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How to decide its time to say goodbye?

(11 Posts)
VanCleefArpels Tue 09-Oct-18 08:23:19

Our 14 year old dog is, we think, nearing the end. She has a couple of small tumours on her face and tail (undiagnosed as we don’t want to put her through any procedures) and two large lipomas (again assume benign but not tested). She has very stiff back end (can’t crouch to poo, so poos walking along) and finds it increasingly difficult to get up from lying position. She stands and barks at nothing, her eyes are milky but she’s not blind. . She’s doesn't go out for walks but can potter about the garden. She basically sleeps all day and often leaves food in her bowl. The thing that makes us think time has come to make a decision is that she has started pooing in the house, indicating loss of control and/or memory issues? WE HAve also had a couple of incidences of vomiting bile in The last couple of weeks.

We don’t want her to suffer but neither do we want to pull the plug prematurely. Any guidance/experience gratefully received

OP’s posts: |
Lucisky Tue 09-Oct-18 09:20:31

At 14 you couldn't be accused of 'pulling the plug' prematurely, considering the age related conditions of your dog.
Our last, much loved, dog was nearly 14. He had bad arthritis and kept collapsing, heart, we think), which was distressing for him and us. Otherwise he was his normal self between times. I wanted to have him pts, but my oh persuaded me it wasn't time, as he generally seemed okay.
Then one day there was just a really sad look in his eyes. He didn't want to leave the house, didn't want to eat and looked done for. Difficult to explain the feeling he gave off, but we had him put down within 24 hours.
If I had my time again, I would have had him put down when I originally mooted it. I think with old dogs it's all about dignity. I felt ours lost some dignity by being allowed to get to the point where he was almost saying 'okay, let me die now, I've had enough'.
I was very sad he had gone, and still miss him, but I was happy he was no longer suffering.
It's a difficult decision, but it's about quality of life, not quantity.
My thoughts are with you.

Haberpop Tue 09-Oct-18 09:24:17

It is an awful decision to have to take but it is better to make it a day too early than a day too late.

Lynne1Cat Tue 09-Oct-18 10:04:38

She hasn't got much quality of life, has she? Poor girl. Try to think of whether she's happy with that life. Compared to how she used to be, a few years ago, she's really not got a lot of happiness, has she? I think the kindest thing you could do for her would be to have her PTS. She's relying on you to help her.

You'll miss her, but it would be for the best, for her. x

VanCleefArpels Tue 09-Oct-18 10:39:52

Thanks ladies - it’s helpful to hear what we secretly know in our hearts. It’s heartbreaking, our children have literally grown up with her.

OP’s posts: |
bigsighall Tue 09-Oct-18 10:45:25

‘A day too early rather than a day too late’ has always been my motto. I don’t want them to suffer because I’ve left it too long. Bloody hard tho. flowers

userxx Tue 09-Oct-18 13:17:20

‘A day too early rather than a day too late’

This completely. Its bloody heart-breaking but we have to do what's right by them.

poorbuthappy Tue 09-Oct-18 13:19:26

We lost out girl this year, the day before her 15th birthday.
She tried to run in from the garden and totally misjudged the step and smacked into the concrete face first.
She sat there all dazed and confused as I ran to her to make sure she was ok....and then I knew.

There was obviously a lot more to it, but at that moment I knew.

Dragongirl10 Tue 09-Oct-18 19:06:44

Oh op l am so sorry, but sadly it sounds like the time has come......
Sending you all hugs, sounds like she has had a lovely life and created lots of lovely memories, 14 is a great is so hard.

VanCleefArpels Tue 09-Oct-18 22:50:19

Thanks to all for lovely thoughts.

Of course today she has been trotting around in the sunshine, quite the thing, tail wagging and smiley. Almost like she knows this has been on my mind today!

DH and I have talked about it this evening. Barring anything happening in the meantime we are going To wait till DS comes home from Uni for Reading week at the end of the month. Then we will consult vet on options. Would hate DS not to have the chance to say goodbye, we’ve had her since he was 6

OP’s posts: |
SlothMama Wed 10-Oct-18 11:18:58

It is such a hard decision I know, my parents kept our 14 year old family dog alive for way too long and it was heartbreaking to see him with no quality of life.

It's not pulling the plug, it's letting her pass away with dignity.

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