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Wobbles before puppy pick up

(42 Posts)
ChangeYouFucker Tue 25-Oct-16 16:51:26

Due to pick up puppy next week.

I am now having massive doubts. My main concerns are:
Being tied down to the dog, for example having to get back for the dog.
Worried about the days I work (only 2). I have already looked into a dog sitter/walker but still feel it's too long to leave a dog. But I know so many people who have a dog and work, what do they do????
Worried about making sure the dog is well trained, as I have always said I want my dog to be well trained. But realise it takes time and I a, worried how much time it will actually take. I have signed up for classes and can do a 1-2-1 session beforehand if I want. But still am worried.

Also I know this is crazy but I feel really bad taking puppy from its mum and siblings!

Are these just normal worries or should I listen to my gut and tell the breeder that we will forfeit the deposit and let her go to someone better suited?

I have wanted a dog since I can't remember, literally all my life. But now it's come to it I am so worried about not doing it justice that I am convincing myself out of it!

Costacoffeeplease Tue 25-Oct-16 16:58:52

Are you taking any time off, or going straight back to work? I wouldn't be leaving a very young pup all day with just someone popping in, even if it's only two days a week. Puppies need you there virtually constantly for weeks, possibly months. You need to get the toilet training started asap, and be consistent about it

Does the breeder know you work?

Costacoffeeplease Tue 25-Oct-16 17:00:11

I think it's normal to have doubts, but if your situation isn't conducive to having a pup, then back out now before you end up frustrated with the pup, and she's older and less easy to re-home

Floralnomad Tue 25-Oct-16 17:01:38

What do you plan to do with the dog on the days when you work ?

wowwee123 Tue 25-Oct-16 17:02:20

we got our pup when i was on maternity so left it for half hour a day at first in great then gradually built up over 4 months.

he is now left 8.30 - 4. sometimes longer. with someone popping in on him midday. he's only a small dog so we walk him before work and he's happy.

training is a nightmare though. he is 18 months now and although house trained he still pees om the carpet when he feels like it.

he's becoming snappy witj people trying to pet him so something else we have to worry about.

we have treat ours like a baby and made a rod for our own back. i love him and wouldn't be without him but i didn't realise how hard work he would be.

Wolfiefan Tue 25-Oct-16 17:07:46

Sounds like a new parent worrying whether they will be good enough for their baby! Natural if you want to do a decent job of it I think.
I agree with others that if you have sorted a settling in time and aren't going to leave it for hours whilst you work then it's probably just PFP (precious first pup) nerves!

ChangeYouFucker Tue 25-Oct-16 17:11:22

To clarify (should have done this at first). I can work quiet a lot from home and on one of the days I work grandparents are here all day. So it wouldn't be left for a whole 2 days by itself. But I worry about what you have said Costa - everything suggests that it shouldn't be left at all for months. What do people do? Just be irresponsible and leave them alone from the start? Is this why people have so many issues? I've read your comments on other threads and think I need you to give me a virtual shake and say 'stupid idea'. I promise the dogs welfare is really important to me <animal loving softy>.

Woweee - you see that's my worry that if its not trained and socialised well we will have problems. Last week we went to a friends house who have a dog and it jumped up at my DD and scratched her face really badly. I just don't want that kind of thing happening.

Costacoffeeplease Tue 25-Oct-16 17:41:21

Are the grandparents going to be as committed to toilet training, playing, socialising, general training, as you would be if you were there? What about the other day?

You have to put the work in, from the first day, if you want a well-behaved, trained, obedient, well-socialised dog in 18-24 months time. You have to be patient, consistent, prepared to stand outside in all weathers repeating 'wee wee in the garden, good girl' in encouraging tones for possibly 20-30 mins every hour or two. Consistent with bite inhibition training, every time. Doing 10-15 mins of sit, down, stay every few hours but also making it fun for the pup. I'm not sure that having 3 or more people in that role (unless they're very experienced dog/puppy owners) is going to be a great idea

I work from home and have mobility issues so I'm here 90% of the time. I don't leave them at all for several weeks, then start with half an hour, and build it up from there, but the maximum I will leave the dogs, even as adults, is 4-5 hours a day, and I live in the Algarve and they have access to the garden when we're out

Puppies are hard, hard work. They are cute for 5 minutes, then little bitey, jumpy, pee and poo terrors for up to 18 months depending on the breed. I've had dogs all my life (parents had a dog before us kids) and I've raised lots of pups, and taken on adult rescues, and every time I forget just how hard puppies are (and I recently had 3 within 6 years, so no long 12-year spells between pups)

Has the breeder not discussed all this with you?

