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In-laws super negative about new puppy: need to vent(9 Posts)
DH and I have decided to get a puppy. He is joining our household in three weeks, and while everyone else has been really excited for us, my MIL and FIL especially have said some real negative things. They think that:
a) we can't take care of a puppy or dog because we both work full-time. We do both work, but my job is very flexible location-wise and I work at home 2 days a week at minimum. I'll work at home until the puppy gets its jabs and then I will bring him to daycare on days I'm in the office. We also have family that could pop in for emergencies. I don't think that this is cruel or unreasonable. It's no different than if you had a child and worked full-time.
b) We can never go anywhere and it's like having a child without any of the benefits.
Surely this is ridiculous. One of the reasons I want a dog is because I spend a lot of time home alone and get really lonely. DH works long hours (as do I, but with plenty of breaks) and I suffer from anxiety/depression. I would like a companion to take out and love and fuss over. I spoke to my psychologist and they have said it could be really good for me. I don't want children, and I think maybe they are upset because of that? I'm sure they would not have responded that way if I'd said that I was pregnant
c) What are you going to do when you want to go on holiday?
THEY HAVE CATS AND USE CATTERIES FFS. This really annoyed me.
Just need to vent about all this! I know having a puppy is a pain in the ass (trained my mum's when I lived at home), but they are just so negative and depressing. They are like that all the time which is why maybe it bothers me so much. I am worried about properly caring for my new pet and I'm doing plenty of research. I went to visit a couple days ago and he was so cute and I was really excited and they ruined it a little.
Ignore them, OP (if you can).
Puppies are hard work and, for some people, just not worth all the bother. I can understand that - even if I think they ARE worth it. Brace yourself, though. As the dog goes through all the problems of immaturity it may seem to them like they were right. Time and patience will prove them wrong.
Just a gentle caution - many daycare places won't take a dog so young and many others will take him but will just let him loose with the older and bigger dogs which isn't brilliant for him. Hopefully ou've chosen a daycare and spoken to them already, though?
You’ll need to be at home with him for a few weeks at first to establish toilet training. You’ll need to be letting him out for a wee every 20 mins or so or he’ll just get used to doing it in the house.
I can see where they’re coming from to be honest, about the full time working. It isn’t ideal to put a very young puppy straight into daycare, particularly if he isn’t toilet trained yet.
I work full time and raised a puppy using daycare who continued all the toilet training etc. Yes it was hard and I am not sure I want to go through the puppy stages ever again but it was so worth it.
You will always find people who are vocal and negative about lots of things and it sounds like your ILs are those type of people. I would ignore but equally never mention anything remotely negative to them about the puppy as you will get the 'I told you so'.
Thanks guys. Not planning on putting puppy into daycare straight away, but I'm not sure if that was clear in my post. I also have a SIL who lives at home, but stays in our house when we're on holiday and she adores dogs and wants to steal future puppy. I'm hoping that between me working from home, DH annual leave and help from sister, I won't have to rely on daycare as much. Everyone on my street has dogs, so perhaps this is a good opportunity to get to know the neighbours, ask for recommendations and maybe organise some play dates.
Mine went to a dog walker who looked after him in the day at around 12-13 weeks old. In fact that was the best thing I ever did as he has a few pals there that he gets to play with around 3 times a week. He gets to play with other dogs which he wouldn't get otherwise as when I am at home we walk on our own.
Not all daycares are equal and we had a disaster recently trying a new one out but the small dog walker type ones I find suit my dog the best.
Dogs are a tie that's a fact but then so what if you don't want a spontaneous rock and roll lifestyle .
I have just got back from holiday when my dog stayed with the person who does the daycare and I spent a lot of that time missing him and we have cut our 'non dog' holidays back as we prefer to spend time with him (done the holidays so much before that I don't feel like we are missing out at all).
A few gotchas though is the cost. Daycare is pricey but worth every penny in my opinion. Also think about backup if your dog is ill and can't go to daycare and you need to work.
I do suspect your ILs are just not 'dog people'. I have met lots of them but then again I am not a 'child person'
We work fulll-time and have a dog. It can work if you have the right support in place.
Do you already have daycare lined up? Because lots won't take very young puppies, and even if they do, not all dogs are happy in a daycare setting.
Are we married? Because this was (Basically) exactly what my parents said. I have to work from home a lot more than I used to, so was looking forward to having some company and having an excuse to get out for walks.
I was able to be around 24/7 for the first two weeks but now have a dog sitter who looks after her on the days when I have to be out of the house. I decided against using traditional dog-daycare as she was a really nervous little thing and a pet-sitter has worked brilliantly in that regard. Would that be an idea for you?
It has worked brilliantly. We did have a wobble with crate training initially, but have now settled into routines (That do not include her crate!).She is a lovely, lovely little thing and despite a few inevitable days of puppy-blues and regret in the beginning (From me - she is fed, cuddled & walked so her life is good!!!), she is now settled.
And my parents are converted, after all their negativity - they now insist on saying hello to her every time they skype / facetime (They live abroad).
Forgot to add two things: Using a Pet-sitter has meant that we have not had to worry so much about the Puppy being ill. She had a bout of kennel cough and apart from the one day of the week when the Pet-sitter had another dog with him, it was not a problem.
Also - I suffer from Anxiety and depression too, it is closely linked to another health issue I have. There were huge discussions with my husband & with my therapist about getting a dog, they were right. It has greatly, greatly helped my emotional state. In particular, it is a great ice-breaker and I now know quite a few regulars on our walking route through just making small talk about our respective dogs. I am much less insular and on the days when I am not well enough to go out....well, I now have a great cuddle partner on the couch!
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