DM hasn’t bonded with her dog

(21 Posts)
minniebow Thu 08-Nov-18 09:53:43

I’ve posted about this before in chat but really worried about my DM’s dogsad she was left alone all day for up to 12 hours at a time since they bought her at 8 weeks old. She’s not trained in any way and is still shut in a crate with puppy pads at almost 2 years old. She is large Labrador and is often locked in a small kitchen for the majority of the time and never gets walked. She just barks constantly whilst I visit. I have never seen DM touch the poor dog at all, only to shove it out the way. She never talks to it nicely only screams at it to ‘shut the fuck up’. It’s really heartbreaking and I’ve tried to talk to her about it but she gets very ‘upset’ and defensive. I wish the RSPCA would look past a full bowl of food sometimes! The dog needs to be in a loving home as I don’t think my DM will ever change

OP’s posts: |
minniebow Thu 08-Nov-18 09:55:52

Just re-read and I think it’s 8 weeks old that DM got her. Not a dog owner myself so not too sure. DM had the dog from when she could leave her mother anyway

OP’s posts: |
Santaispolishinghissleigh Thu 08-Nov-18 09:58:51

Next time you visit you need to remove the dog or you are no different to your dm imo.
Sorry but she is a bloody disgrace.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages Thu 08-Nov-18 10:06:25

Crikey, your assessment of the situation seems fair - it's not an acceptable way to keep a dog. Unfortunately the RSPCA will do fuck all if the dog has food, water and shelter.

Has your mum got any MH history, and has she had dogs in the past at all? Something rather odd is going on.

Unfortunately if this is a dog that has never left the house since it was 8 weeks old, it has missed out on the crucial socialisation period and will find the world quite a scary place. It will need an owner that is both loving and experienced to help it overcome it as much as possible.

Do you think your DM would ever be open to rehoming the dog? If she is, be very, very careful about which rescue it goes to. The RSPCA, for instance, PTS a substantial proportion of dogs for behavioural reasons, and I've been told by a friend who is ex RSPCA staff that my own undersocialised boy would probably have been PTS if he'd ended up with the RSPCA (he nearly did at one point, before I met him). Dogs Trust genuinely never put a healthy dog down, but are selective intake so may not accept your DM's dog. Many Tears have a lot of experience with undersocialised dogs as they mainly deal with ex puppy farm dogs, but I don't know what their policy is on owner surrenders.

BiteyShark Thu 08-Nov-18 10:20:15

Santaispolishinghissleigh the OP can't just take the dog. If it is chipped to the OPs mum then legally she can demand it straight back as stolen.

OP the best way would be to try and get your mum on side to rehome the dog. Perhaps try and come at it from an angle that it will free up her time and save her money to counter the defensiveness.

Santaispolishinghissleigh Thu 08-Nov-18 10:47:49

Tbh I would risk it.
Get her stuffed cat instead.

Ihaventgottimeforthis Thu 08-Nov-18 10:57:31

Why does she have the dog at all, if she gets no enjoyment from it? It must be costing her shedloads in food.

I would look to finding a local rescue or behaviourist who might consider talking to your Mum with a view to socialising, training or rehoming.
Unfortunately you can't just take the dog, and nor can a rescue centre or the RSPCA unless there is clear evidence of neglect.

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Ticcinalong Thu 08-Nov-18 11:26:20

That’s awful! That dog is being mentally and physically abused. Dogs need interaction and exercise, they are not additional extras! That poor dog is probably buggered for life now as it won’t have had any socialisation so won’t have any confidence in the world.
Contact lab rescue today and pray some knowledgable, kind person can save this poor dog from its miserable existence angry

pigsDOfly Thu 08-Nov-18 12:08:45

This is so sad, that poor dog. You say she hasn't 'bonded' with it but she clearly doesn't want to.

Why does she even want the dog in the house if she dislikes it so much. Is she normally a cruel person?

I think Bitey's idea is probably the way to go with this, looking at it from how much easier her life would be without the dog rather than talking to her about how she ill treating the poor thing.

minniebow Thu 08-Nov-18 12:17:57

Sorry for the late response! She has no connection with animals and I’m not sure why she bought a dog. I asked her and she couldn’t answer me. She’s never once said ‘I love my dog’ and it’s not normal. When I was a teen I had a rescue cat and she refused to feed it herself if I was at work and she was home. Then she kicked me out and kept the cat but still didn’t feed it. It didn’t eat for almost a week just survived on scraps from around the kitchensad if she can abuse and neglect an animal at the expense of being petty with me then she shouldn’t be allowed to own any pets. I wish it was more probable or I had reported her at the time but I was quite young. I always want to just take the dog to the RSPCA myself but DM would definitely call the policesad I’ve never seen the dog eat anything but it always has biscuits in a bowl and (dirty) water. No treats and zero toys it’s so saddening

OP’s posts: |
pigsDOfly Thu 08-Nov-18 12:29:16

Not sure what anyone can advise. She's abusing the dog and in your shoes I'd be very tempted to take it and let her report you to the police.

Clearly is has always been a cruel person who enjoys ill treating animals.

Santaispolishinghissleigh Thu 08-Nov-18 12:30:18

Take some pictures of the dogs conditions and tell her she hands it to you or you will be the one making phone calls.
And bloody mean it.

userxx Thu 08-Nov-18 13:19:03

Wow, I'm so sorry you grew up with a mother like sad Please just take the dog.

Ihaventgottimeforthis Thu 08-Nov-18 13:59:27

You can't just take the dog unless you can commit to caring for it yourself. If you hand it over to a rescue, either they won't accept it or you will get them in trouble. Sounds like your Mum would not give in easily!
If you just take the dog without being able to care for its needs and deal with the behavioural issues it will have, it will just be out of the frying pan and into the fire for the poor thing.
I would say, if you can get her to agree, contact a behaviourist/dogwalker and get them to regularly exercise & give basic training to the dog. If you can explain the situation to them, they maybe able to persuade your Mum to improve the dog's situation at home, or even perhaps eventually sign it over to a rescue. It will cost, though.

Skarlet2018 Thu 08-Nov-18 14:51:54

Could you make up a freind who's looking for a Labrador and convince her of the benefits of being dog free?

Maybe these people could advise? www.homealabrador.net/index.html

AgathaF Fri 09-Nov-18 18:43:12

That poor, poor dog. What a sad life.

So realistically, you know what is happening, so what do you think you can do about it?

OliviaStabler Fri 09-Nov-18 18:52:04

How awful sad I'd have to take the dog from her. I couldn't let this go on.

fivedogstofeed Fri 09-Nov-18 19:11:18

This is dreadful.
Do you think the dog is microchipped? If not, I'd be inclined to take her although speak to a labrador rescue first and make sure you have somewhere for her to go ( unless you're in a position to keep the dog yourself)

confusedmomm Fri 09-Nov-18 20:59:51

This has brought tears to my eyes. My dog is like a second kid to me, and I feel so so sorry for your moms dog. Please do something to get him out of there. Could you pop over and walk him sometimes until
You find a long term solution?

user1471465525 Fri 09-Nov-18 21:45:53

This is so sad.I couldn't let this go on .Please do something about it.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Fri 09-Nov-18 21:51:22

Poor dog. Poor you!.

I really don't understand why some people get dogs. Glad the dog has you to look out for her, but it is so sad. Labradors are such happy happy dogs, they are generally loving and need love in response. I love my dogs so much I just cannot understand your mum 's attitude at all.

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