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Puppy has to go :(

(133 Posts)
Bumchin101 Tue 20-Feb-18 16:56:54

We recently got a dachshund (31st Jan) she's 5 months old. Since having her my DS whose 4 has been so nasty towards her to the point she is constantly locked in the kitchein for her and DS safety. DS use to be so loving and caring and since getting dpup he has changed. I've tried disaplining DS but nothing seems to be working. Most of the time he's just playing with Dpup but he always goes overboard and ends up hurting her. It's getting so bad Dpup has started jumping up at people's faces and going to bite them and has even bit DS a couple of times. I'm worried as I have a 2 week old DD and concerned that dpup will hurt DD. I don't want to have to rehome dpup and we live my mil who has really bonded with her and gets upset everytime I mention it might be a possibility, but I have tried everything I can think if and nothing is changing. Not sure what i want from posting this really.

Saucery Tue 20-Feb-18 16:59:20

If you can’t keep her safe (and by extension your children, as she will react to protect herself) then get in touch with a reputable rescue and rehome her.

Worldsworstcook Tue 20-Feb-18 17:06:01

Sounds like DS is jealous of the dog. I know this doesn't need said but two week old baby? What made you get a puppy during this very stressful son for DS? He's contending with a new dog and new sister

Hoppinggreen Tue 20-Feb-18 17:08:12

Yes, rehome asap, preferably through breed rescue or return to the breeder.
It’s too much to cope with a puppy, new baby and 4 year old and someone will get hurt ( or maybe the puppy as it’s a small breed)

BlondeB83 Tue 20-Feb-18 17:11:29

A puppy and a baby? Blimey. Contact a good rescue, they will easily find a good home.

HarrietKettle Tue 20-Feb-18 17:12:03

Can you return to the breeder? If she was responsibly bought from a good breeder that should be an option.

Velvetdragon Tue 20-Feb-18 17:19:09

Mixing children and pets can be hard work! It's often a case of managing the situations and interactions between the two to ensure both dog and child are learning how to behave appropriately. It's not always easy! If everyone in the household is on-board I would recommend contacting a qualified trainer or behaviourist who will be able to visit you and offer suggestions about the best course of action. Also, Most large rescue websites have an information section which will give you tips on managing and improving the situation. So that might be worth a look.
Ultimately, you need to decide what's best for your family and the puppy. Having worked in rescue centres this is quite a common reason given for rehoming pets. If you feel that's what you want to do, I'd suggest doing it sooner rather than later so that your pup doesn't have too many more interactions which make it feel like it's only option is to bite. A dog of any breed has the potential to bite when pushed to the limit of its comfort/tolerance it just natural self defense. Its also not great for you son.
Sometimes it's just not a great fit so please don't feel bad if you do rehome the pup! But please try not to advertise on online selling sites, do go through a rescue. There are breed specific rescues. I'll stop rambling now

Bumchin101 Tue 20-Feb-18 17:19:43

@worldsworstcook I honestly do not know what we were thinking to be perfectly honest. I generally didn't think DS would act this way as he spends time with my mum who also has a dog and he never does this to her. I'm gutted as I've always wanted a dachound and thought DS would love having a dog too. DS is so gentle with his sister so don't understand why he's like this with the dog. This whole experiance has made me severly depressed and just feel like im failing at everything and just gob smacked my son can behave like this.

PhelanThePain Tue 20-Feb-18 17:24:44

Sounds like DS is jealous of the dog.

Or new baby and taking it out on the dog.

Baffled why anyone would get a puppy a week before having a baby! confused

Bumchin101 Tue 20-Feb-18 17:28:48

@Harrietkettle I have contacted the breeder but she's not happy to have the puppy back as she's been with us for a while and her microchip has been changed over to us.

@velvetdragon we have looked into some training classes but there aren't any in my area and i do not drive and the ones that comes out to us cost too much money. I have read many books and blogs on this breed and have tried everything they have suggested but nothing seems to work with either of them.

I know deep down she will have to go and I know it's going to upset everyone. I've even told DS she will have to go to another family if he doesn't start being nice to her, he will stop and then purposely stand on the dogs tail and thinks its funny when I tell him off but he will cry when u mention she might have to go! Im just so gutted it's come down to this.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages Tue 20-Feb-18 17:35:23

If you can't cope then it's best for the dog to be rehomed before these new behaviours become ingrained.

Which county are you located in? We might be able to point you towards some good rescues.

You can also find the breed rescues via www.thekennelclub.org.uk/services/public/findarescue/Default.aspxhttps://www.thekennelclub.org.uk/services/public/findarescue/Default.aspx

Whatever you do, don't try and rehome privately; it's a minefield and you don't have the capacity as a private individual to properly vet prospective new owners. I say this as someone who owns a dog (a dachshund cross, by coincidence) that has been rehomed privately so many times to a series of unsuitable homes that he's now on owner 5 and he won't turn 2 years old until the summer. I've spent 6 months working on his behavioural issues (started when he was with owner 4, a friend) and we're not there yet. Don't let the same thing happen to your dog.

