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Please no judging but I'm seriously thinking of rehoming my dog as he's making life miserable

(63 Posts)
Lovemusic33 Tue 25-Apr-17 17:16:54

I have had my dog for 4 years, over the hat time I have posted on here quite a few times about his problems, been told to see behaviour specialists, been told to try different training techniques, been told to exercise him more, exercise him less, change his food etc...etc...

I have tried so hard, I have tried trying to solve one problem at a time but the problem just returns.

I can't have visitors to my house, he barks at everything, he jumps up at people, he knocks over children, he's hyperactive, no one wants to come to my house and I'm embarrassed when I have to invite people over. I have no control over him at all. He was trained as a pup and was well behaved until he hit 12 months old, I had him castrated which made no difference. If I try training with teats he just gets over excited, drawls everywhere, he's not interested in any other kind of reward (toys), anyone shows him the slightest bit of attention he goes hyper.

He whines all the time, wakes me up whining for breakfast, I have tried ignoring and holding back with his food but he will whine all day. If I stand up he jumps up, if I go to the kitchen he jumps up knocking things over on his way, if I brush my hair he whines (thinks he's going out), if I put my shoes on he goes crazy. The whining is driving me nuts.

He is a lab x collie and. Know he needs a lot of stimulation, he is walked twice a day, he runs with me when I go for a run, he has long walks off lead and sometimes we take a ball with us which he will retrieve 100 times, he has dog puzzles to keep his mind busy but again these send him hyper. I was told that he maybe over stimulated so for a time I cut his walks down but it made no difference, if anything he was worse.

He's fed a good quality dried dog food, we have tried various other diets but there was no change to his behaviour.

I am a single mum and it's effecting me and the kids, they can't have friends over because I can't risk him knocking them over and scratching them when he jumps up. He wakes us up in the night by barking at every little sound outside, no one wants to look after him when we go away and he's destroying the house by knocking things over when he's hyper.

He knows commands such as 'sit' and 'bed' but he does everything with such excitement, if I tell him to go to his bed the bed ends up flying across the room as he jumps onto it at such speed.

We have no dog classes near by and I am unable to take him anywhere by car. I can't afford any help from a behavioural specialist. I have followed advice from others, tried so many thing, it's taken up so much of my time and his behaviour is no better.

He's not my first dog, I have had 4 others and grew up with dogs, I have another dog who has he issues but nothing compared to him. I have never come across a dog like him, I'm not sure if it's nervous energy, he seems very on edge when I ask him to do anything but in a hyperactive way.

I know it sounds harsh but If someone offered him a nice home I would happily take them up on the offer and wouldn't feel sad to see him go at all sad. I don't know if anyone would want him, he requires a lot of work and I have tried so very hard with him, I feel he needs someone who knows what they are doing.

He is very loving and has never showed any aggression towards anyone or anything but he has scratched and bruised people by jumping up and being hyperactive.

picklemepopcorn Tue 25-Apr-17 17:19:50

There is a set of training videos online which have a lot about calming down over enthusiastic dogs. I'm trying to remember the name. Naughty but nice, maybe?

My dog has settled hugely between the ages of four and five. He has calmed down so much.

neonrainbow Tue 25-Apr-17 17:21:59

Sounds like he needs an outdoors lifestyle where he can just run and run.

ilovechoc1987 Tue 25-Apr-17 17:30:09

Don't feel bad if you want to rehome him.
You can opt into a blue cross scheme which will allow you to keep him home with you until they find good compatible new owners.
We adopted our dog through this scheme and we all met up with a blue cross worker for a walk. It meant they got to see if I was any good and it meant I got to know the dog before I made a decision.
Then we all went home and I waited for the call to say the dogs owners were happy to go ahead.

When I was growing up, we had a collie that we had to rehome because she kept escaping and my mum had 3 little ones and it got too much, she went to a lovely home with lots of land, and in the end she even became a hero, alerting the family to a fire in their home, which saved their life.
My Labrador that died last year was very hyper until he reached about 8 years old, then he calmed down.do what you have to do, it is totally possible to find the perfect home for him, and it won't be selfish or bad of you, just a sensible decision based on your families needs and also your dogs.

Best of luck and keep us updated.

Crazyvaperlady Tue 25-Apr-17 17:30:16

Take him to the vet and have some bloodwork done as a last ditch attempt... when I was growing up, a dog of 9urs very nearly got got, turns out he had a very overactive thyroid!

Itsagoodnightfromme Tue 25-Apr-17 17:40:34

When I read your first four paragraphs, I thought that's normal isn't it? Then I saw you have a border collie cross, the same as mine.

