He blames everything on the dog!

[NewHouseFreshStart10]

I have a lovely little spaniel, he's nearly 2 and like most people he is my absolute world! I know I can be over protective of him with anybody and I never take well to anyone making any comments about him (however rare it is)

My partner gets on fine with him but all the main care (training, walking, feeding) is done by me, that's fine and I knew that would always be the case. Recently however, he seems to blame everything on the dog, there is a mark on the wall? Dog did it, recently found a small rip on a cushion on our settee, dog did it, his children have picked the dog up and put him on their bed, partner has seen and told the dog off?! I'm sorry but none of these things are him and it's really getting beyond a joke now.

Anyone had this before? I'm going out of my mind I don't know how to approach without seeming like I'm overreacting.

[billybagpuss]

To be fair the mark on the wall and rip may well be the dog. I noticed yesterday how filthy my hall walls are where billypup stays when she’s dirty.

The point though is you can’t tell a dog off after the event as he just won’t understand.

Does your DP actually like the dog? Is he feeling jealous and put out by him? I think you need a frank what’s your problem kind of chat

[adaline]

Are you sure some of it's not the dog? Mine manages to chew things even if I'm sat right next to him, the same with getting muddy paws on things!

Sounds to me like he resents the amount of work he takes up - dog ownership isn't for everyone as it's a huge commitment and affects your whole life. Did he want the dog in the first place?

[BiteyShark]

What was the deal with the dog? Did both of you want the dog (be honest)?

You say you are over protective. Does that mean no one can do anything with him unless you say so or it has to be your way only (again be honest)? Because that would lead to resentment as well as meaning your partner would never be able or allowed to bond with the dog.

Dogs do cause marks and holes. Can you be certain your dog didn't cause them? Where is the united front on ground rules for the dog (with the dog being placed on the bed)?

[Fluffypot333]

Sounds like it's you and ddog against your partner and his children, resentment from both sides .

[pigsDOfly]

It does sound like he doesn't want the dog or resents him.

Owning a dog does mean you have to be prepared to shut your eyes to certain things as they do cause extra mess and it's very likely the marks on the wall are dog related. Perhaps he didn't realise this when you got the dog.

My dog doesn't make holes but the mud at the moment - it's the same every winter - is horrifying, and this is a small dog. She comes in from the garden and mud flies everywhere no matter how careful I am about trying to clean her.

Agree with pp you really need to have a conversation him about it.

These things aren't the dog's 'fault'. But you can just go on with a situation where he's blaming the dog for being a dog and you're on the other side defending the dog.