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Please don't judge me 🙁🙁

(26 Posts)
Giraffe1706 Sat 16-Jul-16 22:14:08

Name changed for this as can maybe be identified. I'm thinking I need to rehome my dog, my partner left me 2 months ago and I have a young baby and battling postnatal depression, I also have an elder child with special needs. I really really don't want to have to rehome him l feel terrible about it but I can't give him the time he needs or deserves now I'm on my own, my ex partner has refused to take him even temporarily till I get better and baby is a little older and I can take better care of our dog.. Please don't judge this really isn't a case of a new baby comes along and dog gets booted out, it's breaks my heart to think I will need to rehome him. Problem is I wouldn't even know where to start, I'm not keen on putting an ad up on a pet selling site on FB etc, I will not just give him to anyone. Does anyone know where to start when rehoming a dog? Thanks

Wolfiefan Sat 16-Jul-16 22:15:19

No judging. This sounds so stressful. What makes you think you need to rehome? Cost? Exercise?

JennyBunn Sat 16-Jul-16 22:17:42

I haven't a clue about rehoming but as a first-time dog owner who had PND prior to getting my dog, you have my sympathies. I could barely take care of myself and my baby let alone a dog when I had PND.

Best wishes flowers

ApocalypseSlough Sat 16-Jul-16 22:20:28

I hope you're not flamed. sad
Put the word out- tell family and friends that you sadly need to find him a new home. Thinking about animals in my extended family many have been from families where there were allergies/ family moved into a flat/ relocated etc.
is it not too big, not too young and near London?

mineofuselessinformation Sat 16-Jul-16 22:20:36

Absolutely no criticism here. I had to rehome two dogs after xh and I separated (lucky him to walk away and leave me with all of the responsibility....)
Two young dcs and looking after dogs properly didn't mix. I felt very sad, but knew it was the right thing to do.
Sympathies, OP. You're clearly not doing this for yourself, but for the quality of life of your dog, and that has to be a good thing however hard. flowers

Giraffe1706 Sat 16-Jul-16 22:34:21

Cost isn't a problem as I was paying for insurance, food etc myself anyway. Yes it's the exercise for him and also he's seems to have slipped back into some bad habits like having a few accidents in the house, I forgot to mention that my baby has reflux (part of the reason I have postnatal depression, I think) and I'm really struggling with the baby, but that's another thread. I've asked around friends (don't really have family) but they already have pets or young children so that's a no go. He's a really lovely dog but he deserves consistent good quality walks and attention and I'm just a mess at the moment.. Can barely look after myself. Really upsets me that my ex isn't willing to help with him, is just happy to give up responsibility totally and walk away.

Highway61 Sat 16-Jul-16 22:36:05

Don't think twice about rehoming if it is too much for you.

NeedACleverNN Sat 16-Jul-16 22:36:43

Sometimes rehoming the dog is actually the best thing you can instead of struggling along.

Can you talk to your nearest rescue to see if they have space?

If they don't have space offer to keep the dog as a foster and make a donation towards a home check?

AlpacaLypse Sat 16-Jul-16 22:40:16

What sort of dog is he? If he falls in our parameters we'll take him, if not we'll hunt up someone who does. I'm looking for age and cross here.

Pippin8 Sat 16-Jul-16 22:40:50

What breed/age is he?

AlpacaLypse Sat 16-Jul-16 22:43:40

Sorry, posted fast there... we know good places for quite a lot of dogs. But the big hole is for young staffies and staffie x-s and also for husky types. No-one wants them or has foster space sad

sweetkitty Sat 16-Jul-16 22:43:58

No flaming here

Have you asked around family and friends?

I had a cat who was very nervous and when the DC came along she couldn't cope with the noise, we always said she was a cat who needed to be an only cat (we had two others who bullied) her in a quiet house with an elderly person. Anyway my dad wanted a cat offered to take her, she had a great last few years being totally spoiled by him.

Giraffe1706 Sat 16-Jul-16 22:47:11

I don't mind inboxing details of the dog but I think I might have outed myself as it is so if anyone wants to know more about him then message me please.

EllenTheEgret Sat 16-Jul-16 22:49:58

Whereabouts in the country are you? Maybe someone can recommend a local rescue.

