Rehoming but not via a charity

(29 Posts)
GColdtimer Mon 22-Oct-18 00:03:36

Totally new to this board (but not to MN). We have decided to get a rescue dog and have been looking for a couple of weeks. Dds are 8 and 12. We are keen to get a cocker and are willing to wait for the right dog. I just found out A friend of a friend is looking to rehome their 3 year old because they are moving abroad with a job.

I need advice please. Should I steer clear? If not, what questions should I ask. We were just looking at rescues snd hadn't considered rehoming from a family.

Any advice would be welcome. Thanks.

OP’s posts: |
AvocadosBeforeMortgages Mon 22-Oct-18 10:25:06

I would strongly suggest that you have the dog independently assessed for temperament by a behaviourist and vet checked (+ sight of full vet records) before making any decisions. It's remarkable how much people will hide when trying to rehome their dog. After that take it home for a trial for a few days and see how it goes.

The advantage of going through a rescue centre include independent behavioural assessment and vet checks. I'd be telling you to steer well clear if you were looking at Pets4Homes or Gumtree; the only reason I'd even consider it is because they're friends of friends - and I say this as someone who rehomed a dog with issues from a friend.

GColdtimer Mon 22-Oct-18 10:26:57

So a quick update. I arranged to go and visit today. Just me and no kids. Said I would go first to meet her but I didn't want to tell the children or get them involved until I had met the dog and seen her in her own home. She called and said her partner wasn't prepared for us to have two visits.he us finding it hard and was thinking someone would go and take the dog away. So we all have to go or not at all.

I have said no I'm not willing to do that.

Any thoughts on that??

OP’s posts: |
GColdtimer Mon 22-Oct-18 10:27:54

Thanks avocados cross posted.

OP’s posts: |
ffffffffsake Mon 22-Oct-18 10:30:20

Your friend sounds ridiculous and is not acting in the best interests of her dog. Which is a real shame especially since she's failed to commit to it's needs herself.

SwaylorTift Mon 22-Oct-18 10:30:21

I think that's a bit of a red flag that there is a reason they don't want you to get to know the dog well first.

Eeeeek2 Mon 22-Oct-18 10:32:25

Stay well clear. They might be finding it hard but ultimately if they were thinking about best interest if dog then they would see that what you are asking is very reasonable and would do it.

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M0gg Mon 22-Oct-18 10:32:45

That's ridiculous and makes me think they're hiding something.

BiteyShark Mon 22-Oct-18 10:33:15

Total red flag. If I 'had' to rehome myself and cared about my dog and had nothing to hide I would want you to meet him and walk him on several occasions to make sure that you were fully committed to the dog.

MemoryOfSleep Mon 22-Oct-18 10:35:24

Please advise them to hand the dog over to a shelter. They sound like they may be the type to hand over to a randomer they've never met before, or worse, abandon the poor thing. Tell them it's free to hand the dog in and far more responsible than finding a home based on the 'take away during first visit' model.

GColdtimer Mon 22-Oct-18 10:41:19

Thanks everyone. I totally agree. I was imaging a couple of visits, a walk, maybe an overnight. The first visit was for me just to see the dog and the family. And from their point of view I thought they would want to come to my house too. I can't imagine just handing over my much loved pet to some random woman.

The dog is 2 and not been neutered. So is a show cocker. I'm really worried she may end up in some breeders hands if they don't act responsibly.

Im going back to searching the rescue centres.

OP’s posts: |
ffffffffsake Mon 22-Oct-18 10:47:56

I feel so bad for that poor pup sad how close is this friend? Since she's moving away anyway I'd be tempted to have a strong word about responsible rehoming...

tabulahrasa Mon 22-Oct-18 12:32:18

Can’t be finding it that hard or they’d be taking her with them tbh...

AvocadosBeforeMortgages Mon 22-Oct-18 12:33:33

As others have said, massive red flag. There's almost certainly something they don't want you to find out, and know that you will, rapidly. They also seem unable to differentiate been selling a second freezer on gumtree and a living, breathing dog.

Steer well clear.

pigsDOfly Mon 22-Oct-18 15:13:40

I can't imagine having to rehome my dog for any reason other than my own appalling health issues but going abroad would not be reason enough for me.

Whatever the circumstances I would never ever consider handing her over to some random women I'd never met before on the first and only meeting.

They clearly don't have the dog's best interests at heart, and I agree, they want to unload this dog as quickly as possible.

Poor dog, there's something very wrong there.

GColdtimer Mon 22-Oct-18 15:44:54

So to update you (she is not my friend but a friend of a friend), she called and apologised for earlier position and asked if I would like to visit today and the kids would be welcome another time. So perhaps against my better judgement I did. It transpires they are splitting up, the DH is going abroad and she just can't cope with the dog. She has 3 children, one of whom is disabled. The dog was lovely, but very, very, very excitable. I was there 30 minutes and she didn't calm down the whole time I was there. She was a little overweight as she hasn't been walked regularly recently. I said if I was to take it any further I would need to see full Vet records, have a vet check her over, and would need to have her for 24 hours as a trial (DH is a music teacher from home so our house is busy and the bell goes quite a lot, even though he has his own front door to his studio so greeting numerous kids wouldn't't be a problem but the bell would be.) Anyway, she said no it wouldn't be fair on the dog and dodged the vet question. So I have walked away.

I sent her the link to our local Blue Cross centre and said she might want to consider rehoming through that channel.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I felt bad walking about but something just didn't feel right.

OP’s posts: |
pigsDOfly Mon 22-Oct-18 16:00:48

Hard as it must have been it does sound like you've done the right thing.
Sounds like the dog has been a bit neglected with everything else that must be going on and is maybe just under trained and under walked.

However, not wanting to talk about vet records is a major red flag.

Hope you find your perfect dog.

BiteyShark Mon 22-Oct-18 16:01:38

Even with your update it feels like they are hiding something. The 'wouldn't be fair on the dog' simply doesn't wash as many people do trials at boarding for 24 hours before sending a dog there for 1-2 weeks to make sure everything is ok.

You did the right thing by walking away.

0lga Mon 22-Oct-18 16:04:29

You have good instincts and have made a wise decision.

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret Mon 22-Oct-18 16:44:48

North West Springer rescue have a couple of lovely dogs looking for homes ... I know you said cockers but aspanielisaspanielisaspaniel! 😆

GColdtimer Mon 22-Oct-18 19:09:57

Thank you for reassurance.

Am a bit sad but I know I did the right thing.

Bit far as we are in oxfird but thanks for letting me know!!

OP’s posts: |
Honeyroar Tue 23-Oct-18 22:01:35

I bet that the dog would calm down once in a stable home and had proper exercise (I've had a couple of second hand dogs like that), but i think you were right to stand your ground. The woman should have been totally open with you and open to your requests. Poor dog, I hope she does the right thing for it.

GColdtimer Mon 05-Nov-18 12:57:55

I just wanted to update the thread to say we have found a rescue cavalier King Charles spaniel through Many Tears. Here he is! My dds practically burst as we surprised them with him!

Thanks for you advice everyone.

OP’s posts: |
BiteyShark Mon 05-Nov-18 12:58:57

How lovely OP.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages Mon 05-Nov-18 13:19:20

What wonderful news @twofalls - he looks like a darling!

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