He is absolutely hyper, barks and jumps at everyone/thing and knocks people over. I find him really hard to manage and don't like taking him out on my own. I have always said he should live on a farm. He is not a house/family dog.

I have never had a dog before and didn't know that behaviour wasn't typical. No advice except he has slowed down in later years, when he got to about 12 or 13 grin.

Lovemusic33 Tue 25-Apr-17 17:41:25

He had his bloods checked last year and all was fine. I keep hoping he will calm down with age but at the moment he shows no signs of calming.

He would make a good farm dog, he doesn't run off as he loves to be around people, he's ok with other dogs and has been around farm animals (showed no aggression towards them), we live in the country side, we have a reasonable sized garden which he spends a lot of time in but it's just not enough for him.

I got him as a pup from a rescue but tbh I wasn't impressed by the people I got him from, I know I am meant to give him back to them if I don't want him but I don't want to send him back there. If I could find him a suitable home I could then get the rescue to do a home check so he can stay with me until a home is sorted? My other dog will miss him sad.

robinia Tue 25-Apr-17 17:45:55

Your home is not right for him but there will be another home that is.
I would get in touch with Blue Cross or Dogs Trust and reclaim your life.

ilovechoc1987 Tue 25-Apr-17 17:46:40

Maybe the best thing is to call the rescue centre you got him from and explain what you've told us to them, they may have the same service as the blue cross, and if not just suggest your idea. At the end of the day they will understand and people circumstances change all the time. You could always tell them you're moving abroad if you feel embarrassed.

oneoldmare Tue 25-Apr-17 17:47:50

I would say don't feel too bad about it.
It sounds like it's the best decision for your family and the dog and you have tried.
I am all for a dog is for life but when it comes at such a high price then there doesn't seem to be any point of wading through treacle when he could be happy elsewhere.
Find him a good home and try not to beat yourself up.
Sometimes no matter how much we want things to work out, sometimes they just won't.

oneoldmare Tue 25-Apr-17 17:47:52

I would say don't feel too bad about it.
It sounds like it's the best decision for your family and the dog and you have tried.
I am all for a dog is for life but when it comes at such a high price then there doesn't seem to be any point of wading through treacle when he could be happy elsewhere.
Find him a good home and try not to beat yourself up.
Sometimes no matter how much we want things to work out, sometimes they just won't.

Silverdream Tue 25-Apr-17 17:52:06

I think you would be helping him and you if you got him rehomed. Don't feel bad. He needs an outdoor working life.
Re homing him will help him get the environment he needs.
Don't just think you're doing it for your family. You are doing it for him as well.
Sometimes it doesn't matter how good the owner is if the environment is wrong it won't work.

It is also important that your children have a happy childhood. Walks, friends over and fun in the garden. The time your dog is elderly and calmed down their childhood days will be over.

You sound really caring but having done all humanly possible in this situation.

Lovemusic33 Tue 25-Apr-17 17:53:50

Thank you, your all being so kind, I expected the 'why did you get him?' And 'a dog is for life' posts. I do feel very guilty but I also feel guilty for not meeting his needs. I'm worried that because he is a black cross breed that no one will want him.

I have contacted the rescue several times in the past and they haven't been any help. I think it's best that I try and find him somewhere and then I tell the rescue that he's going somewhere more suitable.

DearMrDilkington Tue 25-Apr-17 18:03:23

I usually give people a bollocking when they want to rehome a pet, but you sound like you've really tried your best with him.

I'd find him a new home, one that has lots of land for him to run around on and with people who are experienced with excitable dogs.

Best of luck.

CornflakeHomunculus Tue 25-Apr-17 18:44:32

If you can no longer cope with your dog then it's doing neither of you any good to keep on slogging away for the sake of it if there's potential for a more appropriate home to be found for him.

If you're not keen on approaching the rescue he came from then I'd look into either small, independent rescues near you or the nearest branch of the Dogs Trust. The former are often foster based rather than using kennels and he may be able to either go straight into one of their foster homes or remain with you until a suitable home (whether permanent or foster) comes up. The Dogs Trust, although kennel based, tend to be pretty good at getting behaviourists in to deal with any issues the dogs have. I would imagine they will probably have waiting lists to get dogs in though.

In the meantime, if you haven't already, I'd focus as much as you can on teaching him to switch off. This isn't something that comes naturally to all dogs but it can be taught.

Kikopup on YouTube has an excellent series of videos called Capturing Calmness which are excellent for this. I'd also recommend reading this article, plus the linked pamphlet. There's also a very good (and free) ebook called 'Calm Down!: Step-by-Step to a Calm, Relaxed and Brilliant Family Dog' which is also well worth reading.

