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When do you know the ends almost near?

(41 Posts)
Lovemusic33 Tue 21-May-19 15:39:19

My pooch is getting old, she had major surgery 18 months ago and since then has turned into a old lady, no longer chases her ball, sleeps a lot, no longer jumps up at visitors and can’t go far for a walk before wanting to come home. She has tremors in her back legs and today they have got worse, we have been to the vets for some pain killers and anti inflammatories to see if that helps. I know she’s possibly got stuff going on internally, she’s lost a bit of weight and she just looks old. I don’t want her picked around by the vet because it will just stress her out and cost a fortune just to be told what I already know. Other than the tremors and the struggling to get up on the sofa she seems comfortable (hopefully pain killers will help her feel even more comfortable) but I have a feeling the end is near and I know I will have to eventually make the choice to put her to sleep but how do I know when that time is?

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longearedbat Tue 21-May-19 17:12:02

With our last dog, he had been going downhill for a long time, but then one day he didn't want to even step out of the front door. Up to that point he had enjoyed going out for his daily amble and sniff (they were no longer really walks). He just had a very pained look in his eyes. Okay, he probably could have soldiered on for a few weeks, but for me it was the end of the line. One by one all the things he enjoyed had become difficult or impossible for him. Without at least a little walk he was doomed to spend his time struggling painfully round the house and garden. That was no life for him. We had him pts at home a couple of days later, on the sofa in front of the fire. We miss him terribly, even though that was two and a half years ago and we got a new puppy quite quickly. I love her, but I also loved him. It's a horrible decision, but, tbh, if I was ancient and wracked with pain, I think I would chose to die on the sofa in front of the fire rather than linger unhappily. We did the best we could for him. I am sure you will do your best for your dog.

BiteyShark Tue 21-May-19 17:14:55

So sorry you are in that position OP thanks.

Maybe it's time to have a frank discussion with your vet on what to try that isn't stressful or invasive.

Then it's a matter of keeping track of all the things she loves doing and making sure you don't leave it until she no longer enjoys them thanks

Lovemusic33 Tue 21-May-19 17:20:42

She’s still enjoying lying in the garden and following me around, she’s just much slower, she’s still eating like a horse and seems happy.

The vet wants to see her in 4 weeks to see if the anti inflammatories are helping, obviously if they are not helping then we will need to discus what happens next sad. She’s 12 but she’s purebred (they tend to not live as long as mix breeds?).

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BurnerPhone Tue 21-May-19 17:33:31

My girl is in a similar position, she keeps getting these cyst abscesses and she's had 3 operations in 2 years to remove them and each time she seems to take longer to recover and has become more anxious and well "old". I've just noticed another one by her tail and I really don't want to take her to the vet because I know they will say it needs to be drained and sorted and she is too feisty to let them do it whilst she's awake. I'm going to see how she goes, the last one she kept biting it so I had to take her in because she wouldn't leave it alone, she hasn't seemed to notice this one yet. Such a heartbreaking decision. I think if your dog is still eating and walking and generally her usual self she has some time left but you will know when it's time to go in. thanksthanks

user1471465525 Tue 21-May-19 21:25:21

Our old girl was still enjoying her food up until the day we had to put her asleep but her tail stopped wagging when she saw us and didn't want to go for her usual little ramble round the garden .I think you will just know when it's time as you can almost see it their eyes.Hugs to you.

Lovemusic33 Tue 28-May-19 08:23:19

Got woken up at 4am by a poorly pooch. We are off to the vets soon sad. I’m not sure if it’s something she has eaten, a blockage or if she’s just reaching the end. I’m worried about making the choice to open her up (if it’s a blockage) or having her PTS. She had surgery after a blockage 18 months ago and hasn’t been the same since, I’m not sure I would want to put her through that again. There’s also the fact she’s no longer insured (insurance won’t touch her after last time), last time cost me £3000.

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cheesenpickles Tue 28-May-19 08:35:02

Our pup had a number of lifelong chronic conditions that he had when we got him as a rescue. Over the years things got a little bit worse and then we had a horrendous incident with a food manufacturer who gave us the wrong measurements for his food. Thankfully a trip to the vet rectified it but he was never quite the same. He started getting more and more incontinent, wouldn't jump up when we came home and started poohing in his sleep.

When we took him to the vet he perked up a bit but leaked everywhere he stood. The vet took one look at his notes and suggested it. Miss him terribly still.

Awesomeo90 Tue 28-May-19 08:40:53

Honestly I wouldn't put a 12year old dog through surgery. Its too much and they are more likely to have complications in aftercare. Realistically you seem to be at the stage where treatment will only prolong her life and let her live pain free- she's not going to get better. It's so much better to put to sleep earlier than to let them reach the stage where they are in a lot of pain, can't move properly, are incontinent etc. Euthanasia is a hard thing to decide on but actually it's a lovely thing to be able to save your dog from that pain. Just ask yourself if you'd want it to end if you were in her position?

Lovemusic33 Tue 28-May-19 08:47:39

Awesome I agree. I just checked her DOB and she’s 11.5 (not yet 12) but for her breed that’s quite old. She hasn’t been right since the last surgery (she had 2 blockages after eating something). She has arthritis in her back legs, her teeth are not great and she has tremors. I think the vet is likely to give me something to try and settle her stomach but she is showing signs of having a blockage (wether it’s something she has eaten or a tumour), I think the best option would be to scan her and see if there is a blockage and if there is then not to wake her? sad.

She’s currently curled up next to me, hasn’t been sick for a hour or so, she has asked for breakfast but I can’t feed her until we have been to the vets.

