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High wind poo bag horror

(32 Posts)
AnUtterIdiot Fri 29-Jan-16 10:34:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spanielcrackers Fri 29-Jan-16 10:42:24

Oh noooo!
I have yet to walk the bastard spaniels. They both do stress poos (wring out their colons) when leaving the field to come home. I shall have to be extra careful when bagging their deposits.
I hope you were nearly home.

Madblondedog Fri 29-Jan-16 10:45:04

There is a tactic for this in the wind, stand so the wind is blowing bag over your hand whilst you put it on, then put hand over poo, then turn so wind is blowing bag over poo, scoop and walk away smug grin

NoCapes Fri 29-Jan-16 10:47:51

Our dog refuses to go out for walks in bad weather
I luffs her grin

AnUtterIdiot Fri 29-Jan-16 10:50:10

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AnUtterIdiot Fri 29-Jan-16 10:51:26

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LaPharisienne Fri 29-Jan-16 10:53:44

Would it make you feel better if I told you that my dog vomited neatly all over my cat last night?

50% thank f*$%k it wasn't on the sofa and 50% that is the most revolting thing I have ever seen since the cat vomited on my sleeping boyfriend in the middle of the night

The cat just lay there looking at the vomit while I killed myself laughing.

Madblondedog Fri 29-Jan-16 10:59:53

Utter it took some practise, but living by the south coast its almost essential to avoid spending winter wishing the dog didn't poo and trying to convince him to only go in our nice sheltered garden

AnUtterIdiot Fri 29-Jan-16 10:59:55

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Madblondedog Fri 29-Jan-16 11:00:56

Poor cat!

Ddog likes to sneeze in people's faces, ideally ones he's just met

AnUtterIdiot Fri 29-Jan-16 11:01:38

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TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Fri 29-Jan-16 11:02:30

I have a technique, it can be a bit dangerous if you have a dog with a sense of humour

hand inside bag, finger OUTSTRETCHED monkeyfingers are better for this obv

hook nearest handle of bag with forefinger of other hand and hold taut

descend upon offending item, grasp and then deftly hook handle over and around the containing hand whilst simultaneously closing and withdrawing the inside hand.

the danger comes if the dog decides to give you a gentle shove as he gallops by, since having both hands effectively ravelled in a bag can mean an unfortunate faceplant in a unsavoury location.

I may give the windsock technique a go though.

LaPharisienne Fri 29-Jan-16 11:03:06

Cat totally unphased. And FWIW I used kitchen roll. It smelt like a meat pie, disconcertingly.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Fri 29-Jan-16 11:06:42

madblonde of mine does that, he likes to remind you he is there, cos in his mind he is easily overlooked idiot donkey sized creature .... but also will use it as an introduction.

if he really likes you you'll get a great wet ninja doglick too.

ExitPursuedByABear Fri 29-Jan-16 11:10:23

My bastard spaniel puked, noisily, at the bank manager's feet the other day.


Lonecatwithkitten Fri 29-Jan-16 11:13:50

Position yourself so your back is to the wind with the poo in front of you. So your body forms a wind break preventing poo bag from being blown about. Hand in poo bag, bag and hand over poo firmly turn bag inside out bring ties quickly together and tie. Only alter body position once poo firmly tied in bag.

Madblondedog Fri 29-Jan-16 11:20:40

Loving all these windy poo collection techniques, the things we do for our charming pets

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia yes mine does the ninja lick too, always when you're looking away. Oh and legs get licked straight out of the shower, especially when they've just been shaved..........we warn female guests about that one.

AnUtterIdiot Fri 29-Jan-16 11:25:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Fri 29-Jan-16 11:29:03

I have an Idiotcat for post shower leg licking, but sometimes he preers to just dabble in the shower tray ...that's not to say that donkey dog does not take those responsibilities very seriously, but he is scared of the stairs, so unless you have to dash downstairs you are safe from him!

Madblondedog Fri 29-Jan-16 12:12:09

I wish I could read their minds to understand the logic "hmmm this human seems to have a dry nose, they must be ill, if I sneeze on them or lick them then maybe they will get better"

"Human always likes to get dry after a shower, I can help by licking them dry - I am a dam good pet if I do say so myself"

pigsDOfly Fri 29-Jan-16 12:22:00

For goodness sake Utter you can hardly expect any sensible dog to pee or vomit on a hard surface, you be bound to get splash back.

On a carpet however, it'll sink in nicely, and with any luck no one will notice.

You should be please you have a dog capable of seeing the bigger picture.

AnUtterIdiot Fri 29-Jan-16 12:23:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BestIsWest Fri 29-Jan-16 20:42:12

What is it about poo no 3. Our last dog insisted on 3 poos per walk and the texture would er, soften with each one.

AnUtterIdiot Sat 30-Jan-16 00:26:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CreepingDogFart Sun 31-Jan-16 07:27:55

I got poo on my fingers last night due to walking in gale force winds but as I acted as my own personal windbreaker whilst picking up said loose poo, the poobaggery in itself was going well. Until Mischief Dog decides to take off at 100mph, yanking me to the side and thus smearing the offending substance on my fingers. Has anyone else had this happen before and then you have to try and hold the lead with full control plus do other things like hold your hood on your head/ unhook dogs leg from around lead/ hold treat bag/ put poo bag roll away... all without the use of most fingers on one hand?

At least he's over the stage of mounting me when I'm picking it up now. That was embarrassing.

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