Some will re-home directly, or put the dog into foster so that it avoids spending time in kennels.

paddypants13 Sat 16-Jul-16 22:51:39

Dogs' Trust have a no destruction policy. Have a look at their website snd contact your nearest centre. Only downside is they may have a waiting list.

Is your dog a pedigree? If so there may be a breed specific organisation who will know the breed traits and iron out any training issues.

No judging from me op, sounds like you're having a tough time.

Gileswithachainsaw Sat 16-Jul-16 22:52:16

Can't advise om rehousing.

I just wanted to add to the sea of voices saying that you don't deserve a flaming here. and that sometimes being a good owner means admitting when you can no longer provide the kind of home and care needed and having the courage to give them.up to someone who can.

I'm. sorry you are having such a hard time I hope things improve for you flowers

Wolfiefan Sat 16-Jul-16 23:00:07

Could a charity like the Cinnamon Trust help with exercise? Or borrow my doggy!

nothingtoadd Sat 16-Jul-16 23:07:20

No flaming hereflowers

One thing I would urge you to consider though....

My arse of an ex left me with 2 children and lovely dog. I worked and honestly thought I couldn't manage. He was a fantastic dog, and basically he sort of healed with me.

I had to go out each day. The unconditional love he gave me was exactly what I needed. The children learned that there was one of me, but ddog still needed to be walked whatever the weather/timing etc. They just had to get used to it.

He was very low maintenance so I'm not saying this is the same for you, but we sort of weathered the storm together.

Good luck whatever you decide. X

Adarajames Sun 17-Jul-16 10:28:37

If you want to PM me the details about the dog and roughly where you are, I'll see if any of the rescues I know/work with can help? X

wtffgs Sun 17-Jul-16 10:58:57

No judging here. Your plate is full to overflowing and you are still thinking of your dog's best interests. brewflowers

Adarajames Wed 20-Jul-16 02:45:36

Hello op
Are you still needing help with your dog? Do get back in touch if you need to, we can work out the best result for all without judgement x

Scuttlebutter Wed 20-Jul-16 16:45:38

It's difficult to help the OP without knowing at least some basic info about the dog - age and breed for starters.

Broad suggestions would be to try your local allbreed rescue (google Dog rescue Yourtown) or if your dog is, say, a Cav then type in "cavalier rescue" into google. Most popular breeds have at least one rescue (often working nationwide), and the most popular breeds e.g. Labs, spaniels, doodles etc will have several in different bits of the UK.

General advice on surrendering (and yes it can often be wholly to the dog's advantage - no flaming here). Please make sure you have the dog's paperwork together e.g. vaccination certificates, chip details etc. and these are handed to the person when you do the handover. Also let them know whether dog is spayed/neutered, any allergies, any training and PLEASE be honest about things like behaviour e.g. housetraining. it's not a problem, but it's just so much easier to know to expect issues especially for the foster home who will be looking after them.

Bear in mind that the vast majority of rescue are run by volunteers so don't expect either an instant call back or for your dog to be collected instantly. Especially for rescues where a dog is going into a foster home, transport runs need to be organised and these can often involve co-ordinating several volunteers (no easy job at this time of year, with so many people away on holiday or with kids off).

Rescues will also be struggling as many use boarding kennels to supplement their own arrangements and of course the school summer hols are the busiest time of year for boarding establishments. There is also a noticeable spike in people who abandon and surrender their dogs at this time year, either because they don't want to pay kennel fees when they go on holiday, or they can't cope with both DC and dog at home during the school hols.

Please, please don't try to rehome your dog yourself via social media or FTGH type websites. You will have no idea where your dog could end up and there are some unsavoury uses for dogs when they are easy to get hold of.

Adarajames Wed 20-Jul-16 17:22:52

Scuttle - I've had some PM conversation with the op and know many of these details, and can confirm with her which rescue would be taking him on if she wants to go ahead. I understand you are concerned, but I volunteer with a number of respected smaller rescues, so am being careful that all is done in the best way possible if op wants / needs to go ahead with her decision

Shriek Wed 20-Jul-16 20:18:13

so sad for your sitatuion and brave of you to post.. no judgement here

wondering if a friend or family member would help you out until life is feeling more manageable?

there might also be foster carers out there that could help you. what sort of ddog and management does it need?

someone on here might like /be able to take on a foster to help out?

Claraoswald36 Wed 20-Jul-16 20:24:48

Just signing in with not a flame in sight. Hope you are ok op

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