Grandparents Dog

(63 Posts)
KBHH Sat 23-Mar-19 19:18:48

AIBU? My parents dog is a lovely dog most of the time however she has a tendency to snap at my children when they are a little rough with her by rough I'm talking rough hugs or accidentally sitting on her or leaning on her. She has bitten and marked my DS1 three times and my DS2 only once and I've decided not to go round anymore. Neither child has been bothered by the dog and still aren't bothered. Also all bites have been more warning and haven't broken the skin as yet! My mom is obviously upset by this as she loves the kids. however I don't know what to do! We have dogs ourself who never do anything to either of my children and my children never really bother with them. The parents dog came along after our eldest boy so she should be used to children. My parents just won't understand why I won't take my children round anymore and don't seem to want to do anything to Change the situation! Help! Please no negative comments I know this post may get mixed responses but I feel sensitive about it all already.... the dog is only a JRT but I just don't want to risk anything worse happening!

OP’s posts: |
Chocolateisfab Sat 23-Mar-19 19:21:45

If your dc have ddogs why are they rough with gps ddog?
How old are the dc?

Kirsteninakilt Sat 23-Mar-19 19:29:47

I am a dog owner OP and I would advise you NOT to go round with the children unless/until they keep the dog separate either in another room or in the garden provided it is safe there and not hot weather. Children can be rough even unintentionally and clearly your parents' dog has a lower tolerance of this than your dogs - it is neither's fault so to avoid any further risk ensure that the dog and DC do not mix.
TBH I am gobsmacked at your parents' attitude and that they did not immediately take steps to ensure everyone stays safe and risk free.

missbattenburg Sat 23-Mar-19 19:30:50

I'm not sure what you want your parents to do (genuinly)? This isn't a case of the dog not being 'used' to children. It doesn't like the way they behave and is being clear about telling them. Just like people, different dogs have difference tolerance levels.

Keep the children and dog seperate so that the kids cannot bother the dog and there will be no further issues...

KBHH Sat 23-Mar-19 19:32:58

They're not rough as such. They behave like children do and get close to the dogs. Maybe a little heavy handed but not that causes concern to us. Also the GP dog has bitten my eldest when he has been playing outside with his aeroplane minding his own business and not playing with the dog! I've seen every occasion where it's happened and the children haven't done anything I would consider to be horrible or that would hurt the dog! They're 7 and 20 months!

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Disfordarkchocolate Sat 23-Mar-19 19:34:39

I think you need to work on your children's behaviour, lots of very amiable and safe dogs would get stressed and anxious dealing with the behaviour you describe.

missbattenburg Sat 23-Mar-19 19:35:23

the children haven't done anything I would consider to be horrible or that would hurt the dog!

But it isn't you that gets to decide what is horrible or not - it's the dog that decides.

rough hugs = an uncomfortable, potentially scary or frightening experience to a dog

sitting on her = scares her into thinking she is going to be hurt, potentially also surprises or wakes her. Ditto leaning on her.


KBHH Sat 23-Mar-19 19:35:52

My parents do not wish to take steps to separate the dog or in fact punish the dog when it happens! It has caused conflict before and they still will not remove the dog. So I said to remove the children. I don't blame the dog. I love her! I want them to understand why I can't take my children there if they won't remove the dog when we are there? Also I have said they can come to my house whenever! Not like I'm stopping contact or fell
Out with either of them!

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KBHH Sat 23-Mar-19 19:37:25

I get that it's not for me to decide but I can stop it happening by not letting my children be around the dog!

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missbattenburg Sat 23-Mar-19 19:38:15

Punishment wil make this 100 times worse. It is the very, very last thing this dog needs. It will not make it better and risks turning this dog into a dangerously aggressive animal.

TBH childen of that age and dogs SHOULD be seperated if they cannot be trusted to leave each other alone. That is just good sense.

missbattenburg Sat 23-Mar-19 19:38:32

I can stop it happening by not letting my children be around the dog!


TheoriginalLEM Sat 23-Mar-19 19:39:14

Wow - why is it ok for your kids to treat dogs like toys?

