Asking for advice on how you got through...

(9 Posts)
MakeAHouseAHome Wed 02-Jan-19 18:01:48

...losing your best friend :-(

Family dog is 13 and it looks increasingly likely we are going to loose him this weekend. I was 7 when we lost our last dog and we had a 5 year gap between dogs. I don't really remember losing him. I then lost my horse in 2016 but much as I adored her, she didn't live in tbe house day in day out with us so it was a bit different.

I am trying to prepare myself for losing him but the thought of it alone has me hysterical. My mum is going to be an absolubte wreck aswell so I want to support her at the same time as dealing with my own grief.

OP’s posts: |
Kneesbend Wed 02-Jan-19 19:06:07

I am so so sorry. Home. I lost my baby boy 5 weeks ago today, still cry daily. All I tell myself is to give time time. Wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone, it’s debilitating and stops me in my tracks.

It’s proper grief, raw to the bone, literally heartbreaking.

Initially after getting home from the vets I was faced with his waterbowl, bedding and toys strewn throughout the house - If I’d have known what was going to happen I’d have removed them beforehand. Not because they weren’t wanted but the opposite, they were wanted more than anything and facing them would have been another heart stopper. You may wish to do that or you may not.

His half-eaten balls are still in the garden where he left them and I can’t face touching them yet. Some days I talk nonstop about him, some days I have a breakdown if I hear just his name. You may find you have different days too.

I don’t think there is a right way or wrong way to grieve or prepare yourself.

Take it minute by minute.

Handholding flowers

MakeAHouseAHome Wed 02-Jan-19 20:39:53

Thank you so much, I am already totaally heartbroken and am so so scared about how I will cope. That isn't a bad idea about moving his stuff, but I don't want to feel like I am erasing him.

He is at the vets tonight and the house genuinely feels empty and off without him.

OP’s posts: |
Kneesbend Wed 02-Jan-19 21:06:17

Don’t pressure yourself. You’ll know what the right thing to do is, you’ll feel it in your heart. It’s the unknown at the moment. Go with how you feel, like I said, there’s no right or wrong.

I had to change my homescreen image on my phone whilst I was in the vets waiting for Dh to get to me so we could do that horrible, horrific procedure. The guilt of erasing him before we had lost him was like a stab in the heart, however speaking about myself personally I knew I would collapse at having to see his face so soon so felt it was the lesser of evils.

You do need to look after yourself as well as your Mum. Please remember that. Easier said than done I know. Some days you won’t function, some days you will cope.

Mentally it’s gruelling and cruel and the pain is unimaginable.

Try to smile at the memories if you can xxxx

EdWinchester Wed 02-Jan-19 21:14:10

Our lovely dog was 14 and in very bad health.

We kept her going far too long and in the end, it was the vet who persuaded us to have her put down.

I was a complete chicken, and let my husband take her to the vet. He was devastated and still re-lives those last awful minutes sometimes (7 years ago). I honestly don't think I could've coped with seeing her die.

I had spent so many evenings in the months before crying into her head, knowing she was on her way out, that I felt I had already grieved. It was a relief to me, tbh.

And the single best thing we had done was buy a puppy 5 months before the old dog died. The 2 of them were very close. It sounds a bit ruthless, but I would do it again.

Kneesbend Fri 04-Jan-19 22:27:34

Thinking of you this weekend, OP. flowers

HarrietBasset Sat 05-Jan-19 18:52:01

I lost my lovely girl on Christmas eve.She was 12 and my special friend who saw me through some very tough times. I cry every day and have been pretty hysterical now and then. I held her when she was pts and it was incredibly difficult but felt right that she was with the person who loved her most in the world.
The house still feels so empty but we are just taking things hour by hour and allowing ourselves to grieve.
Its incredibly hard OP sending you lots of strength x

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ThePoliticiansPraiseMyName Sat 05-Jan-19 18:56:28

When I lost my dog I was devastated and I still talk about him almost daily 4 years later. My advice is to go with him. I felt I had to be strong and calm for my boy, he did so much for me that when the end came the least I could do was be with him and hold him so he wasn't scared. I sat on the floor and he lay with his head in my lap while the vet gave him the injection. He was completely relaxed and calm and I know it was the right time for him. There is no way to make it easier, just be kind to yourself and take it Day by day. In the future you will enjoy talking about him and the good times but you need to give yourself time to grieve.

abbey44 Mon 07-Jan-19 00:25:56

My beloved dog died the day before Christmas Eve, in kennels while I was on holiday, and I only found out when I went to pick her and the other one up last weekend. It was a complete shock, she was only 8 and it was very sudden - a twisted gut. I can't believe she's gone and that I wasn't there - she must have felt I'd abandoned her. To be heartbroken is entirely normal when you lose your pet, and I think you just have to take it a day at a time. The younger dog and I are finding it very strange, Vienna has left a huge gap in our lives.

Sending you lots of love and best wishes. Let yourself grieve, and don't put pressure on yourself flowers

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