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People who work full time getting a puppy

(52 Posts)
BurningBridges Thu 05-Jan-17 22:42:29

Friend works full time and has just bought a puppy without telling anyone - I think he knew what we would say. Can't believe the family have been so selfish, they reckon they can leave the dog (12 weeks) from day 1 for 4+ hours each day.

But when I googled I could find very little to say that its wrong to do this - nothing "official" that I could refer him to, and he's saying lots of people do it why shouldn't he etc.

I'm finding it hard to face him, knowing what he is planning - to me its an awful thing to do, but am I over-reacting?

tinymeteor Thu 05-Jan-17 22:50:43

Others may be able to point you towards a good source of official advice, but I suspect he'll get the picture when house training is a disaster and the dog destroys his place while he's out.

Poor pup. 12 weeks is way too young to be alone that long, with no proper build up to it. Pretty much guaranteed separation anxiety.

TrionicLettuce Fri 06-Jan-17 00:16:30

Is the PDSA "official" enough do you think? This page might be worth passing on. The same goes for the 'Do You Have Time For a Dog?' factsheet on this page from the Dogs Trust.

This is a very good guide to toilet training a puppy and gives a very realistic picture of just how relentless it is when they're young.

At twelve weeks old a puppy is still going to need to be taken outside on a very regular basis, much more frequently than every four hours. Leaving them alone that long will force them to just go in the house which will inevitably end up prolonging training.

Puppies of that age need plenty of stimulation as well. As unstimulated puppy quickly becomes a bored puppy who will find their own entertainment. Even when they're not bored and have plenty of toys/chews puppies are apt to gnaw on things, it's how they explore the world when they're small. Take your eyes off a puppy for 30 seconds and they can put a surprisingly sizeable dent in your skirting board/furniture........

Teaching a puppy to be left needs to be done gradually or there's a very real risk they will develop separation anxiety. Although this guide is specifically about crate training it applies just the same to teaching a pup to be left anywhere. Bringing a puppy home then immediately leaving it for several hours is highly unlikely to result in a dog that is happy to be alone.

BurningBridges Fri 06-Jan-17 09:22:45

Thank you Trionic I will look into those. But the other thing I wanted to get out of posting was a view on my attitude - am I just over-involved? I know its cruel but there is much worse cruelty everywhere.

GinIsIn Fri 06-Jan-17 09:26:11

It's absolutely awful, and if any of my friends did this it would seriously affect our friendship - I don't think I can be friends with anyone that cruel to animals.

Wetcappuccino Fri 06-Jan-17 09:35:43

I agree with you OP. It is exactly these types of situations where the poor dog ends up in rescue (if they're lucky) within the year when the realities of having a dog do not match up to expectations. Hopefully I am wrong. I don't see anything wrong with you highlighting possible issues they may not have considered - I don't think it is an overreaction.

GahBuggerit Fri 06-Jan-17 09:36:38

i think your reactin is quite strong. and what would be acheived if you pointed out some advice and the friend agrees? pup then gets passed on, so two homes already in such a short time.

its not ideal but it can work. we worked ft when we got our dog and she was left for up to 5 hours often, now circumstances have changed and some days she goes a coupke of hours, sometimes 8. shes never had any issues with anxiety and is the best dog ever. it can work

neonrainbow Fri 06-Jan-17 09:39:56

Its not ideal but its really none of your business.

Treaclex Fri 06-Jan-17 09:44:20

Hmm a relative is picking up their puppy tomorrow and I feel the same as op I think it's incredibly selfish to only half commit when getting a puppy and holidays could've been used as a settling in period instead a crate has been bought sad not only that but this puppy will grow into a massive dog that I do not want my children around as I already feel it's going to be neglected

RubyWinterstorm Fri 06-Jan-17 09:45:20

I have friends who did this,

the dog is fine

He gets walked every day by a dog walker, and seems to be fine about being left from 8-4 (taken out for walk at 11)

It's worked for them, so not the end of the world. Not ideal, but yes it can work.

KanyeWesticle Fri 06-Jan-17 09:46:04

Can you offer to help? Pop in on the dog if he needs it?

Sounds like this friend isn't going to listen to advice.

ghostwatch Fri 06-Jan-17 09:51:49

4+ hours ? That's nothing ? Puppies can be crate trained early on and feel secure like this. There is zero wrong that?

AgainPlease Fri 06-Jan-17 10:02:38

I'm with you on this OP. I find it so upsetting when people get a puppy but have no time for it.

The only happy solution I can find is as PP said the dog has a dog walker who can take it out during the day to stimulate and socialise the pup as well as getting some exercise and learning good behaviour from older dogs. Another option is doggy daycare but that can be expensive if it is every day.

