Inherited a boisterous dog - advice please

(23 Posts)
babbi Sat 22-Dec-18 16:12:37

Really hoping for advice please .
I’m really stuck and not sure what to do .

My elderly parents can no longer cope with their very boisterous 1y o labradoodle.

I have had it now for 2 days and am absolutely exhausted.
I’ve never owned a dog and don’t know what to do .

I am a single parent with a 14 year old dd and am out of the house 12 hours a day due to work .
My father will take the dog out once a day at lunchtime but I will have to do all other stuff ..

Any advice?
I’m finding the level of commitment exhausting and draining already !
I get home 7 pm .. dog walk and house work etc all to take place before 10 pm when I go to bed as I get up at 5 am

Can anyone help with ideas to make this easier ?

How to get dog to settle as he goes crazy when I come home ! Cannot sit still so I can even get a cuppa !
Appreciate this is early days ... but would also welcome thoughts re how long he can be left during the day etc ...

TIA

OP’s posts: |
Soubriquet Sat 22-Dec-18 16:14:04

If you are working 12 hours a day, the dog needs to rehomed.

It’s not fair

BumDisease Sat 22-Dec-18 16:16:06

Rehome.

CryptoFascist Sat 22-Dec-18 16:16:13

Ok. You need to sit down and watch a looooot of YouTube videos on dog training. You're going to need to spend time with your dog in the day if his behaviour is ever going to improve. Others will be along with more detailed advice.Good luck.

babbi Sat 22-Dec-18 16:16:51

Thanks very much Soubriquet ..., I understand exactly what you are saying ...
I’m attempting to do my best under difficult circumstances but I agree that it’s not in the dogs best interest....
sadly I think rehome is what ultimately will have to happen however sad that is ... thanks again

OP’s posts: |
Cyberworrier Sat 22-Dec-18 16:23:18

Sounds like he is not getting enough exercise or interaction. My high energy one year old dog is happy to be left for up to 2-3 hours- after a one hour walk. He goes to doggy daycare part time (picked up at 9am and dropped off at 5.30) and I walk him and work from home the other days. Labradoodles are very energetic and sociable, so I would be concerned yours may become destructive out of boredom and frustration, as it really doesn’t sound like he is exercising or socialised (not alone) enough. Is daycare an option?

Honeyroar Sat 22-Dec-18 16:26:35

Do you not think you're just a bit overwhelmed? Young dogs are energetic. All dogs get excited when you come home. With mine, we go straight out to the garden and throw balls for ten minutes, take the edge off the energy before having a cup of tea.

Where is the 14 year old while you're at work for 12 hours? (Aside from school obviously). Couldn't they take him for a walk when they get home from school? If the dog was walked in the morning, walked/played with for a while midday by your dad, then taken out by your teen after school he shouldn't need too much of a walk at night. Alternatively you could look at a dog walker perhaps.

Also, what feed does he get? Lower quality feed could contribute to his silliness.

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AvocadosBeforeMortgages Sat 22-Dec-18 17:07:11

Sounds like you've accidentally acquired a dog that's
A) a teenager and so pushing the boundaries anyway
B) underexercised (how much walkies is he getting in mins per day, and is this on or off lead?)
C) possibly under trained

Would there be the money for a dog walker or day care, or could the teenager take the dog out for a walk after school to earn some extra pocket money? Expect to have to wait a little while to see the positive effects of more exercise - I've found it does take a while to build up. A tired dog is a good dog, as they say! It's much easier to give a dog sufficient exercise when they can be let off lead, so if DDog can't then training recall (ie coming back when you call) would be a top priority of mine.

Dogs being excited when you come home is totally normal and is one of the nice things about having them - someone is always pleased to see you!

