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When does it stop hurting...my boy was PTS

(56 Posts)
Vegansnake Mon 13-Mar-17 18:49:38

I held my dog in my arms on Saturday morning when he was put to sleep...he was part of the family and we had him nearly 10 yrs..I'm not a soppy type of person...but this has hit me badly..the rest of the family are carrying on with their lives,but I feel this massive ache inside ,and everywhere I look I see dogs.ive burst in to tears 6 times today..nothing feels right in the house.im shocked at how badly I'm taking this..when does it stop

BiteyShark Mon 13-Mar-17 18:57:02

I am so sorry. I can't imagine being without my dog and he is only 5 1/2 months so I can completely understand after 10 years of loving him that you would be distraught to lose a member of your family flowers

Vegansnake Mon 13-Mar-17 19:01:40

Yep that's how it feels..my friend lost a relative on the same day and I feel bad that I'm feeling like this and obviously it's so much worse for her...,and friends have said the whole I'm sorry thing and I feel I need to shut up and get on with life..when his life has ended.

Wolfiefan Mon 13-Mar-17 19:03:49

I'm so sorry for your loss. Mine isn't 6 months yet but I already know she will break my heart. They worm their way into your hearts and souls. One day you will think of the good times and smile. Know that he was lucky to have you. I'm a soppy sod and find this helps.

Vegansnake Mon 13-Mar-17 19:05:57

Thankyou Wolfe x

BiteyShark Mon 13-Mar-17 19:07:14

The thing is you are your dogs world. They idolise you and look to you for everything, love, food, company and you spend most of your waking moments giving it to them so is it any surprise when they go that you are left with a big hole.

Try not to compare your grief with your friends as yes that are different but equally they are just as real and individual to both of you.

Vegansnake Mon 13-Mar-17 19:13:43

Thanks sharkx

PrisonerofBrenda Mon 13-Mar-17 19:16:20

Vegan, firstly I want to say how very sorry I am for your loss. I happen to feel that the bond between a human and a dog ( or any other animal companion ) is every bit as strong and valid as that between humans.
I've had dogs all of my life and each one has been unique and has given so much . The bond has been intense.
You have loved your dog, and you are grieving his loss. Your feelings are valid and perfectly natural. There aren't any rules about grief and it is a journey to be travelled through. I hope you can feel a bit of comfort knowing that you cared for him, and did the real right thing for him when he most needed you to be strong and to put him first.

As with all losses, the pain will lessen and be lightened by the joyous memories of your time together. He will live in your heart.

Be kind to yourself. My heart goes out to you.

BestIsWest Mon 13-Mar-17 19:19:24

I cried yesterday and we lost our boy two years ago in August. You loved him. It's normal but time will help. So sorry.

Orangebird69 Mon 13-Mar-17 19:20:40

Honestly? One of my cats was pts 10 years ago and it still hurts. flowers

Vegansnake Mon 13-Mar-17 19:22:54

Brenda,I remember bringing him home as a puppy,wrapped in a blanket,feeling the same as when I brought my children home from hospital that first time..it has just been like having an extra child..my youngest child is already on at me,when are we getting another dog...I'm shocked at how fickle he is,I could never go through that pain again,of holding him while he dies..

SavoyCabbage Mon 13-Mar-17 19:24:51

He sounds like he was very loved.
flowers

Wolfiefan Mon 13-Mar-17 19:25:11

They are like your babies. I co slept with mine for 3 weeks. I even have a baby monitor so I can get up in the night if she's unwell or needs a wee! (And no I didn't gave one for my actual human children!)
Dogs give such joy and unconditional love. Of course you miss him OP. Be kind to yourself. flowers

Vegansnake Mon 13-Mar-17 19:26:06

10 yrs bird,ok so this is going to always hurt then..and west 2 yrs ago,I'm so sorry for both yr losses...did you find friends got fed up with you going over "why" all the time? Or is it just me doing this?

Vegansnake Mon 13-Mar-17 19:27:26

Thanks cabbage,and Wolfe x

MrsMozart Mon 13-Mar-17 19:32:16

I'm so sorry.

It does stop, or at least becomes bearable, over time, but there's no saying how long it takes.

BestIsWest Mon 13-Mar-17 19:33:30

We lasted 3 months before getting another dog. Not everyone will feel the same way but the joy and love they bring helps you forget the pain.

BestIsWest Mon 13-Mar-17 19:34:51

It will always hurt and I will always miss him but the pain is less immediate now and the puppy has helped enormously.

Vegansnake Mon 13-Mar-17 19:39:49

Thanks Mozart.bestiswest,I've said at the least a year,but literally just to get him to stop going on at me..really I can't see us ever having another,those last few days of knowing he was near the end ,and then making the phone all to vets were awful..I cannot go through that again..I think we will have to stay petless.

CornflakeHomunculus Mon 13-Mar-17 20:25:54

I'm so sorry Vegan flowers

We lost our beloved DDog1 over three years ago now and I still have a good cry over him now and then. In between those times though I think about him and smile or laugh. I remember the good times and am very grateful we had him in our lives.

It does get easier. You may decide eventually that you want another dog, you may not. Either is fine and you shouldn't feel guilty whatever you decide.

Vegansnake Mon 13-Mar-17 20:32:55

Thanks cornflake,and I'm sorry about yr dog i suppose like anything it gets easier with time..

UnbornMortificado Mon 13-Mar-17 20:34:40

Oh vegan grief isn't comparable. I lost a close relative and my old boy soon after, it's the two year anniversary this week and I've cried buckets for both of them.

They break your heart.

Vegansnake Mon 13-Mar-17 20:36:33

I don't think I appreciated what an easy going dog he was ,or how we never saw a single ounce of aggression from him.even when the front door was open one day and this huge dog ran in our house and in to the garden,I was screaming at the owners to grab it and get out,he didn't bother ,took it all in his stride..

honeyroar Mon 13-Mar-17 20:38:15

I know it's new and raw to you, so too early to consider, so I hope this doesn't offend you. I think as every dog, or pet, dies a little bit of your heart goes with them. But equally a new dog or pet arriving gives you their heart, and you grow to love them too, and realise you're not replacing, you're loving a different pet. Until your heart is made up of a patchwork quilt of pet hearts. And a new pet distracts you from the pain you experienced. I've loads of dogs, cats and horses in my memories and in my heart, all of them broke my heart when they died, but all of them gave something special to my life, at different times.

But yes, the worst thing about pets is that they don't live long enough, and we all have to go through the pain of losing them. However the love and joy they give balances and even outweighs that.

Vegansnake Mon 13-Mar-17 20:40:03

I feel bad feeling like this,she lost a relative ,but I can't move on,I feel I need answers from the vets,I still think he had alamba rot,and people need to know ,this can happen if you walk yr dog in woodland..dead 2 weeks after an infected paw ,with destroyed kidneys.

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