Hoppinggreen Tue 25-Oct-16 18:21:53

I had a major wobble before collecting our puppy - I honestly wish I had listened to myself!!
I love my dog but if I could turn back time we would be dogless.

TatteredOwl Tue 25-Oct-16 18:34:14

Don't do it. Listen to your gut instinct

They make your house smell and they follow you around constantly. You're always thinking about getting back for the dog and of course there's no long lie ins with a puppy. They're just relentless

It's the reason why I choose to look after other people's dogs on a semi regular basis in my own home and not own one myself. I love them but I don't want the tie these days

Mrsladybirdface Tue 25-Oct-16 18:57:18

Well we are 3 months in with a puppy and adore her. ..I think we've been lucky as she is quite chilled (still has her puppy moments) she has enriched our lives as a family... I work a 5 hour day but have a dog walker come in every day and she has an hour walk with her (is actually with the dog walker for about an hour and a half). The dog walker has been a godsend and means she is well socialised and she does training with her too.

I think because we have a routine, pup hasn't suffered separation anxiety and is always happy to see us when we get back. Though the teenage years may change this.

The only downside is poo pick up!

ChangeYouFucker Tue 25-Oct-16 19:13:07


Costa - you are obviously very knowledgeable about dogs (if not slightly scary in MN way!). Also I think you perhaps have too much faith in the majority of breeders (and please don't give me a lecture about getting a dog from a responsible breeder- I really did try).

But it's other people's views stating that I should listen to my gut that is actually persuading me. I am going to have to let the breader down unfortunately.

I find it interesting that so many people I know have dogs and also work. I don't think they took time off when the puppy came. How do people do it? Basically I can't see me having a dog till I'm retired. And I don't think I'll want a puppy then but will be able to get a rescue I guess.

Thanks for advice.

ChangeYouFucker Tue 25-Oct-16 19:17:28

Oh and just one more point.

Costa - at no point did I minimise the work required in puppy training, i was not going into that side of it blind. In fact quiet the opposite, because I know what is required
I lost faith in doing it.

Sorry like I said you are clearly very knowledgeable but with a hint of lecturing in your tone.

Costacoffeeplease Tue 25-Oct-16 19:23:35

I probably am quite lecturing and scary - but I'm fine with that, shrug. So many people come on here saying 'I've done all my research but I'm at the end of my tether with my 15/20 week old puppy' and that makes me really angry

Much better to have doubts and act on them than regret it in a few weeks time, so you get kudos from on that score

Costacoffeeplease Tue 25-Oct-16 19:23:46

From me!!

Costacoffeeplease Tue 25-Oct-16 19:25:47

Tbh, if I went to a breeder and they didn't labour these points with me, and cross question me on my plans for how I was going to deal with the early weeks and months - I'd walk away

daisy5569 Tue 25-Oct-16 19:38:43

I have a 10 month old puppy or should I say adolescent! When I lost my last dog I wasn't having any more but did miss having a dog around. I had big wobbles when I got my pup at 9 weeks wasn't quite prepared for how much hard work a puppy is. But toilet training was fine, he's a good boy and got the hang of it quickly. He went to training classes (was the class clown) didn't learn much but met lots of other dogs which was great for his socialisation. Now I cannot imagine him not being here, I do have to arrange things around him and am lucky I can work at home. He gets me out walking and you meet so many people whilst out with a dog, and as a bonus I've lost 8 pounds due to walking! It is hard work but in my opinion it's worth it smile

wowwee123 Tue 25-Oct-16 20:08:54

what kind of pup is it? did you say you worked at home the two days you do work?

what kind of set up do you have in your house? is there a room you could happily leave puppy in for long periods of time?

tbh our life would probs be a lot easier if we had as our downstairs is completely open plan.

have you thought about what you would do at holiday periods etc?

they ar very tying. we are away at the weekend and im actually looking forward to a break where we dont have to take the dog.

as i say though, we babied ours so i cant face leaving him for long. it wouldnt feel right. he's not really a kennel dog either so we rely on family.

it's a tough one. if you're prepared for the hard times and not bothered about being tied it's a great decision.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints Tue 25-Oct-16 20:10:18

I'm exactly the same atm & we already have a dog! I've been preparing for a 2nd dog for over a year. I know in reality I'm worrying over nothing & yet I'm still worrying! We've got 3 sleeps 'til she comes home & excitement is only just starting to creep in.