Lovemusic33 Tue 25-Apr-17 19:14:43

Thank you.
The only time he switches off is the evenings after he has eaten, he will have a crazy half an hour and will then settle down for the evening. If anyone was to come to the house in the evening he would switch to hyper again. He's only just settled now sad.

Pippin8 Tue 25-Apr-17 19:39:10

Try a collie breed specific rescue. I know he's a cross, but he sounds more collie.
I got my spaniel from a breed specific rescue & they regularly have dogs like yours in. These dogs always go into foster & are thoroughly assessed. The more high needs dogs almost always go to farms or working homes.

Veterinari Tue 25-Apr-17 21:41:57

You say that you've been given a lot of advice, but how much of it have you followed through? It sounds as if you give him lots of exercise and stimulation, but haven't ever reinforced calm quiet behaviour?
Did you see a behaviourist (APBC) as advised? What was the training programme you were given and did you implement it?

Lovemusic33 Wed 26-Apr-17 07:51:21

I have reinforced calm behaviour, seriously I have tried so much with him. My other dog is so calm and chilled out, he drives her nuts as he's always bouncing around and knocking into her.

I'm going to try a different food (yet again) as both dogs have terrible wind at the moment. Can anyone recommend a good food? Please don't recommend a raw diet as I don't have a freezer and I have an autistic child that mouths everything (don't want raw meet around).

BiteyShark Wed 26-Apr-17 07:58:13

Have you looked on allaboutdogfood.co.uk to get a good quality food. I use millies Wolfheart which has a good variety of food for different energy needs.

BlueKarou Wed 26-Apr-17 11:01:01

It sounds like you're closer to the 'I need to rehome' end of the spectrum than the 'my dog's driving me mad, what can I do next', in which case there's not much to be said here other than that it's a hard decision, and ultimately you have to do what's best for you and your family (including the dog).

It sounds to me, and I'm no expert, so could be wrong, that your dog probably needs more to do, but in a structured environment. Obedience classes - not that he's disobedient, but because it would give him something to make him think. Agility classes, maybe, or flyball, anything to make him use that collie brain and that lab desire to please (and get a reward). That breed mix sounds like it could be very rewarding, but with a lot of work.

Also, as a couple of PP have said, finding a way to reinforce calm behaviour will help. I don't know much on that front, so will defer to their better recommendations.

Food-wise, my two are on Harringtons. It's not the best, but more the best of the middle. It was the only thing my lurcher could stomach without horrible poos.

justwait Wed 26-Apr-17 11:05:08

Wellbeloved is good. One of my dogs is fussy so I soak it in a bit of hot water

JoffreyBaratheon Wed 26-Apr-17 12:00:26

We always fed our dogs raw food diet, no commercial food whatsoever - but this one we have no refuses to eat raw meat. So we ended up buying all the same stuff we used to - but microwaving it. So you can feed your dog non commercial food - it doesn't have to be raw. My dog is a cross of two lively breeds of terrier and although she can be excitable, that's at exciting times like walks etc. In the house, she sleeps a lot. The jumping up at people is something you CAN fix with training. If one method has failed you, try another. I love the dog training videos on YouTube by the Dogs Trust. They might be worth checking out.

It's partly about training the dog but more about training people who visit. Usually it's people's over-reactions that cause it. You have to explain to visitors to ignore the dog and not reinforce anything they are doing.

Problem here is there is no regulation of breeders. Those are two active, working dog breeds either one of which, you could argue, is not suitable as a family pet. With a cross, you're getting it double. This would never be an easy dog to have, I suspect. Unless you live on a farm or spend your weekends roaming the country shooting pheasants... (Sorry but I come from a farming family and have seen so many bored/destructive/badly behaved labs and collies round here - the thought of them being deliberately crossed actually confuses me).

I'd try and find a breed rescue if at all possible, from either breed, as maybe their clientele will be less affected by Black Dog Syndrome..? Although I know some breed rescues find crosses harder to rehome.

This kind of thing is more about educating people in the first place what kind of dog might suit their lifestyle and legislating to control feckless breeders. The latter is never going to happen.

Wolfiefan Wed 26-Apr-17 12:07:55

He sounds like he needs a job to keep him active. Have you tried agility or flyball or such?
You say he was trained as a pup. If you mean puppy training classes then that's only meant as a starting point. Training should be ongoing.
Sounds like you have an awful lot on your plate and have tried lots of things OP.
for now I would have him on a longline near other people and reward with treats when calm. Maybe try adaptil too.
Can you join dog training advice and support on FB? Free advice from behaviour specialists. You could even post a video for help.

Veterinari Wed 26-Apr-17 12:32:35

Rather than randomly changing food/exercise/enrichment/watching internet videos - Have you actually had advice from a suitably qualified behaviourist? what were their recommendations?

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