When these warning snaps escalates the poor bloody dog will end up.being put to sleep because you can't be fucked to teach your children how to respect dogs. angry

KBHH Sat 23-Mar-19 19:39:19

Also as I said there have been unprovoked attacks when my children haven't been near her! And my problem isn't the dog. It's my parents attitude to me not wanting the dog to be around my children!

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KBHH Sat 23-Mar-19 19:40:40

Thanks for that theoriginalLEM. Funny I never said my kids did that! Thanks for the input!

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missbattenburg Sat 23-Mar-19 19:40:50

And my problem isn't the dog. It's my parents attitude to me not wanting the dog to be around my children!

I see that more clearly now. Though this is The Doghouse so I susect most of us know more about dogs than parents. If I knew how to convince parents to do something they didn't want to I'd have had a much easier life grin

S1naidSucks Sat 23-Mar-19 19:43:39

I think you need to teach your children to leave the poor dog alone. It doesn’t live with children and no matter how often you visit, it still deserves to be left alone. Poor pet. Stop blaming the poor dog and teach your children that not all dogs like being pestered.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages Sat 23-Mar-19 19:45:39

Why have your children not been told to leave the dog alone? When I was young my grandparents had some rather grumpy elderly dogs and if I pushed it too far with them and they snapped there was no sympathy for me as I'd ignored instructions and pushed it too far (eg ignored a dog, tried to pick up the dog that didn't like to be picked up). I learned quickly - I remember sharing a Silver Cross style pram with a famously grumpy dog so elderly she couldn't walk far.

The dog is communicating that it finds your children's behaviour uncomfortable or scary - and when we're talking about rough hugs and sitting on the dog I can understand why. I wouldn't be happy if a bigger being than me hugged me roughly or sat on me - I might even hit them to get them off me.

One way or another you need to stop your children from annoying the dog. Teach your children not to approach the dog. Teach them to recognise the signs of stress that come before a growl (eg showing whites of eyes, tail between legs - see the ladder of aggression). I'm sure there at YouTube videos on this sort of thing.

KBHH Sat 23-Mar-19 19:47:24

Generally they do leave the dog alone! She clearly has a very low Tolerance. She can be like it with adults too! However judging by some responses on here I can see the same attitude as my parents!

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KBHH Sat 23-Mar-19 19:48:51

I can't stress how little they do do to get a reaction. She doesn't growl or give a warning! I've got my own dogs. The children know the signs!

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S1naidSucks Sat 23-Mar-19 19:51:24

However judging by some responses on here I can see the same attitude as my parents!

I don’t think it’s the posters on here that have the attitude problem. You’ve come on here to whine about your parent’s poor dog, dropped in a comment later about the dog biting when unprovoked, when it wasn’t all going your way and refuse to take responsibility for your children’s behaviour towards this dog.

I would be concerned about your own dogs finally snapping when they get fed up with your children annoying them, then you can wail about them getting bite and you don’t understand why.

KBHH Sat 23-Mar-19 19:52:52

Wow. That escalated quickly!

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user9000 Sat 23-Mar-19 19:53:58

Your parents are unusual (and stupid) to put the dog before the grandchildren. If they had a gun would they leave it out loaded on the table?

My experience of having a JRT was they are strong, athletic and aggressive ratters that do not like children. I believe you that your own dogs are okay with children -- some dogs are and some aren't. The ones that aren't should be crated or put in another room when children visit....unless they want their grandchildren to need stitches in their face someday?

user9000 Sat 23-Mar-19 19:57:14

Wow, don't post in the dog house! There's always the dogs can do no wrong crowd on here.

You could post a dog ran into my garden and killed my son and they would say it was your fault for letting your son outside, lol.

TheoriginalLEM Sat 23-Mar-19 20:06:26

You clearly said in your OP your children are rough with the dog.

MultipleMum5 Sat 23-Mar-19 20:07:10

Op if I was in your position I’d be feeling the same way and I think these responses are harsh.

I think it is shared responsibility with yourself to teach them to stay away from the dogs, but it’s absolutely for your parents to seperate them around your young children. It’s not as simple as ‘oh the poor dog, control your child’. Children are impulsive and don’t always listen and can’t be 100% trusted no matter how much you tell them/teach them.

If it was my parents I’d be telling them to put the dogs in another room while we visited, or the visits would have to come to a hault.

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