Desperately looking for some advice about my DS’s fear of dogs.
He is nearly five and has always been nervy around them - for example, when we’re out in the street he will move to the other side of me if a dog passes us. Occasionally he’ll become a bit teary, too, and he definitely does not like to be approached by them.
The problem is that in January my sister got a Bolonoodle puppy. DS is very close to his cousins (her children) and usually visits them once a week at least. However, since the arrival of the puppy this has become increasingly difficult to manage - he won’t be in the same room as the puppy, screams if she goes near him and literally shakes with fear. He is hysterical if asked to try stroking her or just be in the same room while she is on her lead.
I looked at the Dogs Trust website for advice and we have been trying their steps to make things easier. We read books with friendly dogs, watch films and TV programmes with them in, have talked through his fears with him, have gone for walks with the puppy on a lead, and tried to introduce him to her slowly. But still, as soon as he is in a room with her he is absolutely terrified. His fear of other dogs has diminished a bit, though.
I think the problem is compounded a bit by the fact that she is obviously very bouncy and will jump up at newcomers to the house. As he is little, this obviously means that she is close to his face. He has said he is scared she will bite or scratch him.
So as not to drip feed: we think there are a couple of reasons for his nerves around dogs:
- Neither DH and I are really dog people so we probably haven’t helped the situation by being distant with dogs in the past - we don’t run away from them but we are not openly affectionate with them. However with the puppy I have tried to fuss and pet her as much as possible to show DS how harmless she is - and she is very, very sweet which makes it hard to resist cuddling her.
- Our neighbour has two very aggressive jack russells who bark at us continuously. Whenever we go through our front door (we’re a terrace) they bark, and if they are in the back garden at the same time as us they go beserk and throw themselves at the fence, barking and snarling. We try to ignore them but obviously it can be quite intimidating for DS. Usually the neighbours hear them and fetch them in after a couple of minutes, but it’s not a great situation.
Sorry - this is really long. Basically, we just don’t know what to do next to make this easier for DS. We desperately want him to be ok around the puppy, partly so he can maintain his great friendship with his cousins, and partly because we don’t want this to become a big issue for him as he gets older. But we don’t know how to help him. Has anyone got any advice, please?