PhelanThePain Tue 20-Feb-18 17:36:42

You have to get rid of her. You haven’t the time or skills to look after her properly. Your son doesn’t get it and with a new baby you can’t be supervising him constantly.

Why did the breeder have a 4 month old puppy?

PhelanThePain Tue 20-Feb-18 17:37:13

And why didn’t you check their policy on taking her back before you bought her?

BiteyShark Tue 20-Feb-18 17:38:52

Second all the advice on rehoming through a rescue and not privately. Pup hasn't had the best start so you owe it to him to make sure his next home is properly vetted.

Whatdoiladymcbeth Tue 20-Feb-18 17:39:02

Rehome the poor thing, she’s plenty young enough to receive proper training to undo her current behaviour. Send her to a breed specific rescue.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages Tue 20-Feb-18 17:39:03

Having had a quick look, Dachshund Rescue state that they have a very long waiting list of prospective owners, so your pup won't languish in kennels www.dachshundrescue.org.uk

You do, however, need to be very honest about her issues so that she's not rehomed with young children or a first time owner with no idea how to address behavioural issues.

Bumchin101 Tue 20-Feb-18 17:44:27

@phelanthepain we got the dog 5 weeks before I was due with DD. Hoping 5 weeks was long enough for 5he puppy to settle a little and for DS to be use to her.

Yogagirl123 Tue 20-Feb-18 17:46:46

What a shame OP, accept that you have made a mistake, your not the first and won’t be the last sadly. I have seen many post like yours, not a nice situation for anyone including the puppy.

Obviously, you don’t want your children or puppy hurt. I agree with PP’s rehome your pup through a respected rehoming charity as by the sounds of things you just don’t have to time to train the pup. Your DS is learning to share attention and perhaps the pup is a step to far with a new sibling.

Of course it will be upsetting letting the pup go, but you owe it to the pup so she can have the home she deserves. It’s just the wrong time at the moment, puppies are very hard work. Much like a new baby.

Velvetdragon Tue 20-Feb-18 17:47:18

It's not an easy situation so I really feel for you. I'm surprised at the breeder, it shouldn't matter about the dog's age, they should still take it back.
It's difficult for children to understand how to behave around animals. My little was similar so we've been managing the situations making sure my dog gets plenty of fun time away from the child and also that the child has plenty of attention too, she was mostly misbehaving when I was busy doing other things and smacking the dog would guarantee attention. It's not always easy and I'm not sure I would have been in a fit state to cope with it all 2 weeks after having a baby, so good on you for trying!
Get in touch with some rescues, there's often a wait list to hand your dog in but they may have a behaviourist who can help in the mean time (maybe for a small donation).

PhelanThePain Tue 20-Feb-18 17:47:41

Did you do no research at all? I mean a simple post here on MN would have told you that it was pure madness to get a puppy 5 weeks before having a baby. Especially with a 4 year old too!

HarrietKettle Tue 20-Feb-18 17:49:24

I really think pets and small children are just not a great mix in so many situations. Rehoming centres are full to the brim of animals that have ended up there due to this exact reason.

PhelanThePain Tue 20-Feb-18 17:54:56

It's not always easy and I'm not sure I would have been in a fit state to cope with it all 2 weeks after having a baby, so good on you for trying!

I’m afraid I completely disagree with this. It isn’t good that you tried. It was very silly and irresponsible that you tried to have a puppy within weeks of having a newborn. People shouldn’t be applauding that.

Polpette Tue 20-Feb-18 17:55:21

I'm sorry you're in this situation OP, it must have been a hard decision to make. Dachshunds are wonderful dogs but they need experienced care and are not the best dog for young children. You could try the Red Foundation who are a breed specific rescue and will be able to help.

PositivelyPERF Tue 20-Feb-18 17:57:48

They are such a delicate little breed that are prone to spinal problems and your child is being cruel to the point that the poor pup is going to get seriously injured or worse. Did you do any research on the breed other than they’re cute and I want one? Please get a new home for that wee pup and preferably not in a family with young children. Dachshounds need to be have their paws totally touching the ground if you are setting them down, their backs need to be kept straight when being lifted, they should not go up and down stairs so you should have a baby gate on.

It might be best to wait until your child is older and has more empathy with animals, before getting another dog.

Nyetimber Tue 20-Feb-18 18:00:48

Sounds like your son is jealous of the new baby and taking it out on the puppy. Poor puppy.
I can’t believe you thought it was a good idea to introduce a new baby and a new puppy into a household at the same time. You’ve ended up with a puppy that needs rehoming or going to a rescue centre and an unhappy little boy. A puppy was never going to be a good babysitter for a little boy whose nose has been put out of joint.
Punishment is probably going to build resentment so I’d get rid of the puppy as soon as possible (could grandparents take it?) Then spend time focusing on making your son feel he remains number one, that he is loved and gets your attention.

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