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I just lost my old girl :(

(24 Posts)
puffylovett Tue 22-Mar-16 09:40:15

Just feeling a bit lost, really.
It wasn't the nicest of ends. I'm trying to remember all the lovely things about her, but it's very hard.
We'd made the decision to put her to sleep today, but in the end she had a massive seizure and we had to dash her in to the emergency vets. The house feels so empty and I feel like I failed her at the end.
I keep looking at all the doggy threads and photos of her when she was young and happy and bouncy. She did have a lovely life, really. I just miss her so very much sad DH is in pieces bless him, me not so much as I spent time saying my goodbyes over the last week or so. She had a lovely last day in the sunny garden snoozing with us on Sunday.
I don't think he will let me have another dog as we have busy weekends camping and biking - he's always said he wants his freedom from that commitment when she goes sad I know it's far too early to be thinking about another but I just loved her so much - she was by my side for so long. Sorry for the self indulgent post sad

schilke Tue 22-Mar-16 10:12:06

thanks You didn't fail her. You got her help at the end. Let yourself grieve and enjoy your memories and photos of her.

29PaddingtonSt Tue 22-Mar-16 10:48:56

So sorry Puffy. You didn't fail her. You were with her and she knows she was loved.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Tue 22-Mar-16 10:50:58

Oh bless you. It's never easy. I'm so sorry. You're not being self indulgent, you're in shock and you're grieving, it's perfectly normal. We've all been there and we all know how you feel. Vent away. flowers

puffylovett Tue 22-Mar-16 11:17:19

Thank you lovelies.
I'm stood by my kitchen radiator next to her bed, I often used to sit next to her on the floor stroking her. I'm sure she just used to think 'just leave me alone', she did love her bed! She had a lovely sweet habit of putting her paws up on the side of it and resting her head on them. It made me want to kiss her. Even if she did stink! No amount of baths or brushing would ever make her look beautifully groomed :-D she was such a scragbag. She was permanently covered in bin rubbish, I used to find so much rubbish tucked in under her cushions from her regular bin raids. I knew she wasn't long with us when she stopped raiding them a few weeks ago sad

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 22-Mar-16 11:34:00

Sorry your friend has gone but you will be able to treasure happy memories. flowers Whatever the universe offers pets puffy I trust that she is in a good place.

ToomuchChocolatemeansBootcamp Tue 22-Mar-16 13:35:09

I'm so sorry flowers sounds like she had a wonderful life full of love, and you were with her at the end. No dog would ask for anything more. Give yourself time to grieve and maybe after the summer you can discuss again with DH about a possible future dog. It's too soon now tho, so just keep the happy memories and give yourself plenty of time to think of her.

sunshinehitme Tue 22-Mar-16 13:37:14

My lab died after a massive seizure in November, she was only 6 and it happened on my birthday, so I know how much of an unpleasant end it is.
I still struggle with it but I think mostly that's due to how young she was. The first couple of days were horrid, I thought i would never get over it, I still think about it all the time but have started to come to terms with it and can remember the good bits more than the horrible end. thanks

Wolfiefan Tue 22-Mar-16 13:39:43

She sounds like an amazing character. She had a good life with you and was clearly much loved.

TheCricketWidow Tue 22-Mar-16 14:17:36

So sorry to hear this thanks

puffylovett Tue 22-Mar-16 14:37:35

Aww sunshine sad hope those memories are starting to fade now sad

puffylovett Tue 22-Mar-16 14:46:23

She was very loved. I was a totally inexperienced owner, I got her from a pet shop when I was young! She was a total impulse buy, and probably puppy farmed. But we both knew as soon as we laid eyes on each other we belonged together. I remember her snuggling into my neck and making lovely little noises and that was me done, head over heels.

I never really trained her, just loved her and probably totally spoilt her. DH liked to joke that she was the only dog in the world who could simultaneously sofa surf movies and order a Chinese takeaway!