I'd definitely go to some dog training classes - ideally some run by an APDT member or Dogs Trust Dog School - you can usually find some on a Saturday morning. Whatever you do avoid anyone who uses punishment or who talks about pack leadership (or "balanced" training which is one of the newer weasel words). Positive reinforcement only is what to look for. Even if the dog is perfectly trained already, you need to learn the underlying theories behind dog training (the first week of the Dogs Trust classes is theory, which is really useful before you move onto the practical).

Www.allaboutdogfood.co.uk is an excellent website for finding higher quality sensibly priced foods. I know if mine has low quality food (eg Pedigree) then his behaviour deteriorates rapidly.

Don't be too hard on yourself - it's all new to you, and will be a very steep learning curve, but I think you can make this work between you, your dad, teenager and a dog walker.

pigsDOfly Sat 22-Dec-18 17:29:17

This dog has been foisted on you and you're not prepared for or aware of what's needed for, what is, probably an intelligent and high energy dog. And why should you be.

You're feeling overwhelmed understandably, a lot of dog owners do from time to time but usually they've chosen to get their dogs, you haven't.

In your shoes I'd rehome it. It's a young dog of a popular cross and should be fairly easy to rehome.

If you do decide to rehome just be careful how you go about it. I assume there must be dedicated labradoodle rescue centres so try to rehome through one of those, or of course, places like The Dogs' Trust or Battersey Dogs home if you're near London. Don't try to rehome by advertising or on any of the website for selling dogs.

What made your elderly parents get such a dog is probably a pointless question to ask but there's no reason for you to have to take it over, it's not fair to you or the dog.

bertielab Sat 22-Dec-18 17:34:24

A dog is a lifelong commitment. They have realised they can't do it -they can't expect you too.

Your parents are totally unreasonable. If you work 12 hour days. The dog needs to be with them all day and walked 3 times a day by them. It needs company.

In your situation talk to your local rehoming centre and vets -and get it a proper home.

BiteyShark Sat 22-Dec-18 17:41:19

Did you ever want a dog? If not then it isn't your responsibility to pick up the slack from your DPs and I would get them to rehome it properly. That is a very energetic dog at a difficult age and will not be an easy ride for anyone let alone someone who never wanted it in the first place.

If you do want to persevere then I would get you DPs to pay for a 1-1 trainer to come in and help you.

ihatehoney Sat 22-Dec-18 17:55:40

Out of interest, why did you take it in? Did you feel like you had to?

You would definitely not be judged for rehoming him, he'll be very popular and get homed quickly with a lovely family I'm sure as he's so young!

Hope it all works out some way or another.

babbi Sat 22-Dec-18 18:01:55

Thanks all .. really appreciate you taking time to answer .
My parents are very upset about this ... they know now that they made a major mistake in getting this type of dog ... mum has unfortunately taken poorly since getting him which had made the situation even worse ... she’s been in a plaster cast for 5 months and dad had been running between caring for her and the dog ..,

Me ? Absolutely correct the poster who asked did I ever see myself as a dog owner ...
answer is no , never and I am overwhelmed and miserable at the thought of being one by default ...( I’ve walked him for a total of 3 hours today - the thought of doing that for years just doesn’t appeal ) he is cute but very hard work and I already have enough on my plate ( recent break up , still recovering from a car crash as well as the usual day to day stuff )

My daughter and I have already had words as she has only given him 1 x 10 min walk since he arrived as she’s been busy with friends etc ... so everything has fallen to me ... the thought of regular run ins with her for not pulling her weight is not pleasant ...

Thanks again everyone... I had great intentions of trying to make this work but I’m leaning towards rehoming ...it’s fairer to the dog ...

Also I have to go away with work from time to time ... dd can go to her fathers but the dog will need looking after !!!

OP’s posts: |
babbi Sat 22-Dec-18 18:02:59

Sorry- meant to say - no money for dog walker or trainer .... things are ok but tight for extras !

OP’s posts: |
AvocadosBeforeMortgages Sat 22-Dec-18 19:38:23

I tend to think that rehoming might be the better option all round as it sounds like no one in the family really has the capacity to look after the dog and give it what it needs.

