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Advice please

(24 Posts)
QueenFuri Thu 09-Nov-17 16:14:13

Please be kind but I think I'm going to have to rehome my dog and the thought if it is breaking my heart, in my old flat which I was on the 3rd floor and had 4 sets of neighbours in the 9 years I had the dog not one complained about him when I was out and he was home not for long maybe 3 hours max. In my new house which is a semi detached my next door neighbour keeps complaining he can hear him when I'm out I've been here 6 months now and I don't know what else to do. I try and take him with me when I can but I can't take him everywhere. I've stopped going into the school on the school run and wait at the gates with the dog no dogs allowed on the premises , I've even stopped going shopping and get everything online, three weeks ago I nipped to the shop 4 houses along I was gone under 10 minutes and he put a note through my door. Today I had a emergency hospital app and had to go into the school for my DS2 as DS1 has drama club and he was waiting for me complaining the dog was noisy. I've tried plug in diffusers  and pet rescue remedy, distracting him with food. I'm a single mum recently split from my ex he won't take him it's bad enough being on my own at night every night now I'm in 9-3 on my own as I currently can t work due to illness. I've tried the two nearest rehoming places but they are full. I don't want him to go anywhere I've had him since he was 11 weeks and he's now 11 but I'm going slightly mad being stuck in with no one to talk too I don't know what else I can do.

Pombliboo123 Thu 09-Nov-17 16:18:33

Can you set up a camera or audio whilst you at out to see if the dog is in fact being a nuisance and your neighbour isn't just a crazy fucker??

BiteyShark Thu 09-Nov-17 16:21:40

I was going to say the same as PP, get a camera and record what the dog does when you are out to make sure that he really is making a noise.

yumscrumfatbum Thu 09-Nov-17 16:23:28

I think you need to establish whether the noise is unreasonable. Dogs do bark but if you are only popping out briefly it won't be going on for long. I agree you need to record it so you can judge for yourself. Local council websites provide info on what is considered a nuisance. My dog barks at people/ other animals outside so I shut him in the back of the house when I leave him x

Uvegot2bkidding Thu 09-Nov-17 16:23:50

Your neighbour sounds a bit nutty! Trying to record the dog is a good idea, or ask him to do it so he has evidence of noise for you and you know what he can actually hear! Don't rush in to rehoming him, your neighbour sounds a little difficult.

ProfessorCat Thu 09-Nov-17 16:26:29

Are you absolutely sure your dog is making a noise when you're out?

I say this because I had a similar situation. I'd had a dog in my mid terrace for years with no issues. New neighbour moves in and we immediately get a notice enforcement letter from the council, various visits etc. I was beside myself. I knew my dog wasn't a particularly barky dog, only when the postman came or someone knocked.

I set up a camera and it turned out that as soon as I left for work, the neighbour was deliberately knocking the door and shouting at my dog through the letterbox, then recording the barks and sending them to the council.

He made my life an absolute misery. I went round to confront him with the video evidence and he came out, twisted my arm behind my back and said he hated dogs and if I didn't get rid of it, he'd endure it would die.

Called police, wouldn't do anything despite a hospital visit for my arm. Council said he submitted the recordings and they were excessive. He'd put false times on his "log", even saying the dog had been barking when we were on holiday with the dog.

They said we'd have to get rid of the dog or pay a massive fine which we couldn't do. It was one of the worst times of my life and I was terrified for my dog's safety and ended up taking him to work with me every day and keeping him in my sight at all times. It was awful living next door to that man.

I had to sell the house and move.

Sorry OP, off on a rant there but please check your dog is actually barking as some people are just twats.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 09-Nov-17 16:27:05

Definitely check he’s actually barking - leave your phone recording at home and pop to the shops

And there’s LOADS you can do for separation anxiety - stuffed Kongs, toys, walking out the house for 2 minutes then back in (not fussing the dog) - build up every to ten minutes, half an hour, one hour etc - don’t jangle keys, don’t say goodbye

You’renowhere near rehoming !

Pombliboo123 Thu 09-Nov-17 16:27:09

Additionally as PP says... what constitutes as a dog making a nuisance? Mine bark when I come home from work for about the 20 seconds it takes for me to get from the car to the flat... nobody has said anything or complained because I don't think 20 seconds a day is unreasonable or antisocial

Ceesadoo Thu 09-Nov-17 16:33:32

Ohhh this is such a horrible situation for you. I had to move out of a rented flat because of my chihuahuas’ barking. We had a very unreasonable neighbour. I really don’t think you should get rid of your beloved pet. It seems like your neighbour is being most unreasonable. Dogs bark but walls are thick. My next door neighbour’s dog barks when she’s out but it really isn’t a problem. It doesn’t stop me doing anything.

If your dog was barking through the night.. that would be a different story, but I don’t think you or your dog is doing anything wrong.

Wolfiefan Thu 09-Nov-17 16:35:16

I'm sorry OP that sounds really stressful. Recording it is a great idea. Unfortunately it sounds like separation anxiety. If it is then it can be treated but it's difficult.
For now you can't leave the dog.
Could it be because of the separation and moving?
Unfortunately I think you are going to really struggle to find someone to take on a dog that's 11 (insurance would be an issue) and with possible separation anxiety.

niknac1 Thu 09-Nov-17 16:40:50

This neighbour might be grateful if your dogs barking stopped his/ her house being robbed. You could always say that your dog is a good deterrent for all the nearby houses. Also Id rather have a dog barking than lots of other undesirable alternatives. Maybe try the kings you stuff peanut butter and treats in with some background music or radio or tv. Sorry if you’ve already tried these.
It’s all about perspective, my neighbour’s break in was disturbed by my dogs barking and we have never got any complaints but maybe our neighbours are more understanding.

niknac1 Thu 09-Nov-17 16:41:12

kongs

QueenFuri Thu 09-Nov-17 17:02:52

Thank you yes I'm going to set up a camera tomorrow morning and leave him some treats around. When I'm home all he does is sit on the sofa beside me, he will bark when someone knocks but not that often. A friend suggested a wrap t-shirt thing so I'm going to give that ago, I don't think it's so much barking but whining. If I came to the house the back way say and he can't see me too greet me I can't hear him but I hate the thought of upsetting people it's making my already bad anxiety worse.. I'm also due to go into hospital for an operation soon and will need to leave him obviously I'll have someone check on him feed him take him his walks.

