I feel like I've lost my best friend. Advice on how to get through losing a dog

(44 Posts)
rosesinmygarden Tue 21-May-19 10:54:29

My beautiful 6 year old dog was put to sleep last Thursday.

I took her to the vets woth a swollen tummy and by lunch time she was in surgery to have her spleen removed. They discovered tumours all over her body and advised me to euthanize her while under the anaesthetic.

I cannot believe my beautiful girl is gone.

I feel like I have a huge empty hole in me. She was my shadow. As i worked from home and everywhere i look, she should be there.

How do I start to feel better?

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purpleme12 Tue 21-May-19 10:56:03

I don't know I miss mine so much

rosesinmygarden Tue 21-May-19 11:00:02

I'm supposed to be working. I work from home, but I've clocked up the very grand total of 45 minutes since it happened.

I keep thinking I'll feel better in the morning and the morning comes and it's no better.

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elQuintoConyo Tue 21-May-19 11:01:32

(((hugs)))

That must have been such a shock, I'm so sorry. You didn't really get the chance to say goodbye, did you? That's going to hurt forever.

Be kind to yourself. I'd make myself a little album, like a Hoffman printed book, of all the loveliest photos I could find, and have massive uncontrollable snotty sobs as I made it.

flowers

rosesinmygarden Tue 21-May-19 11:02:57

My beautiful girl just 2 weeks ago enjoying a walk after a swim.

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Villanellesproudmum Tue 21-May-19 11:04:22

Are you having her cremated, if so you could organise a little memorial in your garden or scatter her ashes on her favourite walk. It’s so hard, I had a lovely painting commissioned when I lost me childhood dog.

MyBlueMoonbeam Tue 21-May-19 11:08:27

I'm so sorry - have lost many four legged friends & it never gets any easier.

We've always had multiple dogs though so they have given us comfort during the grieving process.

Expect to do lots of crying - the loss is real & heart wrenching - not "just a dog" ever - you've lost a friend and family member.

When the time is right maybe look at giving a rescue dog a home? The love they give is priceless.

Sending very best wishes.

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rosesinmygarden Tue 21-May-19 11:10:27

I insisted on going to see her at the vets fpr a few minutes before her surgery. I am very grateful that they let me. I didn't know for sure that it was the end but I suspected.

My daughter and husband didn't even get to do that. Having read up on her prognosis, I'm glad we didn't bring her home as she would have lasted days and been in pain.

I know that I will feel better but this has got me like a bus.

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Bookworm4 Tue 21-May-19 11:12:34

Rest easy lovely girl xx
I have 3 dogs and we lost our 7 yr old girl to cancer last year, I miss her every day but the others do keep me busy, when you feel the time is right please adopt another dog that could feel the love your girl did.
Love & hugs to you xx

rosesinmygarden Tue 21-May-19 11:13:34

Thank you ladies. The vets are organising her cremation and we will get her ashes back. We've discussed scattering them at her favourite swimming spot.

We were always the family with the dog that other people watch and laugh at. She was larger than life and her nick name was asbo dog as she couldn't go anywhere with out leaving a trail of destruction. My house and garden are now far too clean!

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rosesinmygarden Tue 21-May-19 11:14:54

And yes, I would consider a rescue. Not yet, but one day.

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rosesinmygarden Tue 21-May-19 11:15:45

So sorry to hear about all your losses too. 6 years ago I'd never have dreamed that an animal could mean so much to me.

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DuchessAnnogovia Tue 21-May-19 11:29:59

Oh my lovely I am so sorry for your loss. Our pets certainly leave their paw prints on our hearts.

My soppy big girl had to be PTS at nearly 5 years old. She slipped on a glass tile outside, twisted funnily and after getting her to the vets she had a spinal fracture. It was irreparable. It broke my heart. I kept myself really busy, but for months after I expected for her to come bounding in for cuddles.

We couldn't face having another dog for nearly 3 years, but have recently adopted a puppy. I still miss my doggie dustbin so much, but getting the four legged fiendish puppy has helped. (My big girl on the left, the mad puppy on the right) thanks

rosesinmygarden Tue 21-May-19 12:14:32

Oh my, they are both so beautiful Duchess. They both remind me of my girl, those big goofy grins make them irresistible.