Dogs Trust would be my first port of call, and while they are selective intake I'd be surprised if they didn't take a young poo x with no behaviour problems. Doodle Trust are the 'breed' rescue and are very volunteer based AFAIK. You may also have a good local rescue. As others have said, don't try and rehome via the small ads / Facebook / gumtree. The quality of prospective owners there is often not great (for starters, they've probably been turned down by rescues for a reason, and some will have unpleasant plans for the dog), and you don't have the capacity as an individual to properly vet anyone who comes forward.

babbi Sat 22-Dec-18 19:42:52

Thanks avocados.., I’ve just had a long chat with my SIL ... lover of animals who has owned many dogs .
Her view is that in a typical weekday he will be left alone twice for 3.5 hours ... 7 hours total .... that’s not fair and she has advised rehoming too via the Dogs Trust ..

Sincere thanks to all posters - very kind to take the time to post ... it really has helped me see things more clearly....

OP’s posts: |
Hoppinggreen Sat 22-Dec-18 19:44:29

A 1year old Doodle should be easy to rehome, they are popular and expensive
You can’t give this dog what it needs so please rehome asap

BollockingBaubles Sat 22-Dec-18 20:34:42

Rehoming sounds like the best option.

Can see why the teenager doesn't want to be responsible for the dog too tbf, it's one thing if she's encouraged to take the dog and promising she'd take a good chunk of the responsibility of pet ownership then absolutely be pissed if it's fallen to you. I know my 13 year old wouldn't want to be reasonable for walking my pet so part of the planning in getting a dog was based on the adults is the house being responsible with dd helping with walking.

Getting a dog requires sorting all this stuff out beforehand and it doesn't sounds like you've been chance or time to do this.

If you do rehome I'd try to go through a charity. I think some do fostering so that when your Mums health is better and dad isnt so rushed off his feet then they can have their dog back. Fed don't advertise free to good home on Facebook type stuff as I've read they can end up as bait for fighting dogs 😢

CherryPavlova Sat 22-Dec-18 20:45:35

Yes rehome as soon as possible. We rehomed our energetic 2 year old Dalmatian. We underestimated the commitment and cost but are his forever home. He’s had three homes previously so a bit needy and craving stability and security. We’ve had him a year now and he’s much better but still needs a 8-10 mile run each day and a couple of additional walks off lead. He doesn’t like being left at all but we have very occasionally left him for a couple of hours. Certainly we wouldn’t leave for a twelve hour shift with just a lunchtime visit. We use daycare but that costs.
I too suspect he’ll be in a new home quite quickly. That’s fairest on you all. A nice country home with people around to give him the attention and exercise he needs.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages Sat 22-Dec-18 21:47:43

On the topic of timing - the worst thing you could do would be to leave him under exercised and under stimulated, have him develop some behavioural problems as a result and then rehome because you can't deal with the problems - that would make it much harder to rehome him.

Not much will happen over Christmas and new year, so enjoy yourselves over the period (presumably you've got some time off and can do long walkies?) and then make enquiries in the new year.

fivedogstofeed Sat 22-Dec-18 22:25:07

The Doodle Trust could help you. They may have a waiting list but at this age your dog would be fairly easy for them to rehome, and they also have experience of all the issues you describe.

LEMtheoriginal Sat 22-Dec-18 22:29:42

The cinammon trust might be able to help seeing as your mum is in poor health. That and breed rescue.

He absolutely needs more stimulation than you are able to give him.

He will settle but not for a while he is a doggy teenager.

tabulahrasa Sun 23-Dec-18 00:34:21

It just sounds like you don’t have the right life for this dog just now - you were trying to do a nice thing without realising it’s a bigger commitment than you were expecting.

It’s an unfortunate set of circumstances - but the dog will be fine, he’s only 1, it’s a popular cross and he’s got no issues... he’ll be in a new home that’s right for him in no time at all.

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