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My lovely godson's lovely puppy was run over y'day

(16 Posts)
OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 25-Jan-16 14:30:05

and died. She was only 5 months old and an utter delight.
Everyone is v sad
How can I help?
TIA

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster Mon 25-Jan-16 14:31:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KinkyAfro Mon 25-Jan-16 14:51:42

Oh how sad, poor little puppy and your poor godson flowers

I have no advice sad

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints Mon 25-Jan-16 16:09:54

Oh I'm so sorry flowers. Just be there for them, I found having my best friend to talk to (well text) helped me immensly becuase I could just 'let it all out' to her. It doesn't matter how long a pet has been in your life they take a huge piece of your heart when they die, particularly when it's unexpected.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints Mon 25-Jan-16 16:16:59

Also, silly as it sounds, let them know that it's ok to leave things like tidying up any mess in the back garden & putting bowls etc away for a few days or that doing it immediately, is ok too. I couldn't face it for the 2 days following my dogs death, I burst in to tears at thought. When I did do it I cried, but I found it....healing I supppse is the best term, I felt lighter after, still sad but not raw (almost like you feel after the horribe limbo between a human death & the funeral). I put her tag on my keyring. I talked to a friend who'd lost her cat after & she said she felt similar. Hope that helps a little.

Scuttlebutter Mon 25-Jan-16 16:42:04

Something which might help your godson is to make a little scrapbook for him of some pictures of him taken with his pup, and you could include things like his vaccination certificates, his pedigree (if he had one) etc. Another variation would be to use one of those deep, 3D frames and make up a collage with things like his collar, his tag, one of his toys, and some pictures.

It's horrible to lose a pup so suddenly - please ensure nobody says to him "it's just a dog" - the bonds can be very powerful and his grief should be respected and given space (as well as that of other family members).

So sorry this has happened.

PouletDePrintemps Mon 25-Jan-16 16:47:40

How awful, I am so sorry.

I agree with PP that I think it is important to not minimise the loss, though it doesn't sound as though you would do that.

When a friend's DDog was killed by a car she took her DC to the local garden centre and they chose a small terracotta ornament of a sleeping dog which they put in the garden as a sort of memorial.

Toooldtobearsed Mon 25-Jan-16 16:54:39

How old is your godson Olivia? That would be traumatic at any age, but when we have lost dogs over the years, I have cleared all beds, toys, bowls etc immediately. All dogs have been cremated and ashes used in specially bought plants. We have roses, all in containers all different colours. My last old girl grows the most beautiful yellow roses and is a lovely reminder of her.
No scrap books, photographs or other memorabilia for a while. It always took me several weeks before I could talk about them without bursting onto tears, the lovely memories are for later.
Did he see the incident, or was he told?
There is no right or wrong way to handle this, but just remember the grieving for a dog is as hard as the grieving for any family member flowers

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Mon 25-Jan-16 21:01:07

God I'm so sorry for him, it's bad enough dealing with it as an adult. He doesn't think it was his fault does he? Was he there when it happened?

PUGaLUGS Mon 25-Jan-16 21:06:26

How sad.

A scrapbook as Scuttle mentions is a lovely idea.

My friends little dog (was just a year old) and a playmate of my dog was run over last August. He slipped his harness and ran out into a busy road sad what's more someone else was walking him.

Veterinari Mon 25-Jan-16 21:13:50

With an accident like that ther will probably be an element of guilt. Depending on your godson's age, perhaps emphasise that sometimes terrible things happen and that it's likely poor pup died very quickly and was having fun racing around when it happened.

Not sure if he was there or not but def emphasise it's no one's fault - I'm sure whoever was walking poor pup feels awful.

I agree that a memorial is a nice thing to do. Or perhaps get him to write a letter reflecting on the fun things they used to do together flowers

Wordsaremything Mon 25-Jan-16 22:23:28

How old was the child and what were the circumstances? Poor puppy, poor family.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 26-Jan-16 12:01:28

Thanks for all the replies -all useful ideas and I will talk to his folks with these. I only have a couple of photos but I am sure they have more.
He's ten.
Thx Mners
x

Canshopwillshop Tue 26-Jan-16 13:56:06

Oh no, how sad for all involved. He must be devastated. I'm so sorry.

Wordsaremything Tue 26-Jan-16 20:06:22

There are also forums and specialists dealing with pet bereavement who could maybe give you advice.

When I was ten, all I ever wanted in the world was a dog. That poor little boy, and whoever was responsible at the time must be devastated.

Specialist help might be the way to go. Encourage them not to throw away the dear dogs things - and yes, photos, memories,

Wordsmith Fri 29-Jan-16 11:33:57

Our puppy died when he was 11 months old - we found him dead in his crate in the morning :-(. Vet reckoned it was probably an undiagnosed heart condition.

My children were 13 & 9 at the time and telling them was heartbreaking. But what helped was deciding within a day or so that we would get another dog, which we did a couple of months later. Its felt heartless at the time, as though we weren't respecting the first puppy, but they occupy such a huge space in your family.

I couldn't walk to the park at all between losing dog 1 and getting dog 2. The thought of bumping into the 'dog squad' with all their lovely hounds was too much to bear.

We never forget dog #1 - we have pictures of him framed in the house and his ashes are on a high shelf. I want to scatter them where he loved to walk but the kids can't face that.

My 13 year old decided, after the first day, that he didn't want to talk about it any more, because it upset him too much. Kids find a way of dealing with these things - you just have to take your cues from them.

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