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Feel so guilty!

(30 Posts)
Beckypea Sun 07-May-17 22:04:25

So I have a one year old beagle. She is a lovely little lady and although it was a challenge in the begining we really couldn't imagine life without her now.

The problem is work. At the moment I'm home by 2 O'clock from work, so she is locked up for about 6 hours three days a week. She is amazing in the house on her own... We have a crate but have taken the door off it so she has the run of the kitchen and conservatory. When. I get home we usually then head out for a 2-3 hour walk as she has a lot of energy as you can imagine​.

So there have been a few changes in work and I am really really unhappy there. I have found myself a new job but it would mean my dog would be on her own 9-10 hours a day, 5 days a week. It's in the city so I would hit rush hour as its 9-5. If I didn't have her then I would 100% go for it. But I feel so guilty. Priced up a dog walker but it would work out at £200 a month which we can't really afford to lose. My boyfriend works 9-5 already so he's out and I have people who would 'pop in' to let her out the back but that would be as and when some days she would be all alone for those 10 hours.

Does anyone else work long hours? How does your dogs cope? What breed are they?
Thanks! It's so hard to decide what's the best thing to do.

Wolfiefan Sun 07-May-17 22:06:16

Even with a dog walker that's a very long time. Can you look at doggy daycare? I can't see an active beagle being left that long.

Beckypea Sun 07-May-17 22:08:45

Yes looked at day care as well.... That would work out more again. My mum has agreed to have her one day a week and I maybe able to afford two days daycare a week but then the other two she would be on her own for the day. Think I'm going to pass up the job and stay unhappy as I just feel so sad to leave her. We both said we never would have got a dog if we were both 9-5 but my shifts fitted really nice around her. But with the changes taking place my job may soon be gone. Then I could be put on different hours anyway.

Wolfiefan Sun 07-May-17 22:12:15

You would be daft to not get a dog IN CASE your hours ever changed!
Mum helping sounds good.
Any chance you could work at all or BF could or could change hours so one of you leaves home later and one comes home earlier?
I know some people use Borrow My Doggy but I would worry.
Any friend or neighbour who could help out once a week in return for a favour? You need a lonely older person who wants a friend for a few hours!!
Would be a shame to lose the job chance.

Beckypea Sun 07-May-17 22:17:01

I have my nan around the corner but she has a lot of energy so that's out. I grew up with Red setters and they were always home alone for full days but they were use to it from the start. It would be a change for her, and it's fine now to still go for our 2 hour walks after work but in the winter and the dark I couldn't let her off the lead for her runs as I won't be able to see her.

Wolfiefan Sun 07-May-17 22:53:01

You could hire a safe secure field for off lead fun.
Could you walk in the morning and evening and dog spends one day a week with nan? Thinking of ways to lessen the cost of daycare!

Costacoffeeplease Sun 07-May-17 23:10:03

You can't possibly take the job, you must know that?

Babyroobs Mon 08-May-17 02:03:07

It's way too long to leave a dog alone and if your days are so much longer you won't have time to walk her properly either. Gove the job a miss unless you can afford a dog walker.

BiteyShark Mon 08-May-17 05:54:49

I am out of the house for long hours three times a week. I use day care for half the day so he is only left either side for a few hours during which he sleeps.

He is picked up and dropped off from day care.

Also look to see if some dog walkers do day care as well as the specialised centres as prices do vary.

WifeyFish Mon 08-May-17 12:48:26

DP and I work standard hours, although I have an hour and a bit commute each way which makes it longer. DP works from home one day a week, and I have the option of going in early twice a week so I can leave early and miss the rush hour traffic. Pooch goes to doggy day care 2 half days a week, and stays with a friend the other 2 days as we just didn't think it was fair to leave him alone for hours on end.

In your shoes I would be cautious of turning down a job offer if you think it's likely you may be out of your current job soon. But I would definitely broach the subject of flexible working with the potential employers and get a plan in place for the dog before accepting.

Beckypea Mon 08-May-17 14:29:24

Hi, thanks for the advice all. I have contact a doggie day care who lives on the farm next to my mum... I'm thinking of doing two days a week there and my mum will have one day a week, so it's the other two days to cover.... Honestly I think one day a week 9\10 hours she would be ok, if it was a Monday as we would have a really active weekend and I know she is always glad to see us go Monday morning so she has her down time. She is good as gold on her own... Never makes a fuss, no barking or crying, she just chills out in the crate. I asked the people next door to always tell me if they here her in distress.