Blackfellpony Tue 25-Oct-16 20:18:49

I love having a dog but they are like extra children, I do worry about leaving them and have to make sure I am back.
We haven't had a holiday in years as nobody will watch them and they won't kennel sad

I do adore mine and it's worth the sacrifice but my lifestyle has changed since they came.

wineusuallyhelps Tue 25-Oct-16 20:24:54

OP I can't tell you what to do as only you know what is best. Here's my experience.

Our puppy is nearly 10 months old and it is one of the best decisions we ever made. He has completed our family. We'd never had a dog before.

Toilet training was not an issue as his breeder had already got him into good habits and we were vigilant about taking him outside a lot at first, so he could make a success of it.

Quite early on (I'm talking 9-10 weeks old) we began to leave him in his crate for short periods of time. I can't remember exactly how long it took, but over the course of a good few weeks we built it up. We can now leave him for 4.5 hours. That is my personal maximum that I feel happy with for him, as I know my dog and I know he is fine (sometimes I have videoed him on an iPad!).

He loves his crate and went in it voluntarily from day 1. It's his cosy space where he goes for naps. It makes me laugh how he runs in there when he knows it's time for us to go out! It also keeps him safe from electrical wires etc and getting into mischief!

He is now stronger than me so I am still spending the time and money on dog training classes at least once per week. Yes, we do need to continually put effort in on his training on a daily basis. It's an ongoing thing, just like bringing children up. Perhaps a smaller dog is easier to manage, but we wanted a big one.

Hope this helps.

Sugarpiehoneyeye Tue 25-Oct-16 20:32:56

Hi OP, you know the old saying, "If in doubt, don't", this is one situation, whereby it applies.
Please do not try to talk yourself into this, we're talking about a life!
You sound wised up, wait until you feel really comfortable with the prospect of a whirlwind, akin to a baby, living in your home.
They really are hard work. They need a routine, they need feeding every four hours, toilet training, they chew, they nip.
They can scream and howl, like a banshee, if they are lonely, they can also become destructive.
I'm sure that you are already aware of this, but don't underestimate the havoc, they can cause.
By the way, I do speak from experience, working for a large charity.

Sparklywine Wed 26-Oct-16 08:20:44

Hi Op, not got much time to post but wanted to say we have a 20 week old puppy and she is a joy. We had four weeks off with her to get her settled in, now she goes to a lovely doggy day care on the three days I work. She pulls on the lead to get in there and seems to love it, there are regular Facebook photos and videos of her playing with the other dogs, rolling around in the leaves. It's in countryside so a lot of outdoor activity and walks. I was worried she was a bit young but she has really taken to it and loves other dogs. Could this be an option when you're not in the house? To be honest I wouldn't trust my parents to follow the same training routines as me, and they didn't offer anyway!

We didn't have any wobbles in getting her, if I'd been worried I trust I would have not gone through with it. Right, got to go, good luck but it's not all doom and gloom, puppies are hard work but only in expected ways if you've done your research, which it looks like you have.

Sugarpiehoneyeye Wed 26-Oct-16 12:02:59

Sparklywine, it certainly isn't all doom and gloom, puppies are an absolute joy, if you are ready for them ! 😄
Also, a good Doggy Day Care Centre, is worth it's weight in gold.
A fabulous chance to socialise a young pup, in a well managed environment. They really do seem to love going, a bit like a nursery.
Give Sparkly pup a belly rub, from me. 🐶

StandardPoodle Wed 26-Oct-16 16:44:22

I'd be wary of having a puppy if I worked 2 (or even 1) days a week. Fair play though for thinking about it now rather than buying a cute puppy without fully going into it. Could you walk a dog for a local rescue and see how that goes? My younger son does this - he'd love a dog but works - and finds it rewarding. Also, I second the poster who said having a dog is like having another child. A child who never grows up. And never learns to open a door (or in the case of my boy, had taught himself to open a door but doesn't close it or wipe his paws - a joy in these lovely winter months!)

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