Shambolical1 Thu 09-Nov-17 17:51:06

Leaving him treats about probably won't cut it, if he's worried you're not there. If you have a Kong, stuff it well with his favourite things and freeze it. A standard size Kong well stuffed will give you about forty-five minutes with a determined dog. Give it to him about ten minutes before you leave to make sure he's invested in getting the food out of the Kong before you go.

Ideally you'd have a dry run with him having the Kong while you're there, so he really gets into it, and then do the ten-minutes-before thing when you have to go out. Leave the radio or tv on so that there is background noise.

This isn't a complete cure but it will at least give you time to do the basics, hopefully without him becoming too upset. He's had a lot of change at quite an old age so it may take him a little while to settle. Your neighbour does sound unreasonable if you are only leaving the dog for limited lengths of time; I don't think, however, you'll be able to leave the dog there, unaccompanied, while you're in hospital with only visitors popping in. It would be better if somebody stayed with him or he was able to go stay with somebody.

Oops4 Thu 09-Nov-17 18:23:02

I agree with others. Your neighbour may not like hearing your dog but unless it's actually a nuisance he might just have to deal with it. It's a semi-detached, you hear noises. He would really have to prove it was causing an actual nuisance. I understand you won't want to get off on the wrong foot but if he's making a mountain out of a mole hill out of this then I suspect it won't be the last thing unfortunately.

Greyhorses Thu 09-Nov-17 18:37:31

Personally I would tell this neighbor to sod off.

Dogs bark, kids run around, sometimes people shout and it's part and parcel of living in a flat.

Our dogs bark occasionally, it's life and the council wouldn't care less if I was reported as it's classed as reasonable noise provided it's not going on for hours or late at night.

SparklingRaspberry Thu 09-Nov-17 19:01:11

Tell your neighbour to do one!

It's not as if you're leaving your dog to bark all day every day. There's not even any proof he barks/whinges at all!

He sounds like a right arse.

Wolfiefan Thu 09-Nov-17 19:30:06

We don't know if the dog is a noise nuisance. The filming would tell you. TBH I would worry most about whether the dog is distressed.
@QueenFuri
I'm sorry you need an operation. I hope you're ok and it all goes smoothly. This may be completely irrelevant but can I just mention The Cinnamon Trust? They are a charity that help people who are ill or elderly etc. They offer walking or even foster if needed. Worth thinking about?

QueenFuri Thu 09-Nov-17 21:23:15

Thank you I'm going to film him tomorrow morning whole I do the school run it's 5 minutes there and 5 back so I won't be long and see what he does. He's such a soppy big git he's a collie x who still acts like a pup and gets enough exercise part of the reason I took this house was it's close to open fields and a big park with a large garden when he's outside he doesn't make a peep. My DS's and his cat sister would be heartbroken if he had to go.

Wolfiefan Thu 09-Nov-17 22:43:16

If it is separation anxiety then you can't leave him. It's something that proper behavioural advice could help with.
Adaptil, crate training, leaving with toys/puzzles/treats, putting a radio on etc can all help if it isn't SA.
I really wouldn't be thinking about rehoming. An 11 year old with issues won't be easy to rehome anyway. He's your pet. You do need to try and work through the issues.
Another thought. If it's a new behaviour then a vet check would be in order.

applesareredandgreen Fri 10-Nov-17 16:54:33

Does your dog have free run if the house or is he shut in one room? We normally shut our dog in the kitchen which is round the back of the house when we go out. He has a cage and. Basket to get comfortable and we leave him a stuffed kong, a 'star feeder' with biscuits in and his antler chew. I also put this tumble dryer on if j can as he loves the warmth and the noise blocks out any noises from outside.

If we leave him the run of downstairs and he is in the front he watches through the window and then barks at things he sees, of at noises.

You could also try a Thunder Shirt or Kalm coat, which wraps your dog up And helps him feel safe. We found this helpful when he went through destructive stage as older puppy and still use if he becomes over excitable at visitors.

Totally agree as others have said to record him as one persons idea of acceptable noise can be quite different from another's. He may just need time to settle in your new home, and if you are never going out without him he isn't going to get used to it so I'd keep on leaving him a short time .

Wolfiefan Fri 10-Nov-17 16:57:34

How did the filming go?

Floralnomad Fri 10-Nov-17 19:55:23

I really wouldn’t get too stressed , sounds like you have a neighbour problem not a dog problem . I would start keeping a log of when you go out and when you get back and also if every occasion that he barks when you are in with him , time , length of bark etc . Also if you hear any other neighbourhood dogs barking make a note of that . This way if the neighbour does report you to the council noise people you can demonstrate that you are taking his issues seriously and also they an compare any notes he has made with your own . Do not get rid of your dog , likely hood is he would just find something else to moan about like the children / TV / DIY noise etc .

NoSquirrels Sat 11-Nov-17 07:55:24

What does your neighbour say when you speak to him face to face? Have you explained the measures you're taking to address it? He needs to understand that he might need to be patient while you do this.

Sympathies - unreasonable neighbours are the worst.

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