Another dog owner is forcing me to a drastic decision

(16 Posts)
disneyspendingmoney Thu 07-Mar-19 07:10:29

Yesterday I was assaulted by another dog owner, I called him out because he had 4 -5 large dogs in a children's playpark and one was pooping by the slide.

So he assaulted be, punches were thrown.

It's pushed my anxiety through the roof.

I'm a single parent to 2 dds and 2 ddogs they actually belong to my X who was removed from our home by the police thus is an important detail.

X lives in HMO now she is an EA alcoholic in full denial, she uses the ddogs still as a way to mess up the dds, accusing me of not walking them, not feeding them et (I r posted about my dog walking previously do I won't repeat it)

So as you can see things are difficult. And that's pretty much the top of the iceberg.

The dds love the ddogs they've helped them through a lot of difficulty (me as well they were very doggo yesterday when I was crashing from anxiety).

But it's now at the point where I feel it's too much and they will need to be refined

What I would like to know is how to support the dds if I chose to do this and what do I need to be able to make it happen?

By no means have I made any decisions what so ever but I need some guidance as to the right decision.

OP’s posts: |
ThinkOfAWittyNameLater Thu 07-Mar-19 07:14:43

It sounds like you are in the grips of an anxiety attack, after a fairly hideous experience.

I can understand why you see this as a solution. I think you should give yourself some time to think about it, and maybe talk to a child psychologist (if you can) about the impact of removing the dogs after their mother has left.

It's entirely possibly your ex will just find something else to harass you about.

I guess I'm saying try not to make any rash decisions.

SavoyCabbage Thu 07-Mar-19 07:16:53

You are in a difficult situation here. One of my friends ended up with two enormous dogs as her ex died unexpectedly. It’s changed her life completely.

I think the first thing I would do is see if anyone you know is will,ingnto have the dogs.

How old are your daughters?

disneyspendingmoney Thu 07-Mar-19 07:25:32

dds are 13&10.

I'm not jumping to any decisions which is why I'm looking for practical guidance

OP’s posts: |
AvocadosBeforeMortgages Thu 07-Mar-19 07:37:23

Honestly? I would have been devastated if I'd lost the family dogs at that age - and I didn't have half the things going on that your daughters do. There's a good chance they'll blame you and be very angry, and no doubt your ex will encourage this.

Could you get your daughters more involved in the care of the dogs so that they can be certain they are being fed and walked? At 13 I was walking the dogs alone most days after school. You could also consider sending them more pics from their walks under the guise of "look how cute DDog was today" etc

Are there other parks you could take your dogs to? I've got a couple of other dog walkers I avoid for various reasons (DDog taking a strong dislike to the other dog, mostly, but also one who's frankly nuts) and I still walk DDog in the same place but scan the horizon.

Have you talked to your GP about your anxiety?

TemporaryPermanent Thu 07-Mar-19 07:48:55

I wonder if victim support might be helpful to you to talk through practical ideas.

I'd agree with the pp who suggested seeing if someone else could have the dogs temporarily while you recover. A lot of people will have a dog/dogs for a month?

madrush Thu 07-Mar-19 07:53:47

Would rehiring your dogs have averted the assault? It doesn’t sound as though your dogs were involved, it was that you called him out on poor behaviour of his dogs. Good on you for that, but maybe just at the moment you should walk on by and not get involved, as you are dealing with so much else of your own already.

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disneyspendingmoney Thu 07-Mar-19 08:27:56

Hindsight says I should have done nothing, but it's the playpark a lot of dd2 friends go to. never again will I say anything to any dog owner.

I have been assessing all the issues people have mentioned above. I thought of some one to look after the dogs about 30 mins ago.

This is a telling thing the dds don't want X to have the dogs because they are scared for the dogs.

it's not a practical thing to do re-home so I'll leave it

OP’s posts: |
pilates Thu 07-Mar-19 09:06:13

Have you reported the assault?

Perhaps a visit to the doctors to review your mental health might be in order. I wouldn’t be getting rid of the dogs, the problem was the violent man. It must have been very frightening for you.

disneyspendingmoney Thu 07-Mar-19 09:47:29

Pilates I've got a MH assesment booked for tomorrow,I haven't bothered with the police because I just haven't, not that I shouldn't, just haven't.

And it was less frightening than some of the things I've experienced at home.

thank you

OP’s posts: |
bbcessex Fri 08-Mar-19 19:55:56

Poor you, Disney - that’s really awful. Not surprised you are shaken up by it.. I feel shaken up with cross words in a car, let alone a full on attack.

You seem to be doing the absolute best you can and taking a lot on your shoulders. I hope you have some great support ❤️

AvocadosBeforeMortgages Fri 08-Mar-19 21:51:47

How did you get on with your assessment today? I hope it was helpful for you.

disneyspendingmoney Fri 08-Mar-19 21:59:58

@AvocadosBeforeMortgages, thank you for asking, going for follow up with GP

OP’s posts: |
Stickmanslittleleaf Fri 08-Mar-19 22:59:48

What do your dogs have to do with what happened in the park though? It's not clear to me from your posts? Obviously that was a very upsetting incident and it's understandable that you were shaken up and the dog owner's reaction was entirely unacceptable but how does it relate to your own dogs?

disneyspendingmoney Sat 09-Mar-19 10:58:37

they are huskies, and I am struggling to give everyone the balance they are due. Plus they aren't mine and I'm not really a dog person, that was my X and I was really fucked up that day

OP’s posts: |
EhlanaOfElenia Sat 09-Mar-19 11:00:23

Huskies are beautiful dogs, but they need a hell of a lot of work.

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