New puppy,crying when left alone

(20 Posts)
retainertrainer Sun 16-Sep-18 07:58:59

Just after some advice please.

We picked our puppy up yesterday. She’s just fantastic. Had a great first night. She slept in her crate in the kitchen but cried when we left. She was clearly scared so I put the camping bed up and slept next to her crate,she woke to tell me when she needed the toilet and went outside.

This morning she’s been up early,had lots of play but again crying if we leave her alone in the kitchen.

Do we ignore this now that’s it’s day time? How long do we leave her to cry for? I went back in after 15 mins, didn’t make a fuss, just walked back in and started pottering about.

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retainertrainer Sun 16-Sep-18 08:06:13

I should add, we weren’t planning on leaving her in there for long we just came upstairs to get showered/dressed.

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BrokenWing Sun 16-Sep-18 10:19:36

dh slept downstairs with our puppy for around 10 days until he was clearly settled at night by himself.

your puppy doesn't know you are popping upstairs for a shower they just know you are there anymore, you need to train them slowly over the coming weeks to get used to you not being there. Can you take them upstairs with you when you go for a shower?

retainertrainer Sun 16-Sep-18 12:30:01

Thankyou for the reply. We’ve realised we need to take it really gradually with her so we’ve left her for just 2-3mins and she hasn’t cried then we’ve gone back in before she starts crying so she’s (hopefully) not making the association that crying=attention. I’ve got to leave her for an hour on Tuesday and 2 hours on Wednesday so we’ll try and build it up more. We’ll keep sleeping downstairs with her too.

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BrokenWing Sun 16-Sep-18 16:40:45

Is she just 8 weeks? Leaving a tiny puppy alone for 2 hours within 5 days of being them being taken from their mum is a bit early and she will probably be distressed. She also won't be able to hold her toileting for that long and could end up in a mess and distressed. is there anyone who can be with her while you are out or can you take her with you, maybe a pet sitter?

adaline Sun 16-Sep-18 17:50:25

Hang on, you're planning on leaving her for two hours on Wednesday? That's far too much for a pup who is clearly already distressed when you leave the room. When people say "build up the time left alone" they mean over a period of weeks, not over two days!

If you do leave her, expect to come back to mess (poo and wee, it's far too long for an 8 week old to hold their bladder while awake) and possibly a very distressed pup who has rolled/sat in her own mess. If I were you I would reconsider - either get someone to sit with her so she can be let out every 30 minutes or so (which is what you need to do for toilet training) or take her with you in a puppy sling or similar.

retainertrainer Sun 16-Sep-18 20:06:08

She’s 12 weeks old and her breeder (who is lovely and has given me lots of great advice) has said that she’s been regularly left for that length of time.

I’ll see how she gets on tomorrow but my neighbour can pop in if needed.

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retainertrainer Sun 16-Sep-18 20:11:13

This is a genuine question-all the people I know who have dogs work part or full time hours. I don’t know any of them that booked weeks off work to stay at home and look after them during the puppy stages.

I thought I’d been very responsible to arrange cover so that I only have to leave her for 1 hour on Tuesday and 2 on Wednesday during her first week.

I work part time but I can’t book blocks of time off during school terms and our puppy was too young to leave her mum during the summer holidays.

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adaline Sun 16-Sep-18 20:15:30

I took three weeks annual leave to settle ours in, and now he goes to daycare while we work, so he's never left alone for longer than it takes us to pop to the supermarket, really. He's eight months old now.

She may have been left at the breeders but remember she'd have been with her siblings/mum, and in the home she was born in. She's now in a strange home with strange people - she won't settle the same as she did in her original home.

I know lots of people get puppies and leave them for hours but personally I think it's not the right way to raise a dog. They're sociable animals by nature and don't do well if they're expected to spend large periods of time alone (this doesn't really apply to old dogs who happily sleep the day away, but more to pups and younger dogs who need lots of socialisation and training).

Just because everyone else does it, doesn't mean it's a) a good idea or b) will work for your dog.

retainertrainer Sun 16-Sep-18 20:22:38

I absolutely agree that they shouldn’t be left for long periods of time and ours won’t. The longest she’ll be left is 3 hours once a week.

I don’t think it’s realistic to say the dog will only be left for the length of time it takes to do a food shop. I don’t know anyone who does that and I know a lot of very responsible dog owners with very content dogs.

Thankyou for your advice I will take in board your points and my neighbour will be on standby for Wednesday.

