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No longer want to have our dog(147 Posts)
I feel awful saying this but I no longer want our dog. We brought him from a rescue centre almost 3 years ago and he is a very placid and nearly perfect husky dog. He's loving and calm but now I've had a baby I just can't cope with it all. My baby girl is 9 months old and trying to juggle working, running a house, looking after her and managing a dog is all too much. The dog hair is driving me insane. I know I am a house proud person and I have tried to let go of some of my ways however, I won't allow my daughter to be covered in dog hair and having it in her mouth and stuff. I don't have time to hoover everyday, which is what my house needs. He also needs walking at least once day, or more, and quite frankly I just don't have time as I always have more pressing jobs to do related to work, home or baby. My partner works a funny shift pattern so also no longer really helps out with the house or the dog.
Essentially I think it's time we did the fair thing and allow him to move to a more loving home where he would get more time and attention, where he isn't shut out from parts of the house, and where he gets looked after better. However, I just don't think my partner will see this and agree. What do I do?
Sounds like your problem is your partner not pulling his weight, not the dog. Poor dog.
No helpful advice but I think that's an awful thing to do. You are that dogs family and you say yourself it isn't a bad dog - how can you just give him away like he means nothing. Although if he would at least go to a new home where he would be loved and not treated like an inconvenience!! I never understand why people get dogs and then just give them away because they now have a precious child. A dog is for life.
Why isn't your partner stepping up?
Poor dog - pushed out because a baby has come along
I despise these threads and the people who post them. Poor dog.
Do you groom the dog regularly? Brushing him most days will prevent so much hair from getting around your house.
It is only fair on the dog to look at ways that you can minimise the hair and fit him in with the baby and work. That will also involve your DP stepping up and helping out.
If you can’t cope you shouldn’t have had the baby. Maybe you should get rid of her instead? Last in first out and all that.
1. Partner needs to pull his weight. Half of all baby, house and dog stuff, or it isn’t a partnership, is it?
2. Robot hoover
3. Make one room of your house a dog free zone so you don’t stress so much about the hair/baby combo.
Don’t neglect the dog. It’s not fair. I’ve been a working parent dog owner for many years so I do understand but your commitment to your dog is not an optional extra.
What do I do?
You honour your commitment to the dog you promised to look after for the rest of his life. He's been in rescue once, please don't send him back.
Get a dog walker? Brush the dog to reduce shedding (easy to do in the garden or bath to contain mess) and get your partner to step the fuck up and help. easy.
Well yes the dog will need walking! What are your working patterns? If it makes more sense for your partner to walk the dog than for you to then that’s what will need to happen.
Grooming will help a lot with the fluff everywhere.
Baby in buggy and walk the dog for an hour. That's all that's needed really.
What is the matter with people?! The OP isn't suggesting putting it down, simply rehoming it. If your circumstances have changed and you can no longer manage the dog then the kindest thing is to find it a new home with people who can give it what it needs.
The best thing you can do is put him up for beginning as heaven knows that poor beast needs a family that’s able, willing and keen to have him as part of their pack.
Your partner sounds like an arse and this is why unless you know that you’re going to remain 9000000% child free for at least 12 years you shouldn’t get a dog, especially if you need to work several hours a day.
Please never get a dog again.
(Don’t know why beginning came up)
Ps: don’t think of doing any quick fixes like Gumtree - ever. Blue Cross/Dogs Trust/Battersea etc only.
How awful for your poor innocent dog. A breed like that has a very high exercise requirement and a very dense coat, both of which you must have known and understood when you got him. Unless your partner is prepared to step in and help completely, it can only be fair on the dog to re-home him. You need to contact the centre you bought (not brought) him from. I despise this kind of lack of preparation for when a baby arrives. Dogs are so loyal and they're seen as too disposable.
This is why any couple who gets a dog (especially a large dog) as a substitute child before starting a human family pisses me off. Anyone knows that dog ownership is a serious commitment and not something you just do willy nilly.
You shouldn’t have got a large dog if you work ft either but that’s another thread.
Also agree that it's your DP who is the problem, not the dog. Very sad for the doggy.
Yes massively fucking unreasonable. So you wanted the dog until your baby came along and now it can fuck off. People like you shouldn’t be allowed dogs, they’re a commitment for their lives. Not just until you feel they’re too much hard work.
Some of these responses are ridiculous. Nobody knows what it’s like when you have a child until you have one, suggesting you should not have children if you have a dog is ludicrous.
If the OP can’t look after the dog as well as it needs of course she should rehome him. Life is unpredictable - children, illness, disability can all make it difficult to meet obligations longterm whether that’s to a pet, family members, employment.
OP, I got pregnant and it ended up being twins. My health has also massively deteriorated since I had them. We have two cats who sadly don’t get anywhere near as much attention as they did which makes me so sad but I do my best
If you think your partner will be reluctant he needs to take over the care you don’t have time to give. Its not all your responsibility.
Dogs aren't disposable and I can't believe you'd let your partner get away with not helping and give the dog away before tackling that. Especially as you say partner won't accept giving the dog away - so they would want to keep the dog but be totally unwilling to help?
That being said, thinking about it more, the dog would be way better off without uncaring owners like you and would probably be happier away from you. So as much as I totally disagree with it, it's probably best for the dog to go to a kind and responsible owner because you are neither.
Please don't ever get another dog.
A bit of dog hair won’t do the baby any harm.
Relax your house hygiene expectations a bit.
Of corse the dog needs walking but presumably you are out and about with the baby anyway so just take the dog along.
When there is a will there usually is a solution.
Oh and got your partner to pull his weight round the house.
I have two young children, pregnant with a third, a large dog that needs lots of exercise and a large house that needs lots of cleaning. The difference is I have a husband who pulls his weight, with the dog, the children and the house. If you can’t meet the dogs needs and your partner is unwilling to step up then the kindest thing is to rehome him.