And as for 'not possibly taking the job'... Soon my job maybe gone and then I maybe on the same hours as that in a job I don't like and I can't afford to not work as I have a mortgage to pay.

Costacoffeeplease Mon 08-May-17 14:38:36

But you can't leave her for 9/10 hours without access to somewhere to pee!

TheDogsMother Mon 08-May-17 14:40:37

Take a look at Borrow My Doggy. There may be some people locally to you who have lost their own dog but dont feel ready to get another just yet. These types of people would probably love to have yours for a day or two per week. However chilled your dog is 9-10 hours is really too long.

olliegarchy99 Mon 08-May-17 15:34:32

is your garden secure - would one of these help at all ?
still feel that a 1 year old beagle (very active dog) is really not suitable for leaving that long even if you solve the problem of her getting out to wee.
hope you work something out that is good for you and the dog. sad

AnnieAnoniMouse Mon 08-May-17 15:48:05

I think you need to take the job. You hate your job & it's not secure anyway.

Would you mum take her for two half days instead? Same with the day care?

You'll work something out. You might even find another job with more flexible hours, but for now, take the one that's on offer.

Floweringjasmine Mon 08-May-17 15:54:13

It's really not fair to leave a dog for 9-10 hours in the day alone. I hope you get something sorted.

Floweringjasmine Mon 08-May-17 15:55:03

Please tell me that she wouldn't be in a crate for that long too? shock

Floweringjasmine Mon 08-May-17 15:56:31

I use a light up collar for off lead runs in the winter.

BiteyShark Mon 08-May-17 16:35:11

I can't hold my bladder for a long time so would hate to put my dog through that. We have a secure outside area my dog can use if he wants when he is left alone (as this is a short time he often doesn't bother but at least if caught short he can pee or poo).

If leaving for that length of time even for just one day it will be distressing for your dog to toilet inside so I would have a think on how you can ensure he can toilet during the day.

LosingDory Mon 08-May-17 16:38:46

You absolutely cannot leave a dog for that long that's bloody cruel. If you want the job and you can't work around it then you may have to face up to the reality that you can't keep the dog. Otherwise you'll have to pay for more day care

Wolfiefan Mon 08-May-17 16:39:46

She really won't be ok for 9-10 hours. She really won't. Even if she's shattered from the weekend she WILL need a wee.

SpringSpringSpring Mon 08-May-17 16:44:04

9-10 hours is a huge amount of time, try not weeing for that long and you'll see why. Dog-walkers often have a slightly cheaper rate if you use them regularly so might be worth asking around a bit more.

AnnieAnoniMouse Mon 08-May-17 17:05:54

floweringjasmine. Try reading instead of catastrophising

We have a crate but have taken the door off it so she has the run of the kitchen and conservatory

LosingDory Mon 08-May-17 20:00:22

It's not even just needing a wee. Dogs need human company and you'll be cutting down her walks, it's not much of a life for her is it?

Beckypea Mon 08-May-17 20:53:56

My mum can't really cope with her more than one day. She's a right stress head and my step dad has a habit of leaving doors open so she is scared to death of losing her... So if she has her she won't leave the house. My mum has two dogs who my dog gets on great with so they will have a good play. Light up collar seems a really good idea also for the winter evenings. She will also get her walks... Maybe two hours rather than three but I currently start work at 5am (OH doesn't leave the house till 8) and no matter how tired I am she always gets the walk she wants to have. So getting home at 5.30/6 will be no different there.

My dad has annoyed me a little as he just retired last month and I have always popped in after work to let his (also my old) family dog out and taken him over the park for a quick walk. He said he will do it as and when but not all the time as he is going to volunteer for a charity... Which is great don't get me wrong but what about his only child and my dog. Yes there is no door on the crate and at night she sleeps up with us as I didn't want her shut up in the day and night.

We had to leave her about 8-9 hours once or twice before... Once when I was on a first aid course for one day, and back last week when my nan was rushed to hospital. Ovb they were one's off, but she was really good.

It's something I am not taking lightly and I have priced up all options. Unfortunately the doggy day care I have been contacting is not responding as quickly as I would like them to.... Wanted to set up a meet before I decided anymore what to do.

Thanks AnnieAnoniMouse I may come to it that I won't have a choice but work the hours they give me in my current job while I look for something else and I'd rather do that in a job I would enjoy.

As I said before we never would have got a dog if we were both working 9-5 but we didn't see these job cuts coming and we have had her just over a year now. Could never give her up as she is family and it would break her heart to lose us to. Never want that for her. I have asked a number of family members pop over and they all said yeah but can't commit to a routine which is a pain on the arse.

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