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Am pretty sad about the dog, but know that in real life I'd be told AIBU...

(30 Posts)
lborgia Wed 04-Oct-17 22:52:38

We acquired a dog last month. She is the sweetest thing, already 8 years old, and DH's colleague has just come out of what sounds like a grim separation. He is about to move to a flat where dogs are not allowed.

Our dog had a dog partner in crime, who had been around the entire 8 years, but who died shortly before she came to us. So she has gone from a house with grown up/teenage children, mum and dad, and dog best friend to being in house alone for 10-12 hours at a time. So she was delighted to have us I think smile. The kids (older primary school age) adore her, and she gets a huge amount of attention, which she pays back a squillion times.

The "dad" told DH "she's fine, never had any problems/illnesses to speak of", but that was pretty much it. I've gone off at DH this morning because I've been asking for the name of their vet so I can at least get something from them...

The previous owner also swears her vaccinations are up to date, and that he did ticks/worms etc just before she came to us..and I have no reason to disbelieve him (apart from anything, DH is his boss, so he wouldn't want it to make work difficult I suppose!).

A week ago I took her to our local vet for a thorough check up, and discover that she has gum disease and a mammary mass.

The teeth can be cleaned today under GA, and they'll be fine as long as we keep on top of it now, but the mass is, according to the vet, a 50/50 thing.

We've ONLY had her 3 weeks, but coming home from the vet with her collar and lead this morning was pretty depressing, and I felt so sorry for her (even though she doens't know why, I know that).

AIBU to expect more of people? I'm going to just drop in that without any further surgery (if the mass needs excising), or x-rays (to see if the mass has spread to her lungs if it turns out to be CA), the bill is already 400GBP, for the GA, teeth cleaning, biopsy, histopath,

I did not hesitate to pay, obviously, but the whole thing just adds to feeling a bit shit. I know the kids have all gone off to flats/uni etc., but no one even wanted to say goodbye to her (she came to us for a trial weekend and just stayed).

I love her already dammit, and eldest DS is besotted. He understands that if she is ill, at least we've give her an amazing home for the moment.

Bugger and bother.

Feliciaxxx Wed 04-Oct-17 23:10:47

It's possible that if home life was complicated for the family, she didn't get as much attention as she should have, especially if she wasn't showing any signs of ill health. Just be glad that you have given her a wonderful home if things do turn out to be more serious. If she was my dog and the lump was cancerous and had spread, I would keep her until she looked like she was uncomfortable and then have her PTS. Vets run businesses and will run up mega bills (I'll no doubt get flamed for this) if you don't state your circumstances at the outset. Good luck with her x

lborgia Wed 04-Oct-17 23:15:20

Thanks Felicia, I forgot to say that (too busy being pathetic), I do understand that if human circumstances were trying, she might just have got left behind in the chaos sort of thing.

I agree, that is my plan - to just keep her until she seems uncomfortable, but I couldn't, in all good faith, not at least have the biopsy. If that comes back OK, then we're fine. If it's not, then I'd have the x-ray done. I dont' see the point in the surgery if it's already spread tbh so maybe I'd be slated for that here?

The vets here are really expensive full stop. All of them. They did give us insurance though (the cut off is 8, but we didnt' know exactly how 8 she is!), and that has made a big difference. They also seem pretty practical; they know we limits.

Feliciaxxx Wed 04-Oct-17 23:49:41

That sounds like a plan then. Friends of mine have had their dogs operated on and then given chemo etc and the dogs just look ill and unhappy and it doesn't seem to extend their lives by much at all. I have always had dogs and am pragmatic about it all I suppose. Check out the insurance as well as in my experience, the companies will wriggle out of paying if they can - pre-existing condition is always a good one!

pigsDOfly Thu 05-Oct-17 11:08:42

All I can say OP is thank god she's got you to care for her in what could be the last bit of her life she has left. Sounds as if she's been rather neglected of late. It must be a very sad time for you.

I'm also someone who doesn't believe in painful invasive surgery for animals. They don't understand why they're going through the pain and upheaval of the treatment and it probably won't give them more than a short while longer to live. A decent quality of life is all they want both in health and living terms.

lborgia Thu 05-Oct-17 11:26:47

Well, she's home, and currently using our bed as her own ICU smile. The vet we saw this evening said that from what they saw of the mass when doing hte biopsy they are very confident that it's benign and thought I was completely reasonable to leave it where it is, if that is the case.

thanks for the nice words Pig, means a lot - ooh, and Felicia it turns out it wasn't actually an insurance plan, just something these vets do, so you pay a lump sum per year and then get as many free consultations as you need, free vaccinations, etc etc..and 20% off shop / feed stuffs. So that makes more sense. It has paid for itself already hmm. Not sure it would always be thus, but worked for us.

