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SO prefers dog over me(7 Posts)
Sorry for ranting but just want some advice please!! Just under a year ago when working in my shop I caught a local alcoholic beating a lovely little JRT and dragging him by the collar along the ground, horrified I went outside to tell him off and basically ended up taking the dog off him, now I had absolutely no intention of having a dog and didn't want a dog and immediately organised for him to be picked up by a no kill rescue organisation within that week with the promise of them finding him a lovely home. In that time my SO begged me to let him keep him, I agreed (reluctantly) that we could only keep him if SO got him snipped, chipped and trained which he agreed to. Now 8 months down the line none of this has happened and I'm really not happy with the entire situation, I'm really starting to feel I am becoming second place to the dog, he is still fully untrained to come to recall (SO walks him without leash and his reaction to him bounding up to other dogs is 'keep walking and get will follow eventually'), he's very very attention seeking, constantly jumping on strangers and visitors to the house and climbing all over them, will not let SO cuddle or touch me, cries when put in the kitchen for 5 minutes despite spending the full day on the sofa chewing big bones SO buys him, does not listen to any commands , bokes and pees on the floor and basically does what he wants, if I say anything to SO about how unhappy I am he accuses me of 'yapping and complaining' and says he's training him but it's a "work in progress' . I work full time up to 50 hours a week and often don't have a day off for two weeks whilst SO plays music gigs for a few hours at the weekend and spends all his time at home. I just don't have the time to spend training him Don't get me wrong the dog is not a bad dog and he does get walked and well looked after and I think with training he could be ok but despite even suggesting and looking up training classes near us SO has as yet refused to take him and I work every evening so I can't take him. I feel like I'm being trapped in my own house and relegated to getting less time spent on my than this dog and I feel awful at feeling such resentment towards the dog as I am a big animal lover! Would anyone have any advice? Moving into a new house with carpet next week and dreading it as other half last week was happy to leave pee sitting at the top of the stairs without cleaning it not to mention the mud!
Also to say SO absolutely LOVES the dog so I think if I even suggested rehoming I would be out finding a new home first lol so it's not an option
I you can't/won't go to training classes then get a decent trainer round to the house on an evening/weekend to do some one to one training with you and the dog.
Nothing will change until the dog is trained. That won't happen unless you both put the effort in to do it.
If you can’t rehome him then the best I would suggest is to try and do what you can yourself so he is a bit easier for you to manage.
Eg. You start walking him (I know you are super busy with work) but with the aid of a long line and treats and toys and teach him rock solid recall with you
Maybe with guests if you used some high value treats to put and keep the dog in a down position beside you, add the word ‘settle’ or similar and maybe because your busy cooing and fussing over the dog giving it treats your partner wouldn’t twig that what you are actually doing is the training the dog to be polite around guests?
Ignore crying in the kitchen, only let him out when he’s quiet.
So try not to put him in there when your partner is around...
Firstly I want to thank you for saving the wee dog from a lifetime of fear and misery op. Secondly I understand totally where you're coming from-I have Jacks and they are wilful,possessive,needy and with brains the size of peas lol so do need a lot of training anyway. Your dog will be particularly needy after it's awful start in life and more difficult to train too with it being older (how old is it,do you know?).
It's such a shame and really selfish of your partner that he isn't prepared to put any effort into the training of the dog. You resenting the wee thing is all down to him,and the dog would be so much happier if your partner would get off his arse and put some effort in.Could you book a training session,present him with the time and date and maybe tell him you've paid for a months lessons upfront so he has to go or lose the money?