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doodleygirl Tue 21-May-19 12:22:06

I’m so sorry, what a beautiful girl flowers

spiderlight Tue 21-May-19 16:06:33

I am so, so sorry. It's just awful, and more so when they're young and it's unexpected. You did the right thing by her, but it must hurt so much flowers

We lost our beloved boy in January - we'd had him nearly 15 years, and like you I work from home so he'd been my shadow and companion all day every day. It was awful at first, I was just so empty and lost, and I went days on end without leaving the house because I had no need to. My DS was bereft. I still miss him horrifically but I can function now. We rescued another dog in March who is completely different - he gets me out of the house and makes me laugh, and most importantly he's helped my DS to smile again. Sometimes I feel disloyal or guilty, but I just couldn't cope with the empty house - I'd always had a dog, so I felt as if part of my identity had been ripped away.

BiteyShark Tue 21-May-19 16:47:30

I'm so sorry thanks, how heartbreaking for yousad

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc Tue 21-May-19 17:09:13

I think everyone copes differently,for me getting another almost straight away helped me heal whereas my parents dog died 10 years ago and theyve never had another.

purpleme12 Tue 21-May-19 17:37:38

I would love to have another dog. A big one. I have dog shaped hole. But I don't think I can. I miss her so much

user1468246318 Tue 21-May-19 20:08:52

I’m so sorry for your loss xoxo

I sadly lost my 5.5 year old 2 months ago after he developed an infection after surgery to remove chicken bones. He went in a perfectly healthy dog and initially I was told I’d be picking him up the next day so I didn’t make a fuss of saying a big goodbye. 2 days later we rushed in to give him a cuddle as they put him to sleep forever and I’ve been heartbroken ever since.

I would love another dog, but at the moment it wouldn’t be fair as we had him before the children who are very young and wouldn’t have the time right now for a puppy. I’d love to home a rescue but couldn’t bring one home with the children so young. I also can’t see another dog living up to him and I’d just be looking to replace him which I never could, hopefully with time that will change. So right now we are a doggy family without a dog and we’ve massively missed our weekends traipsing round fields with him.

I’ve also found it hard to come to terms with the fact that he died so much earlier than he should of done and I feel guilty that it was preventable. He should have lived another 5-10 years. I feel I’d have been able to deal with it better had he been older and I guess I would have been more prepared for it all.

I would say that time is a healer, I’m still not ok and think about him all the time, I cry several times a day but I can mostly control it. I’ve bought a lovely box to put his things in and a photo album I plan to fill when I can face looking at pictures, and also a book I’ve started writing little memories in. We have his ashes but aren’t sure what to do with them just yet. We’d thought about scattering them on his favourite walk, but in life his favourite place was with us so for now they are at home with us.

At times I tell myself that he never got old and went out like a shooting star that shone so bright, the fact it hurts so much just shows how much we love them and I hope he knew that.

percheron67 Tue 21-May-19 20:27:36

Cannot give any advice really because I think iit is an individual process - but - wanted to say to you that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

spot102 Tue 21-May-19 23:36:10

My sympathy, too. Mine died in October, not entirely unexpectedly, but still pretty upsetting. I explained to the kids that I wasn't even going to think about getting another one till the new year. Unfortunately they are old enough to use the computer and I ended up with a new puppy before Christmas. Running round after the puppy certainly stopped me pining after the old one, nothing like a bit of distraction therapy!!

rosesinmygarden Wed 22-May-19 13:28:42

Thank you everyone. I actually slept last night, the first time since it happened.

DH told me he wants another dog (after always saying he wouldn't) after we have done our holidays for this year. I think he's probably right but for now I'm trying to get used to the huge dog shaped hole in our lives.

I tutor from home and have to keep explaining to my students what happened as the majority of them loved seeing her each week when they came for lessons. It's hard each time but is getting easier.

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FVFrog Wed 22-May-19 13:36:47

So sorry for the loss of your lovely girl. We lost our girl prematurely at 7 to a brain tumour and I felt as if my right arm had been cut off, I cried for days and missed her so much. 3 years later and I remember her with much love and great fondness and only a tinge of sadness and a lump in my throat, so time is a great healer. We have photos of her and a photo book and we planted a climbing rose on top of some of her ashes and it’s known as ‘DDogs’ rose and I do smile every year when it flowers. We ended up with an older puppy that needed a home only a few weeks after she died and it really did help. Completely different dog in every way (although same ‘type’) and he has helped enormously. flowers

simbobs Wed 22-May-19 13:37:07

So sorry. Exactly the same thing happened to us about 20 months ago, and I still can't think of my lovely boy without tearing up. We decided to plug the dog-shaped hole with another of the same breed. They are entirely different characters and I still miss our first dog. I was unprepared for his loss (wholly unexpected as he was fine until the morning he died) and was floored by grief - more so than that of my parents, as my life had become structured around the dog and he was a binding thread for the whole family. Time is the only thing, and another dog if you can bear it.

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