Help, I can't go on.(54 Posts)
NC for this.
Puppy is 20 weeks & over the last 3-4 weeks I've started to hate her. She's a massive bundle of mad puppy energy in a big dogs body. I'm her main carer, I come home at lunch & spend all my days off/free time cleaning up after her. I dread getting up in the mornings now as I just can't face the day ahead. Already today she's scratched me to pieces & biten my arm. She's currently exiled to the garden, but keeps scratching the door to be let in. DH has started sharing the lunchtime duty with me but it's hard as he's often away. He sorts her & does all of the cleaning etc when he gets in from work.
Her good points are:
She's good off the lead & she's housetrained.
She's well socialised & loves other dogs.
She likes her crate & has successfully completed puppy classes.
Her bad points are:
She bites & scratches me a lot.
She is destructive & chews a lot.
She can't settle inside the house apart from at night if the fire is on.
She jumps up a lot, putting her paws on the kitchen work surfaces, table etc.
She won't let me dry or clean her without it being a massive wrestling game.
I am literally at my wits end. What can I do? I can't crate her/put her in the garden everyday. We used to walk her together, but I've stopped going as I need to be away from her. I've told DH 3 times I want to rehome her. My last dog who I had from 8 weeks until he died aged 10 was nothing like this.
What sort of dog? My mum got a terrier who was a bloody bitey scratchy nightmare as a pup!
Sounds like she needs more attention rather than less - and loads of training to stop the biting, jumping etc and keep her brain occupied so she's calmer and more settled. I'm afraid shutting her in the garden is the last thing you should be doing and will only make things worse
If you don't have the time or interest in training and caring for her properly then find a responsible place to re-home her, quickly
Is she on her own all day apart from lunchtimes?
Honestly? You don't have to put up with this misery if she isn't the right dog for you.
If you look at the bad points you have written.... They are all things that will either go away as a puppy gets older or you can train out of them.
I do understand I honestly so. It took me a while to bond with my pup and it can be hard.
But .... Look at all the good points you wrote. Puppies are hard and to get her to be amazing at all those things ( my dog is one and struggles with some of them) you must have put so much work into her.
If you can hang in there for a while longer you should see lots of those things go.
I agree with Costa that she needs more attention and stimulation or you can't keep her.
DH offered to send her away to some dog training boot camp.
Like that's going to help, it'll probably make her worse.
I've let her back in & wished I hadn't. I need to start my cleaning & iron DC's uniforms but she'll be swinging of the iron cord. I literally can't leave her for a minute, even to go to the loo as something will be destroyed when I get back.
It does sound as if she is left on her own for most of the day
I have a 2 year old black lab bitch. I felt just like you do when she was that age. I wanted to send her back to the breeder.
Give her some chew toys to chew on. When she tries to bite you give her the toy.
This will take time but I guarantee you she will stop biting when you give her the toy and not your arm.
You need to give a firm No! When jumping up or on anything you don't want her jumping on. All of this needs to be calm but firm. It will get better I promise you. My lab is amazing now I'm so glad I didn't give her back.
However, if you feel you really can't cope then I would consider rehoming her.
She is left 3-4 days a week from 9-12 then 12-45-3.15 when DC gets in.
Typical day if I'm off
Up, out to toilet.
Play inside- treat ball, tennis ball or old box.
Walk on road to park, field. Off lead for 15 mins, play with ball or other dogs.
Back home, toilet, quite time(usually crate if I'm upstairs cleaning or going to do food shop).
Out of crate after a few hours, play hide treats or I used to train her, but she's so clever & got sit,wait, paw etc weeks ago so I've stopped as don't know what else to do.
Although today it's been up out to toilet, feed & garden as I've sat crying. It's really affecting day to day life now.
Puppy class trainer had no useful advice.
As for the jumping, scratching & biting I've tried off, yelping, water bottle spray & ignoring her. All to no avail.
I said to DH we're obviously not what she needs.
Most of your problems seem to be down to training and boredom , all pups bite / nip . Give her stuff to do and make her use her brain to tire her out .
Just to add, she's safely crated during that time & we've set up a presence app to see if she howls etc. Usually she sleeps, occasionally she whines after lunch when I leave.
but she's so clever & got sit,wait, paw etc weeks ago so I've stopped as don't know what else to do.
There's your problem - she's bright and bored - you need to find out what else to do. I'm afraid none of this is about the dog, it's all about you and how you're dealing with her. There's loads of help online, just google it instead of shutting her in the garden and sitting crying
You're right I know it's about me.
Thanks. I would have never have thought to google. Silly me.
Is that sarcastic?
You've asked for help and there is loads online - she needs more training, fun things to exercise her brain and keep her busy - hide and seek with treats, clicker training, tricks, frozen kongs - just off the top of my head with no googling
I think sometimes when things feel so desperate you can't see past it.
Maybe try another month and up what your doing with her. Watching her learn new things and accomplish something amazing may help you bond with her a bit.
I love it when my springer learns something new. He has a bad reaction to other dogs but yesterday he walked past three without reacting. I was like a child in a sweet shop so happy and giddy my husband thought I had lost the plot.
Bonding over something you both enjoy will make it so much easier. Start on a new page and go forward with new ideas and thoughts. Google and you tube are amazing places.
One of my boredom busters for my dog is to put his good in stuff from the recycling box. Sometimes it takes him ages to figure out how to get his food out of closed boxes etc. Give it a try.
If my example of what I do with her on my days off makes you think 'poor dog'. Then I have actually realised that I am not what she needs as I can't do much more.
OP I don't think anyone is trying to criticise. They are suggesting ways forward I think. Was your last dog the same breed?
15 mins off lead doesn't sound like enough to me. Our small retriever happily runs off lead for over an hour with me 4 days a week and then will play all day at doggy day care when I work. And he isn't very bright or energetic.
Sounds like you either need to rehome or provide more exercise and stimulation.
At 20 weeks surely the amount of mad running a big breed dog can do is limited to avoid joint issues.
But it's not working is it? So something has to change - either find different, more stimulating things for her to do - or responsibly re-home her, preferably via the breed rescue
What do you want me to say? Shut her in the garden for the next 6 months and she'll magically turn into a calm, well-behaved dog?
If you can't do any more, then no, maybe she needs to be somewhere else
Puppy at 20 weeks I think the amount of mad running around exercise a big breed dog does has to be limted to avoid joint problems later
Weimerarners are very very intelligent Dogs who need a lot of mental stimulation & exercise,obviously you can't exercise much due to age at the moment .
Can the family all help & do a few more short walks throughout the day so pup gets a chance to sniff about?
Anyone else have dogs that yours can play about with? My lab was a complete loon at that age & exhausted himself more playing with other dogs than walking.
I can't remember if you said but will pup chase a ball ?
I use antler & horns for my dogs to chew,I've a tug a jug,weeble wobble & various other toys that I can put their food in & I also fill kongs & freeze them so they last ages.
You could also hide little treat around the garden and play " find it" which will stimulate the pups mind a bit.
Good luck Op,I'm sure things will get easier!
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