When I fell pregnant EVERYONE told me to give her away. She was so pretty that kids used to run at her when she was being lead walked, so of course she barked at them. We refused and she was just amazing with my boys, and all their friends. She's been clambered on, fussed and dragged out for walks around campsites and never once a cross word from her. She just loved the chance to mop up their food scraps smile

puffylovett Tue 22-Mar-16 14:49:58

My beautiful old girl sad
Its nice to be writing these memories down.

daisy5569 Tue 22-Mar-16 18:23:20

She looks lovely and she sounds like she had a fantastic life, Its hard when they go, I lost my old boy in November last year and the house felt so empty.....said I didnt want anymore dogs but couldnt stand not having one so I put the feelers out for a puppy of the same breed as they are usually born in December. I now have a new little boy, same colour and breed but totally different in character. Had my doubts about if it was the right thing to do before I got him but now hes here it definitely was the right thing.... Still cant let him use my old boys bed though blush
Maybe in time you will feel its right to get a new doggy, I read on one of these forums once that when your dog goes it takes a tiny part of your heart with you which is only filled once you have a new little doggy to love, take care and enjoy all your memories

MaynJune Tue 22-Mar-16 19:24:12

She was really gorgeous!
I hope you can eventually just remember how wonderful she was without feeling too upset.

TheDailyWail Tue 22-Mar-16 19:57:39

She was beautiful - looks like mine and sounds like mine too.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Tue 22-Mar-16 20:11:11

Oh my she was beautiful. It's not self indulgent at all, dogs give so much of themselves while asking for very little in return, it is no wonder they leave such massive holes when they go. She had a wonderful life and you gave her a great gift by letting her go. My old boy spent his last day wolfing down custard creams the he'd never been allowed to have but always hankered after (along with huge amount of painkillers so everyone could get home to say goodbye to him).

puffylovett Tue 22-Mar-16 21:28:30

Aww Daisy that's lovely.. Lovely that you have a new boy to love and spoil, I bet he's bringing you so much joy! They're so special.
Hellhas - what a lucky lad, custard creams are yummy - he must have thought he was in heaven already! I struggled knowing what to give pops, everything just gave her a bad tum - in the end she was on fresh salmon and rice which she loved, plus all the table scraps like pizza crusts which she loved and wouldn't normally have been allowed! She went so thin and frail bless her.

Thank you all for your comforting words, it really helps to know we aren't alone. DH and I are both feeling hollow and the cat is stuck to me like a lost lamb, missing his nighttime hot water bottle pal! I think another dog would be right for me but DH disagrees, plus we really couldn't afford it - got to pay off all pops vet bills yet sad

pud1 Tue 22-Mar-16 21:35:50

My boy died on Sunday. Like you I feel like there is a huge gap in my family.
He was 11 years old and had liver cancer. He died in the cat on the way to the vets. I can't help but think that we should have just left him to go peacefully at home rather than carrying him to the car.

BirthdayBetty Tue 22-Mar-16 21:43:37

puffy I'm so sorry flowers
What a beautiful lady smile

BirthdayBetty Tue 22-Mar-16 21:45:44

flowers pud what a handsome boy smile

puffylovett Tue 22-Mar-16 22:02:12

pud don't beat yourself up.. You were trying to do right by him, the same as we were. We were paralysed watching her for several minutes thrashing around, until we got hold of the vet. I would rather she died in the car knowing we were trying to help her, than standing around helplessly watching her in pain. I might have felt differently if she hadn't made it there, I can't know now, but we had to do something and no doubt you did too.
He was a really handsome boy, big hugs to you.

I'm sure I heard pops 3 times in the night barking, I woke up to it. Then I dreamt she was stood at the end of the drive, waiting for me. Then earlier when I was putting ds1 to bed I could have sworn I heard her Yelp as if DH had tripped over her while clearing up from tea. It's funny isn't it, maybe they're still with us in some form!

Xenadog Sat 26-Mar-16 22:29:48

It's so terribly sad when a beloved pet passes. My old girl (16 year old Jrt whom I'd had from 5.5 weeks old) had to be PTS less than a month ago because of old age/heart disease. I talk about her every day and miss her so much.

puffy I've also had the dilemma with thinking about when to get another dog. When the time is right for you all you will get another one - not to replace your beautiful old girl but because your family is one that has a home to offer a dog. We won't until our DD is about 5 (shes currently 2). DD keeps asking about Xenadog and saying she is poorly at the vets.

The hole left in a family when a pet dies is huge - makes me wonder why we go back for more really but we always do.

Wolfiefan Sat 26-Mar-16 22:34:16

What gorgeous dogs. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been walking a dog for over a year (not mine). I've lost that opportunity now. (His owner died and he's gone to live elsewhere.)
It feels like a double bereavement and he wasn't even my dog.

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