Request to separate dog from baby

(36 Posts)
Surfskatefamily Wed 14-Nov-18 18:26:34

A few months ago i told MIL we'd really like to separate dog from our baby once he starts to crawl. Shes very reasonable and agreed. However house open plan and she doesnt want to put dog outside when its cold.
We suggested getting her a safety gate which would have to be quite wide and could put him in kitchen then. MIL agreed.
Bought a cheap gate, mil didnt like it. Tbf i thought it was a bit too crap too anyway. No problem tho, bought another more expensive one. Not simple to open and close.
Bought a third pricey one which is fancy sleek, fits perfect and open and closes easily.
MIL unhappy as it doesnt stay open. So iv suggested we get some sort of hook to keep it open. Then she said no she doesnt want it up.
I said its easy to put up and down so me or hubby could just put it up every time we come over.
She doesnt seem happy with that.
Im confused as she agreed already to this and it wasnt a difficult discussion at the time. I dont know whats wrong.
I dont think that the breed should matter but just so you know dog is a big staff x pitbull whoes absolutely lovely but so boisterous. He barges, jumps at you and licks faces and i just dont want him all over our baby.
Its the same with my folks. My mum has to shut her jack russel in garden and my dad has 3 german shepherds that are locked away. Im making sure to be equal in treatment and requests to all grandparents.
I guess my question is where do i go from here? And i am being reasonable arent i? I said to her today that iv spent a fortune on gates and i that i know she wont put her dog outside so what does she want to do. Going round tomorrow so any advice appreciated. Please be kind my MIL is lovely...just a little frustrating on this

OP’s posts: |
blueskiesandforests Wed 14-Nov-18 18:34:25

You won't be able to put your baby down downstairs if the staff is/ Pitbull has free run of the open plan downstairs. It's very frustrating as she'd already agreed to having a baby gate, but it's her house.

I wouldn't go around for longer than you can keep the baby in your arms for - hopefully with her son so you can pass the baby between you when mil isn't volunteering to hold and to make sure she doesn't put the baby down or decide to do introduction to the dog while you're on the loo or whatever.

It's going to be even harder once DC is crawling/ toddling.

Be clear you respect her decision but will have to alter your visits and eventually meet elsewhere to keep your child safe.

Surfskatefamily Wed 14-Nov-18 19:07:02

Thanks for replying...i guess so. We dont live far so its probably better she come here anyway. I dont think she wiĺl be happy with it but i cant think of another solution

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Twogirlsonelabrador Wed 14-Nov-18 19:24:51

I think maybe have a little chat with her, explain that you are just anxious that because the dog is large that you are worried that the dog might knock your little on over, or that your little one might hurt the dog! I think you are being absolutely reasonable, even though I adore dogs and have a wonderful Labrador I will quite often drop him off at my dads house if one of my children is bringing a friend home - he is lovely but just big and bouncy and not worth the risk. Explain to her that until your little one is a bit bigger you dont want her to miss out on seeing them, and if shes happier to come to yours that would be best.

LEMtheoriginal Wed 14-Nov-18 19:27:02

I assume you are not in the uk?

Racecardriver Wed 14-Nov-18 19:27:58

Just stop gong. You don’t have any other viable option.

mumsastudent Wed 14-Nov-18 19:29:14

old fashioned playpen?


Veterinari Wed 14-Nov-18 19:31:03

I’m a dog lover - which is why I absolutely believe that children and dog’s should be separated unless actively supervised. Anything less is dangerous - for both , and true active supervision is a real skill that requires a good understanding of dog behaviour.

I think you need an honest chat with your MIL

Surfskatefamily Wed 14-Nov-18 19:35:24

@lemtheoriginal yes im in uk. N thanks everyone for input. I hadnt thought of playpen so could certainly do that

OP’s posts: |
Eifla Wed 14-Nov-18 20:01:30

If your mother in law is thick enough to own - or claim to own - an illegal dog, then she’s thick enough to forget she originally agreed to the dog and baby being separated.

survivalmode Wed 14-Nov-18 20:05:56

Pitbulls are a banned breed in the U.K.

Surfskatefamily Wed 14-Nov-18 20:12:55

Oh really? I didnt think crosses were.

OP’s posts: |
LittleBLUEsmurfHouse Wed 14-Nov-18 20:22:54

Pitbull type is banned - they only need to look like one to be a banned dog so a Labrador x staffy can be technically be an illegal "Pitbull type" (which is why they are currently thinking of changing the law). Could it be a different bull breed cross?

survivalmode Wed 14-Nov-18 20:23:07

LEMtheoriginal Wed 14-Nov-18 20:23:49

Pit bulls pit bull types and crosses are definitely banned under the dangerous dogs act so i would think very carefully about describing him as such.

adaline Wed 14-Nov-18 20:27:02

The term Pitbull is really, really vague, though. Pitbulls are a type of dog, not a specific breed in themselves. As in, UK law bans American Pitbull terriers. But lots of other dogs can fall under the classification/type of "Pitbull" and none of those breeds are banned.

LittleBLUEsmurfHouse Wed 14-Nov-18 20:31:26

But lots of other dogs can fall under the classification/type of "Pitbull" and none of those breeds are banned

Actually they are banned if they look like a Pitbull, even if they aren't actually a pitbull.

BloodyBing Wed 14-Nov-18 20:33:35

I second the travel cot/playpen suggestion. Cheap and quick to put up and at least baby will be able to move about a bit.

Surfskatefamily Wed 14-Nov-18 20:34:26

It seems a bit of a grey area. Surely this would be flagged up at vets checks? I dont think bringing this up tomorrow would be helpful. Maybe hubby can mention it some other time

OP’s posts: |
adaline Wed 14-Nov-18 20:38:46

Actually they are banned if they look like a Pitbull, even if they aren't actually a pitbull.

Not automatically. The police can take your dog away and you're given time to prove the breed of your dog. If you can prove it's, say, a staffie or another bull-type breed that's not deemed to be dangerous, you can keep your dog.

Even if a dog is a genuine Pitbull, you can apply to keep your dog so long as you agree to certain conditions in public.

LEMtheoriginal Wed 14-Nov-18 21:07:24

I would absolutely not mention it to your vet. Your dog is a staffy cross! If you tell your vet there is pit-bull they are duty bound to report

Surfskatefamily Wed 14-Nov-18 21:13:11

Its not my dog so i dont do vet stuff. This isnt really what thread was about though.

OP’s posts: |
Surfskatefamily Wed 14-Nov-18 21:14:53

Thank you for flagging it though..hopefully she is aware. Managed to be ok with him for ten years so fat

OP’s posts: |
Surfskatefamily Wed 14-Nov-18 21:15:21

*so far

OP’s posts: |
Veterinari Wed 14-Nov-18 22:28:41

I’m not sure that reporting MIL’s 10 year old dog as a (possible) banned breed is really addressing the OP’s concerns or going to do much for family relations confused

Op talk to your MIL? What are her concerns about the gate

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