Thanks again, am feeling somewhat cheered... glitterball

FarmerGilesRockfordFiles Thu 05-Oct-17 11:35:50

OP, I've got tears in my eyes for her.

I know the kids have all gone off to flats/uni etc., but no one even wanted to say goodbye to her (she came to us for a trial weekend and just stayed).

I know I'm a bit of a crazy dog person but this broke my heart. When I was at university, I used to go home every week to see the dog. My mum thought it was because I was homesick and missed her. It really wasn't blush

Just wanted to say she's landed on her paws with you and you sound completely wonderful and lovely. She'll have a lovely life with you, no matter how long that life is.


pigsDOfly Thu 05-Oct-17 11:48:17

Oh that's great news about the biopsy. Hopefully lots more years ahead with her.

Floralnomad Thu 05-Oct-17 14:31:44

£400 is very reasonable for what they've done IME of paying for treatment . I assume that you are not in the U.K. as it's evening with you . Is the dog neutered if not she needs doing or she will be at high risk of pyometra and I assume the alone for 10-12 hrs is overnight as it's really not acceptable to leave a dog for that long during the day . Hope she continues to do well .

AlpacaLypse Thu 05-Oct-17 14:37:20

Just to say these lipoma (sp?) masses can spring up incredibly quickly from nowhere and are very scary. So pleased your ddog's turned out to be one of the benign ones.

averylongtimeago Thu 05-Oct-17 14:47:44

My MiL's spaniel had a mass like that, it too was benign. It got pretty big so the vet removed it when she was 10, and she lived an active life for another 3 years.
I have had dogs get cancer, and after the last girl (who died age 9) I too would not put them through agressive treatment. They just feel very very poorly and don't know why whereas a human does iyswim.

She's landed on her paws whatever happens. Fancy going off and not saying goodbye!shock

lborgia Fri 13-Oct-17 02:41:17

Just in case any of you come back, the dog biopsy came back clear, so she's fine and it is just a lipoma. So relieved. One of our guinea pigs had to be pts on Monday which was awful, but the dog is keeping the remaining pig company. .it's so sweet.


lborgia Fri 13-Oct-17 02:44:20

Here she is. ..

ToesInWater Fri 13-Oct-17 02:48:33

Glad to hear it is good news. She looks gorgeous, lucky her to have found such great new owners.

Feliciaxxx Fri 13-Oct-17 02:49:57

That's really good to know - I hope you have years of fun with her. She's gorgeous and a very lucky girl to have found a loving family to take her on and look after her x

RosieMapleLeaf Fri 13-Oct-17 02:56:51

OP, that is fantastic news about your dog!

And I would also like to thank you for taking in an older dog! She's a very lucky girl to have landed in your family where she will be clearly looked after well!

I am a volunteer at our local shelter, so sad some of the stories that dogs come in with. The most recent dog I adopted from there was dumped at the shelter at 12 years old - the family had had her since she was a puppy but the daughter had just gone off to university and the parents wanted to travel the world so they dumped the dog at the shelter. I have no idea how anyone could do that. She is a fantastic dog, no trouble at all, and still with us over a year later. She will be 14 in January!

I hope you have many years with your lovely pup. She looks a bit cheeky in that picture!

Pivoine Fri 13-Oct-17 03:01:06

Oh darlin. Hello beautiful.

MardAsSnails Fri 13-Oct-17 03:30:56

How could nobody want to say goodbye to that little sweetheart!

Fab news about the biopsy

KoalaD Fri 13-Oct-17 03:32:39

You are so lovely. As is the dog! 😍

yakari Fri 13-Oct-17 05:12:46

Self confessed Mad dog lady but she is gorgeous! We live abroad and the number of older dogs that get abandoned when kids go 'back home' to Uni, or families divorce or just people move on is heartbreaking. I try to give them the benefit of doubt that the dog gets lost in the chaos of major life changes but it's still heartbreaking.

FarmerGilesRockfordFiles Fri 13-Oct-17 08:10:37

Brilliant news, OP grin

She's lovely. I love that side-eye- it's kind of full of love but also saying "bugger off and let me sleep unless you have chicken then we might talk"

fourpawswhite Fri 13-Oct-17 08:10:42

Awwww she's absolutely gorgeous. So glad she's ok and very lucky to have you. Those eyes, just lovely.

lborgia Fri 13-Oct-17 10:36:35

Thanks lovelies, that look is actually her thinking "I cannot believe I'm allowed on here, but if I'm vewy,vewy quiet. .."

KoalaD Fri 13-Oct-17 10:37:59

grin She is the sweetest looking thing. If she'd been mine, I would be devastated to let her go and be wanting to visit all the time! sad

BillyDaveysDaughter Fri 13-Oct-17 10:50:40

I've got something in my eye.

Thank you for giving her a loving home to see out her days. It's all they deserve.

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