Hi everyone, gave myself a new account-name for this topic just in case.
I'm not totally sure if I should be posting in this topic, so apologies in advance if I've done it wrong.
I wanted to know if anyone has any tips on how to cope with one person in a relationship wanting to adopt a dog, and the other does not. I know this is probably a common story. I have accepted that my DP does not want any pets, but I am still struggling with the idea.
I love my DP so much and we have been together since A-Levels (now mid-thirties), but the idea of keeping pets never came up really because we were always in rented property, and always expected to be. Suddenly, we were given an opportunity to put a deposit on a house of our own (inheritance on his side) and now we can make our own rules!!! I thought of pets immediately. I would love a dog very much and have wanted a dog since childhood but, because of rent and so on, I never honestly entertained the idea beyond childhood so we never discussed it. A dog was the first thing I thought of when we moved here just over a year ago. But my DP said flat-out no. I accepted this but as I said, I am struggling with it somewhat.
(For anyone wondering: he loves dogs actually, but does not want to have any attachments or responsibilities). I respect that bringing a dog into our relationship would not be okay for him. But argh :(
For background: I'm autistic, and while I have friends and I do like people, people do give me a lot of anxiety and I do bond better with animals (not uncommon for autistics) – the idea of having to live animal-less makes me feel quite lonely, really. I appreciate my friends and my DP of course but I am sad, nonetheless. I just love the structure that pets do give me, and I love looking after animals so much (we have temporarily cared for friends' pets before).
It gets appalling when my PMT rolls around, I just cry and cry especially if I see someone walking their dog in the park :( Silly hormones!!!!
If anyone has any coping tips I would be grateful. I am quite good at distracting myself with other things but it can only go so far, you know. I am hoping it will settle with age, but it's been over a year now (of the "possibility" - I'm discounting childhood wishes here, etc.) and there has not been much change yet.
thank you for reading. I hope you are having a nice day today :)
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The doghouse
DP does not want dog - coping tips please?
54 replies
StrawberryP · 16/08/2018 17:29
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