It’s funny how similar having a puppy is to having a baby, even the guilt about them!

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retainertrainer Sun 16-Sep-18 20:23:28

*leaving them

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BiteyShark Sun 16-Sep-18 20:28:04

I spent 4 weeks at home with my puppy getting him settled. I work full time but with mix of home and office and at the end of 4 weeks left mine for around 3 hours before being picked up by daycare.

What I would recommend is getting a camera that streams to your phone so you can watch her when you are out to decide whether she is anxious or not. We had a few periods where BiteyDog was unhappy and I had to adjust things so he was more settled being left alone.

Showergel1 Sun 16-Sep-18 20:31:28

Get on reddit puppy 101. Lots of advice there.
We got our puppy at the start of the 6 weeks holidays and he was with me for 10 days without being left. He came everywhere including the bathroom.
We took turns sleeping on the sofa next to him in his crate for at least a week.

We crate trained him gradually, being gone for 10 seconds then 20 seconds etc so he knew that if we left we'd come back.

After the 10 days I was out the house for no longer than 2 hours a day.

Now he's left in his own 2 days out of 5 and my DW comes home at lunchtime on those days.

Looks on YouTube for positive training information.

Your puppy needs lots of training before being left alone to avoid separation anxiety and extinction barking.

adaline Sun 16-Sep-18 20:32:38

Well, daycares exist and are popular so obviously there are plenty of people who use them and who don't/can't leave their dogs alone for whatever reason.

Ours goes three days a week and there's a maximum of six dogs a day with three minders. There's never less than three dogs a day there and often the same ones (or a combination of the same 4-5 dogs). Of course dogs can be left alone for a few hours but they shouldn't left alone all day.

Just because people DO leave them, doesn't mean they should be left. And just because a dog appears to cope/be happy being left, doesn't mean they actually are happy, or that it's the right thing for them.

RedHelenB Sun 16-Sep-18 20:33:52

We left our pup for a couple of hours the second day we had him put a training pad down and he wee d on that. Like you most people I know leave their dogs for a few hours regularly. However our puppy did my cry when we left him to shower etc so we may gave dropped lucky.

jaynelovesagathachristie Sun 16-Sep-18 20:34:22

Me mum and dad took it in turns to sleep downstairs with each of the puppies, they need their family.

BrokenWing Sun 16-Sep-18 21:14:52

I took 2 weeks off work, then dh took the following 2 weeks off to settle our pup in when we got him at 12 weeks old.

All puppies are different and it takes time to get to know what yours is like. Leaving for 2 hours 5 days in when you don't know yet how they are settling in can lead to separation anxiety in some dogs that will be very hard to retrain.

Wolfiefan Sun 16-Sep-18 21:17:50

It was weeks before I could leave the puppy. Slept by her at night and left her for no longer than it took (me) to pee.
The breeder may have left them. But the puppies would have had each other and have been in the place they had known since birth.

Cath2907 Mon 17-Sep-18 11:33:12

I work from home so we had the luxury of a gradual introduction to leaving pup alone. He used to cry if I left him to go in the loo! It took us weeks of leaving him for a few minutes and then returning before he would just slope off and lie down if left. He still doesn't like it. He doesn't sleep he WAITS actively until we get back. By about 6 months old I could leave him for 3 hours either in the car (weather permitting) or at home. This means me and DH can take the DD swimming together without the dog on the weekend! It was a really frustrating time getting to that golden 3 hours though and not being able to do anything without working out who would stay with the dog was intensely annoying but I have a breed prone to separation anxiety and thought slow and steady was best.

Theoscargoesto Mon 17-Sep-18 13:33:25

Hi there. Mine is now just over 6 months. I was very lucky that she seemed to like her crate, settled happily in it from the start. If left loose in the kitchen (stair gate at the door) she would whinge if I left the room. It helped if I left a chew, or a kong: even if she whined for a couple of minutes, I'd come back and find her occupied. I started to leave her for short periods almost immediately, thinking that I wanted her to get the idea of being left. As she wasn't house-trained, I wanted accidents only in the kitchen where the floor is easy to clean, so just being able to go upstairs for a bit was important. I can't say how long I'd have left it before going back to see her as she never whined for more than a couple of minutes.
But I wanted to reassure you: by 10 weeks, I was leaving mine for up to 2 hours, and doing so hasn't been detrimental to my dog. To be honest, it was essential for me: I live on my own and there are (lots of) places dogs aren't welcome. If I'd been confined to barracks for weeks, I'd have gone nuts!

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