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Have I made a mistake?

(7 Posts)
HollyBollyBooBoo Tue 09-Feb-16 03:00:27

Bought a puppy in October, my 5yo DD really struggled to adapt to having him in the house when it's just been her and I since she was a baby.

Puppy has settled in well, thought we'd cracked toilet training but now at 6 months his hormones seem to have kicked in and he's started peeing up curtains and on cushions, presumably marking his territory.

My big issue is he seems to have no interest in my DD or I, there is no bond between us really. He's a cav so supposed to need a lot of human interaction etc but he has no interest in affection from us and just stays on the other sofa when he finally settles down of an evening.

To be honest I fell like I have made an extremely expensive mistake in getting him. He doesn't want any affection, he can't be trusted not to pee everywhere so more and more I find myself keeping him in the kitchen.

I am truly wondering whether to find him a better home.

Lokibuddyboo Tue 09-Feb-16 05:25:53

Has he been Neutered as my little ddog was the same when he hit that 6 month mark, hormones kicked in and he would mark sofas, walls,curtains basically any surface he could cock his little leg on, but never in my house always in my father's or sisters house.
So when he was nine months old I'd had enough and got him Neutered the marking stopped immediately so if he's not already done I'd recommend getting him Neutered it worked for me.
With regards to the lack of affection I don't know as my ddog is the opposite, really cuddly needs to sit on me all the time luckily he's small follows me every where. (I haven't pee'd in peace since I got him lol)
Try doing some training with him build up more of a bond maybe, but some dogs are just not that needy for affection as others my father's Akita is like that she would rather sit out in the garden alone than cuddle on the sofa with you, your lucky if she comes to you to say hello.
some dogs are just independent and like their own company I think.
Well good luck with him

RaspberrySnowCone Tue 09-Feb-16 10:08:56

He's only tiny, he's getting independent and exploring the world around him. I wouldn't worry to much about his lack of interest in you as such but I would be doing things to promote it. For example if he's being fed kibble then spend some time feeding him by hand, do some clicker training, play fun games with him, make you an exciting person to be with. Book in for some training lessons with him. Re the toilet training they do get it wrong for a while, they forget I think as they are busy doing things. Just keep taking him out regularly and give lots of praise when he goes outside. He'll get there, he just needs lots of patience and time.

BlackMarigold Tue 09-Feb-16 11:22:35

Can you go to training classes? This'll help to build a bond as will teach how to get dog to focus on you. Most people have to work at this, it doesn't just happen naturally.

TrionicLettuce Tue 09-Feb-16 12:37:34

This is all totally normal behaviour.

All our pups have gone through at least one (sometimes several) really independent phase as they're getting towards and through their teenage stage at which point I always worry that they don't love me They're whippets so known for being super affectionate and after a while they do settle down and become total love sponges, it's just all part of them growing up.

DWhippet2 went through a phase of marking in the house at a similar age. We didn't rush to neuter but instead just kept an eye on him, reduced the freedom he had to wander round the house and it didn't take long for it stop. Again it's just a phase, if you reinforce his toilet training and prevent him going in the house it should just stop.

I also agree with doing some training classes, whether basic training or something like puppy agility (they can't start jumps etc. until they're a year old but some people run puppy classes where they learn all the basics like direction commands and such), it's a great way to have fun together and build up your bond. Clicker training at home is also great, have a look at Kikopup's videos on YouTube for all sorts of stuff you could teach him.

pigsDOfly Tue 09-Feb-16 12:56:42

As pp said some dogs are just self sufficient, my dog is one of them. She's always been that way. She's happy to do training and play with me and, of course have lots of tummy rubs and back scratches, but when it comes to sitting in the evening she's usually upstairs on her own or across the room, she rarely, if ever sits on my lap. Oddly enough though, she sleeps on my bed at night.

I've come to the conclusion that any affection is always going to be on her terms. I'm a very independent person so it's not a problem for me though.

As dog owners we have to accept our pets for what they are, if that's his personality there's not much you can do about it.

Having said that, it's still very early days in your relationship and you are still building a bond with him, it does take quite some time for a dog to be completely comfortable with its humans, and for the humans to understand the dog but the more training and time you spend doing things with him the greater the bond.

Cuddling is an alien concept to dogs as they would never do it in their natural state. A lot of dogs will be more than fine with it but some dogs just never learn to like it.

HollyBollyBooBoo Tue 09-Feb-16 13:38:23

Thanks all really appreciate your comments. Will spend more time on training etc, we have been to puppy training classes and that was good.

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