Struggling to accept the loss of our dog

(26 Posts)
Jaynie27 Thu 20-Dec-18 17:59:38

We had to have our 14 year old cocker spaniel put to sleep 12 weeks ago and I’m still feeling just as bad as when it happened. I’m not crying in front of people anymore but when I’m alone I could just sob for him. I just can’t accept this beautiful baby boy who was with us for so long, has just gone and will never come back. Please someone tell me it gets better, thank you. Here’s a picture of him, I love sharing them as I just want him to be remembered more than anything.

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BiteyShark Thu 20-Dec-18 18:19:46

I'm so sorry. He looks lovely and was clearly well loved flowers

pumpkinpie01 Thu 20-Dec-18 18:22:30

Ah I’m so sorry dogs are so much a big part of the family I’m not surprised you’re still upset I would be too. Sending you a big hug x

Jaynie27 Thu 20-Dec-18 18:24:32

Thank you, yes Sam was a fun, happy little dog and I always thought we’d have him forever. Thank you for your hugs and thoughts xx

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sulee Thu 20-Dec-18 18:42:24

What a gorgeous boy! In time, you will learn to remember the good times and smile. I still think of my dogs who have passed, the last one over two years ago, and I still miss dreadfully. Dogs leave such a huge gap in our lives. It’s the worst part about dog ownership 😥x

Wolfiefan Thu 20-Dec-18 18:44:05

What a lovely face. I’m so so sorry for your loss. What a lot of lovely memories you must have made over those years.

FourteenCows Thu 20-Dec-18 18:51:59

I’m so sorry for your loss. All I can say is, it does get better. I lost my cat in an RTA at the beginning of the year and was devastated for quite a while, but then it got less and less. I still think about him every day but I’m not overcome with sadness all the time now x

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Jaynie27 Thu 20-Dec-18 19:36:57

Thank you for all your replies and kind words and FourteenCows, I’m so sorry.mro lose an animal in such circumstances must be devastating. You’re all right of course though. He had a wonderful, long and happy life and was spoilt and loved. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat though, to have those happy memories. In fact, one memory that’s making me smile is this picture of him a few years ago at Xmas obviously, not sure how impressed he was but he was so cute 😢🥰

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EdWinchester Thu 20-Dec-18 19:39:28

It's so awful - but a long life, full of love!

Some might disagree, but getting a puppy was what got us through.

Jaynie27 Thu 20-Dec-18 19:42:02

Yes, it’s very tempting but my husband has got his sensible head on at the moment so it’s keeping me grounded. We’ll see in a few months how we feel then, never say never tho!

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RickOShay Thu 20-Dec-18 19:42:32

What a gorgeous boy. I am so sorry Jaynie. flowers

Ploppymoodypants Thu 20-Dec-18 21:21:52

I still well up thinking about the dog we lost after 14 years back in 2006. A beautiful golden retriever. He was the most noble and dignified dog and so gentle and kind. But like others have said, a puppy saw us through the really sad times and that puppy is now 12 and we are facing the same situation. But they are all so worth the heart ache.

Sorry for your loss, he looked like a beautiful boy. And so lucky to have a home with you x

Jaynie27 Thu 20-Dec-18 22:37:13

Thank you, he was beautiful. And silly and loved going in the car for trips and adored swimming. Everything revolved around him and now the house just feels nothing. Like all the life has gone from it. I still feel that awful guilt that we could have given him longer but he was struggling and in pain so...It helps just to get it down and reassuring to hear that it will start to get better. 💐for all your losses xx

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Tanfastic Thu 20-Dec-18 22:44:32

Oh op this made me well up, I'd be exactly the same. It does get easier but losing a dog is so hard.

Mine is 13 next year and I'm dreading it. I'd have to get another straight away,

TeaByTheSeaside Thu 20-Dec-18 22:48:00

Blue Cross offer a pet bereavement counselling service.

Contact them if you feel you're struggling. They're there to help.

https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss

Dottierichardson Thu 20-Dec-18 22:54:09

I think you're totally normal OP, I had to do a similar thing in May, and still miss my dog terribly. The initial grief wore off after a few months and since then it comes and goes in waves, sometimes set off by associations. Missing him particularly now, as he loved to open his Christmas presents and it was very weird buying one for the remaining dog and not for him. But it's much easier than it was in the first few months, it does ease but I think after such a long time together you never entirely forget them, it's an incredibly close bond. Be well, and take care.

Spagyetti Thu 20-Dec-18 23:12:28

flowers. So sorry, OP. He looks fab in his santa hat x

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo Thu 20-Dec-18 23:25:05

I so feel for you OP my dog is getting old now and I feel sick at the thought of losing her the thought is just unbearable let alone the reality which I can’t even begin to imagine. I know you don’t want another dog yet but how about helping out at a rescue centre for a couple of days or walking an elderly neighbours dog? just so you have a bit of canine comfort, it may ease things a little. Your dog was so lucky, you gave them a wonderful life flowers

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Thu 20-Dec-18 23:31:36

Aww, so sorry. He looks just like my old boy, he was a black cocker but working, not show. He died four years ago this month and he was eleven. Five months later, through the power of Mumsnet recommending me a fab breeder who also happened to live near me, we got our next dog. It definitely took me a while to bond with him but what helped me was remembering that they’re like children, they’re all different but you still love them just the same. Hope you feel better. Don’t deny yourself the love of another dog. flowers

yiskasha Thu 20-Dec-18 23:45:55

We lost our beloved Westie 2 years ago - I still think about him every single day and miss him. Even today I cried when thinking about him. He was such a big part of my life. It's not as raw as it was 2 years ago but the grief is still there, however I focus now more on how great his life was, and how great he made my life! In August we adopted a Labradoodle and she has brought joy back into our lives. She reminded us of what we were missing - having a dog again is so wonderful! He made it possible for me to open my heart to another dog! It was the greatest gift he ever gave me!

Chesneyhawkes1 Thu 20-Dec-18 23:51:02

So sorry for your loss. It does get better with time. I lost my Dobie just after Christmas last year. She was 12.

I cried for days and then every day when I walked the other dogs as it made me think of her.

Slowly but surely I started to think of her with happy memories instead of tears.

I had a little cry for her the other day as it's getting near to the anniversary of loosing her.

Let it all out. Cry if you need to.

Jaynie27 Fri 21-Dec-18 05:22:35

Aww, thank you all so much. It’s such a lonely feeling as I don’t want to be the one who goes on about their dog, so I think most people think I’m fine. It’s really helped speaking to you all so thank you and TeaByTheSeaside I’ve looked into the bereavement counselling and will email them later today 💐xx

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Penguins1 Fri 21-Dec-18 12:27:46

Sorry to hear your loss. It must be really hard. I think I would say, take happiness and peace in knowing that you provided him with the best home and life possible. flowers

Eifla Fri 21-Dec-18 14:20:22

Your boy is beautiful. I lost my 14 year old in April and have never felt pain like it. I miss him every waking minute.

The heartache has been eased by a new puppy whom I love very much (a black Cocker Spaniel smile) but I would still swap him in a heartbeat for my old boy back.

I don’t really know what to say. I don’t think it gets easier, honestly. Sorry. You do learn to deal with it better though.

Chickenpie9 Fri 21-Dec-18 16:32:25

So sorry for your loss OP my little dog has a bad illness and I can’t stop crying over the thought of losing her so I can’t imagine how you feel when the worst has happened . Be kind to yourself .

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