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The doghouse

A bit of a rant - guests setting training back

8 replies

Slicedpineapple · 27/04/2019 08:43

Does anyone else experience this?

We have a very bouncy dog that will enthusiastically greet some guests if the opportunity is there. Could have been walking all day and will still do it.

My emphasis is on some and not all. He will not jump at me, DH, regular visitors (DM and DF). We have from day one ignored him until all 4 paws are on the floor and parents have done the same.

But there are some guests that refuse to do this for more than 2 seconds. Irregulars that are much more exciting than me or DH. For example, ILs will come in and insist they 'need to be firm' with him, shouting at him when he jumps and giving him lots of lovely (negative) attention for doing it. They will also complain about the dog trying to be a lap dog with them (fair, he is medium sized and doesn't sit on me or DH either) - but if he DOESN'T try to sit on their lap and calmly lays on the floor, which we reward him for, they bend over, coo at him, ask why he isn't trying to sit on them, doesn't he love them any more, and encouraging him up on to them.

I've dealt with this for ages and it's driving me crazy. He's being completely set up to fail when irregular visitors come around, to the point where I am now having to leash him when he comes in so that I'm in charge of attention he gets rather than these particular guests.

He is incredibly well trained in all other areas of his life, it's just the infrequent guests he gets giddy with, but we are regularly ignored when we ask not to greet him or give him any sort of attention unless he is calm, and then he gets mixed messages re sitting with them for cuddles.

I don't like 'guest blaming' and it is on us as owners, but what the hell do you do when they keep getting set back by people?
Baby gate to separate from guests that hype him up is now the option I think, which is a real shame, because he is a dream with most others.

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FantailsFly · 27/04/2019 08:58

As a non-dog owning guest, I wouldn't have a clue that I was supposed to let your dog jump all over me and calmly wait for it to have paws down before I acknowledge it. Why would I know that unless you told me in advance? I don't mind dogs, but if it's 'bouncy' I'd far rather you kept it in another room/behind a baby gate. Or we socialise elsewhere, without dog and you socialise dog at home, without guest.

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Slicedpineapple · 27/04/2019 09:03

Why would I know that unless you told me in advance?

I do tell them. Every time. I get straight up ignored. Providing he is ignored when people enter our home, he will sit and not jump, but that's the point - certain people will not do that and will not let him settle down, instead they come in to the house shouting which is really fun sounding to a dog (and I've explained this before entry every time).

After saying hello, he will go off and do his own thing, or sit by people's feet. Unless he is encouraged up to to laps to do otherwise.

That's why it is frustrating.

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missbattenburg · 27/04/2019 09:09

That's guests for you.

I found in helped keeping battendog behind a baby gate until the guests were in and sat down for a coffee, then letting him in to say hello. If that still isn't enough then a light houselead so you still have control is also really useful.

That way the onus is not on the guests to remember to ignore the dog, or to try and resist a cute face, and you can still achieve the training you are aiming for.

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AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 27/04/2019 09:12

I feel your pain. Every time I take DDog to see DGM (who adores every dog in the world) she spends most of the visit feeding him under the table as it's her way of showing love.

Digestive biscuits, food from her plate, anything within arms reach and a portion will make it down my dog's throat. The result is that he spends every mealtime with his front paws on her chair and his face resting on her lap.

Honestly, I've given up. I even go so far as to point to things on her plate that the dog can't have because they contain, for instance, onion. He doesn't bother begging from me or anyone else, and trying to tell 90-somethings not to do something is like banging your head against a brick wall.

What would he be like if, for instance, a tradesman came to visit?

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Slicedpineapple · 27/04/2019 09:20

I'm glad it's not only me that experiences this. Feeding titbits- aaah! I've had to put my foot down with that before (also with onion).

Generally if a tradesman comes, he will either me in another room (if the visit is brief) or if it's an all dayer, he will go to a nearby friends house- mainly because I don't want him getting in the way. there have been a couple occasions where that hasn't been possible and I've checked if the tradesman is ok with dogs. He will come over, say hello (they always seem to have an instinct to get to the dogs level) and then leave, coming over for a sniff maybe every hour or so.

But because certain infrequent guests do hype him up (not all I might add!), that's why initially I just put him in another room. It's frustrating because I know if everyone would just stick to the 'please don't come in and start giving him your immediate attention while he is excited' rule, he'd stop all together, as he has with regular people in and out of our house.

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Slicedpineapple · 27/04/2019 09:22

missbatternburg that's what we will be doing from now on I think

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spiderlight · 27/04/2019 13:17

I found it helpful to tell visitors what to do, not what not to do - it gave them clearer direction, especially with regard to jumping up when they arrived. I got them to fold their arms and turn away when our dog jumped up and she learned very quickly what this meant (we worked on it at home as well) and would eventually sit beautifully as soon as she saw anyone start to fold their arms.

It is frustrating though - we have one friend in particular who has wound up every single one of our dogs in different ways despite being told repeatedly. We just try not to have him round now unless one of us can be here to keep the dog in another room!

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OverFedStanley · 27/04/2019 18:00

Don't let the guest who f@@k up your training meet your dog Smile

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