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General worries

(5 Posts)
fourpawswhite Sat 16-Apr-16 22:14:15


Just wondered if I could talk this over, yes I am a worrier. This may be long, apologies.

I have the most wonderful friend in the world. This was unexpected, and now I am unsure how to proceed. My DH is a farmer. We have a wee terrier cross. Married 14 years. ttc 4, about to start IVF, hence low confidence. Wee dog had puppies 6 years ago, met a lovely lovely knowledgeable lady and used her dog, held her in high esteem, still do. Last year doggie started to become slower and we got a puppy from her to start to "work" with DH and wee dog could retire. Puppy chose otherwise and attached herself to me, I love dogs but have never had "my own" before.

So, older dog has been typical terrier, and before we knew pup wanted to be with me, we agreed I would do every puppy class going. Older dog hates dogs, new people and everything really. Which is not an issue as she is just with DH. Puppy complete opposite, loves everyone.

Lady who bred her also runs a ring craft class and is extremely successful at showing. I have taken puppy faithfully every week, without fail, plus training puppy classed as a general. Lady is lovely but often busy at class. Clearly, I am a beginner as is puppy. I loved it. New people, puppy loves everyone, super, by nature of the group, I have been introduced to showing. Fine, lovely, something different. Went to first show and loved it, was beaten by her brother who lady sold, but who won at crufts, nothing unexpected. We are doing this for fun.

We have our show class show tomorrow, at practice this week, the guy taking it shouted at me. I can be all over the place, I am picking it up as I go along and have a puppy. He has been rude and harsh since I started, various comments about armatures etc. But he said, "you are making a bad name for yourself" and I can't get it out my head. I waked into the practice ring and took a step backwards, I stepped close to another lady and was completely in her space, that was it. I said sorry, I'm shit at it, i know this, and she was absolutely fine. But he was so harsh. I'm trying to meet new people and get out side work abit more, it's really upset me, and I know I'm pathetic but I don't want to go anymore,

Now I feel sad, I am letting puppy down? Because she loves it. But is fairly useless and just likes a play, disappointed in myself, and quite hurt. I think because she is from such a rebuttable person, they expect us to be perfect. I'm embarrassed to go back.

She's a bouncy wee thing and I have approached some people about ability but no responses, I can't get his words out my mind. I know this is entirely minor and believe me, I have much bigger worries hut I just felt for once, I had something I was enjoying. Now I feel picked on. I don't know whether to speak to breeder, and "report him" or explain why I don't want to go, but it's really upset me. It was the "making a bad name for yourself" what? Do they all hate me? God I am so insecure at the moment. Any thoughts?

Septbaby Sun 17-Apr-16 00:32:58

flowers for you! Sorry to hear they you're feeling so low, I can only give you some reassurance that I did agility with my dog before I fell pregnant and we were hilariously clumsy and out of sync but we both enjoyed it and that's all that mattered. Had a very patient and reliable trainer who didn't mind us taking our time and redoing things. Maybe that's what you need a relaxed class to enjoy it together and work up towards more pressured classes. Maybe think about finding another class in your area? You aren't letting your pup down she will just love the fact she's getting some fun time with you!

Don't worry about the breed, reputation of the breeders or anything other than you and your pup having fun and building a bond! grin]

TrionicLettuce Sun 17-Apr-16 12:40:54

The guy at your ringcraft class sounds like a twat, I would absolutely be complaining to your friend about him. A good ringcraft class should be highly supportive and encouraging of new people, unfortunately there's always going to be the odd person who takes the whole thing far too seriously.

Presumably if you only got your pup last year she can't be much more than a year old at the most? Judges don't expect dogs of that age to have impeccable behaviour, however well bred they are. DWhippet3 was ten months old at his first show and he spent most of the time in the ring trying to roll around on the floor (we were outside on grass; many interesting smells) but it was a puppy class so daft behaviour like that was forgiven.

Definitely don't worry about letting your puppy down. If she's having a good time at shows then she doesn't care whether she comes home with a rosette or not!!

Would trying another ringcraft class be an option? The one I go to is lovely and relaxed, the woman who runs it (who got BoB with her bitch at Crufts this year and bred the current breed record holder) is hugely knowledgeable and always helps everyone at class who needs it. She spent ages with me and DWhippet2 when he was a bit nervous of being gone over on the table.

I can also highly recommend the book Stand! by Trish Hall, it's like a bible for people new to showing!!

fourpawswhite Sun 17-Apr-16 13:05:57

Wow, thank you both so much. I didn't really expect anyone to read all my ramblings.

I have ordered that book, super thanks.

The guy is a twat. I have not gone today and I am sure lady will ask why, so I think I will say something. I thought I was starting to get on OK, and have really enjoyed everyone else's company. It is more of a social thing for me, but something new and different as well. One of the other ladies made a comment about him a few weeks back, about how rude he was, but I was not fully understanding. It just really upset me as it seemed so personal. Like everyone was laughing at me or talking about me.

You are correct, she is only ten months old and is more interested in playing and seeing her pals. I will try and force myself to go back this week and see how I feel. It just seems pointless to ha to force myself to go to something that was meant to be enjoyable. Thank you both for your thoughts. thanks

fourpawswhite Sun 17-Apr-16 13:13:48

Oops, also meant to add there does not seem to be any other classes in the area. This one is an hour away from home but fairly close to work. Means a late night every week but I have not minded until now. I will look abit further afield and see if anything comes up.

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