19:01

I grew up on a farm and we always had at least two dogs. I have had dogs ever since. The idea of sleeping downstairs with a puppy is astonishing to me, I’ve never even thought of doing such a thing.

Booboostwo Sat 25-May-19 08:01:43

Puppies are exactly like babies. They are very different and have different needs. You can get one who sleeps the whole night through from the beginning or one that struggles for months. Luckily the grow out of this phase much faster than human babies so you should see an improvement soon. Be reassured that you are doing the right thing giving the puppy what it needs at this vulnerable stage in its life - this will pay dividends later.

MsMustDoBetter Sat 25-May-19 08:08:46

We just let our puppy cry it out and after two nights she was fine. She loves her crate and is quite happy in there - she certainly doesn't rush out in the morning!

We have stated as we mean to go on with our puppy - kept our usual routine and left her for up to 3 hours. She is absolutely fine, doesn't destroy the house, or whine. We leave out chews, toys and kongs and put Radio 4 on for her.

mydogisthebest Sat 25-May-19 09:04:44

It would never have crossed my mind not to sleep downstairs with a young puppy who is scared.

The first night we had him our pup cried a fair bit which wasn't surprising really. He had had a 6 hour car journey and was in a strange place with strange smells and no sign of his mum or siblings. You would have to be pretty heartless just to leave him to cry.

It's only for a week or so anyway so why a problem? It's not like posters are suggesting sitting up with them night after night.

People have to get up countless times in the night for a baby and for far longer and yet can't be bothered for a puppy!

PeoniesarePink Sat 25-May-19 09:13:34

I remember thinking WTF have I done when our puppy was around 10-12 weeks. Even though we had another dog, it was still hard work.

Ours didn't like being crated, so we made her a safe area using a playpen type thing (you can get them second hand) and she snuggled into bed with our other dog. And mine always have a t shirt or nightie of mine that they've pulled out of the laundry basket!

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