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Figure8 Tue 28-May-19 08:59:21

My dog went downhill for ages, then one day, we just knew. She had been incontinent for ages, but this time she didn't seem to notice or care that she was laying in poo.

The vet was brilliant. She said many dogs eat as normal even though they may be in pain.
My dogs back legs were going as well, and I desperately didnt want her to collapse and be stuck, and in distress. I especially didnt want that to happen while we we out.

She could have soldiered on for a few more weeks, but her ending would have been awful. She was ready to go, and I am so relieved that I made the decision to end all future suffering for her. The vet said we did the kindest thing.

I'm so sorry you're going through this..

Awesomeo90 Tue 28-May-19 09:17:49

I had my Springer put to sleep last year - he was only 8 but he had a huge tumour on his back leg and amputation was his only option, and even that wouldn't guarantee the cancer wouldn't spread. I felt awful because he was still young, fairly happy and there was a treatment available. However, when I took him to be euthanised the vet said " I didn't want to put pressure on you but I'm really glad you've made this decision" Sometimes it really is kinder than putting them through long term treatment for a reduced quality of life. You wouldn't be a bad person to just decide to have her put to sleep now rather than bother with scans and things, but only you can make that judgement. My personal opinion is better a day early than a day late. I have my fingers crossed for you whichever option you chose x

Lovemusic33 Tue 28-May-19 10:14:38

I have left her at the vets, she’s having a X-ray to see if she has a blockage, I have told the vet not to operate sad, I feel terrible but I don’t want to put her through surgery. She hardly made a sound in the car, happily stood on the scales at the vets, didn’t growl when I lifted her onto the table (like she usually does), she led down on the table winced when they poked her tummy sad. I was hopping they would knock her right out for the X-ray, that way if they found something then they could just not wake her but they are just lightly sedating her. I have a feeling I will be going back after lunch to sit with her when they put her to sleep and I’m dreading it.

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BurnerPhone Tue 28-May-19 10:35:04

thanks heartbreaking for you, if it's her time to go then be there with her and she will know how loved she is xx

Lovemusic33 Tue 28-May-19 12:22:11

She’s still with us.
She has/had a blockage in her bowel (mainly poo and gas), the vet has given her a enema, she also has pancreatis (sp) so they are giving her a blood test to see if something else has caused that but it’s possible the blockage has caused it. They are pumping her full of fluids, antibiotics and anti sickness meds and are xraying her again at 4pm, if all is clear she can hopefully come home this evening. There’s a high chance the blood tests could show something much more serious but they are hoping it’s just caused by eating something that bunged her up (she ate a burger which fell off the bbq on Sunday and was stupidly fed bacon, not by me). At the moment she is comfortable.

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Walkamileinmyshoesbeforeujudge Tue 28-May-19 12:30:04

Ime ddogs rally round when you least expect it. My ddog has just had a cancerous tumour removed. A 'funny turn' and £400 in blood tests later, no diagnosis and a ddog that is back to her old self-unlike my bank account. She is ten soon and I feared the end was near.
She has other ideas.
Fingers (and paws) crossed for your lovely pooch too op.

Lovemusic33 Tue 28-May-19 12:34:05

Thank you.
I cant believe we are in the same position as we were 2 years ago (her pancreas was a mess last time), last time she pulled through but she slowed down a lot since. Hopefully the blockage has been cleared by the enema and blood tests won’t show anything nasty. My bank account is going to take a beating, I’m guessing at least £500 so far.

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Lovemusic33 Wed 29-May-19 04:29:41

The vet let me bring her home last night, the blockage had moved but not cleared, I was shown the X-ray and her tummy is full of gass (behind the blockage), the vet wanted to give her the night to see if it would shift before considering putting her to sleep, she said she looked too bright and felt she deserved a chance. They took her off the drip to allow her to come home as she was stressed at the vets, we thought she would be more settled at home. It’s now 4.30am and I have had hardly any sleep, she’s unsettled and uncomfortable, her tummy is bloated, have managed to get her to pass a tiny bit of wind but the poo hasn’t shifted, it’s not looking good sad, it’s horrible seeing her like this. I have to take her back at 9.45am, if the blockage hasn’t cleared then I have to make the choice to put her through surgery or PTS, I don’t feel it’s fair to put her through surgery. My bill is already around £700 and could easily double if she goes to surgery and they could still find a tumour when they open her up. Her bloods came back with high cholesterol, and slightly low white blood cells.

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Crunched Wed 29-May-19 04:38:04

A long night with your lovely old girl then. I’m sure she is pleased you are by her side. She must know how you love her.
All the best today flowers

Lovemusic33 Wed 29-May-19 04:59:17

She hasn’t left my side all night, I moved onto the other sofa to try and get some sleep and she followed me. This is so hard as she still seems very active, still wags her tail. She’s now led next to me and seems a bit more relaxed. I am shattered, 2 nights with no sleep and I have to face the next bit with her which will probably be saying goodbye.

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HKBJC Wed 29-May-19 05:15:08

When it is time do try to stay with her, whispering in her ear what a good girl she is and holding and stroking her as she slips away. She will feel so loved and reassured that you’re there. So hard.

Lovemusic33 Wed 29-May-19 05:46:25

I have called the vet sad I can’t see her carrying on like this until 9.45am, she is quieter now but is obviously in some pain. Waiting for vet to call back to see if I need to take her in or if they can come to me.

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BiteyShark Wed 29-May-19 06:35:49

My thoughts are with you both thanks

Lovemusic33 Wed 29-May-19 06:48:35

She’s even wagged her tail into the vets. It was very peaceful. I’m a mess 😢

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wheelwarrior Wed 29-May-19 06:54:51

So sorry but you did the right thing for her flowers

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