We got a puppy (he's 2 now) only on the basis that I was at home. I couldn't believe how much work a puppy was (!!!) and couldn't imagine leaving him on his own for hours on end. Even now if I know no one will be at home for more than 4 hours he goes to doggy daycare for the day.

So upset with these people! Poor little dog!

BurningBridges Fri 06-Jan-17 10:52:56

So there are mixed feelings on here and in a way I find it reassuring that some posters agree with me, and some feel that my friend has done nothing wrong - good to see that both "sides" are valid.

I don't want to offer to help as I feel that may have been assumed in advance, without asking me, and I don't feel I should support this thoughtless decision but you can bet your life I get asked. Kanye you're right, they won't listen to/receive any advice unless it supports their original plan - and as gah says, what would be achieved if they give the dog away now.

But I feel the same way as Fenella - it has seriously affected our friendship. Maybe I just need to say ok, well we are not going to be close pals in future and that's as far as it goes.

Costacoffeeplease Fri 06-Jan-17 10:57:39

I'd be really annoyed and wouldn't be able to hide it - what a twat, and poor pup

LilCamper Fri 06-Jan-17 11:00:12

Dogs Trust recommends an adult dog should not be left any longer than 4 hours.

Puppies need round the clock attention for the first few weeks.

LilCamper Fri 06-Jan-17 11:01:34

Beating Boredom

JoffreyBaratheon Fri 06-Jan-17 11:57:45

I knew someone who did that and when a mutual acquaintance told me they were about to get a puppy, both working full time, I was rather outspoken about it and used the word "Cruel". (I think they were in another room when I said it but it probably got back to them). My dog has only ever been left alone once - when the kids had an orthodontist's appointment and I really couldn't work it so someone else was in the house. I rushed back and she was probably alone for maybe 3 hours. Since we have managed to work it so she is never alone.

Neighbours' dog is left alone (locked in a cage in their kitchen with a concrete floor so an echo chamber) for many hours most days. They're unemployed so there is no excuse. They go out and stay out for hours. I have heard it barking all day today. Heard it all day yesterday.

I wonder if they kid themselves it is happy?

We contacted the Dog Warden but he took a fortnight to come out and only came out when it was a school holiday - when they were staying in all day. Sods Law.

Floralnomad Fri 06-Jan-17 12:16:44

Sadly this is the type of dog that is going to be left in a crate for most of the day and then probably back in the crate overnight , it makes me very cross when dogs are treated in this manner . Btw how is your pup getting on burning ?

BurningBridges Fri 06-Jan-17 13:45:27

He's doing fab Floral really pleased with him. Very full on though, glad DH is home too! He's almost fully housetrained now, only the odd wee although he did leave us a little gift under the TV this morning!! He's not the deep thinker my previous dog was, but he is gorgeous and cheeky.

I suppose that makes my attitude to my friend even more odd - I have my own dog to be getting on with.

BurningBridges Fri 06-Jan-17 13:49:05

Joffrey ^"I wonder if they kid themselves it is happy?^" - probably.

LouiseBrooks Fri 06-Jan-17 13:57:38

Joffrey I'd report them again - now in fact, so that even if it takes a fortnight it won't be school holidays when they come round, and phone the RSPCA not the Dog Warden.

OP it would totally affect my friendship with them. They are selfish and thoughtless . If it's destructive and pees etc all over the place, they will no doubt blame the poor dog instead of themselves. A new puppy needs acclimatising to its new routine and then even when it's older it should still have a dog walker once or twice a day.

The other issue is, what sort of dog? Some breeds get bored far more easily than others and are therefore more prone to be destructive.

LadyWhoLikesLunch Fri 06-Jan-17 15:13:43

What sort of dog is it? I'm not saying I advocate but there are certain breeds of dogs who would be fine with this, obviously not at 12 weeks but in the future, provide arrangements were in place for someone to go in midway through the day to walk the dog.

For example we have a German Shepherd who was perfectly happy being in the house from about 8.30 when my dad went to work till 4ish when my brothers got in from school with a quick toilet break when my dad came home for Lunch. In fact he was pretty annoyed during the summer holidays as they disturbed is life of leisure snoozing on the couch or wandering up stairs for a nap on the big bed.

BurningBridges Fri 06-Jan-17 18:14:55

its a small breed, its the age ad complete lack of effort/preparation and ignorance I have an issue with - if it was an adult dog, I probably wouldn't have posted.

Wolfiefan Fri 06-Jan-17 18:18:20

Friend is a fuckwit.
I have a 15 week old pup. I can only leave her when she's sleeping or she gets so upset she tries to eat her bed, gets very vocal and wets herself. Only tried that once. To have a shower!
I'm working on it but it will take weeks or maybe months before she's happy to be left that long.
And I'm guessing this is a puppy farmed dog?! No decent breeder or rescue would sanction this. angry

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